How do you deal with newborn meltdowns in public?

[Teaandbiscuits91]

I have a 4 week old newborn and I’m only just starting to get out and about but I’m terrified of him crying hysterically and having meltdowns in public. I know all babies cry but he can go from fine to screaming bloody murder in minutes.

If you were in a supermarket, what would you do? Get the baby straight out of the pram to attempt to soothe immediately, drop the shopping and leave, carry on shopping and soothe once you’re back at the car etc? And what about when out at cafes/restaurants?

Just wondering what’s normal and any tips for handling it whilst remaining as calm as poss.

I would let them cry whilst I found somewhere to feed.

I exclusively breastfed both of mine and you do find ways of managing. At least you do have milk on demand and don’t need to wait while you heat bottles etc.

I did once ask the customer service team to watch my full trolley whilst I popped to the car to feed my son as he just wouldn’t stop screaming and I couldn’t bear the checkout stress with him. When I got back they had scanned it all through the till and bagged it up for me so all I had to do was pay!

Havr a quick scout out of places that you could feed when you arrive somewhere. I fed mine in cafes, park benches, the car often, lay-bys when travelling! You find ways.

I breastfed my ds for 2 1/2 years and also work in a shop honestly I think most staff in a shop would either find you somewhere suitable to feed baby or they’d look after your shopping while your bf in the car. It’s scary going out at first but the more you do it the easier it becomes and it’s so important to get out and about. Also congratulations op!

This!
I was so afraid of taking my little one out because I thought I wouldn't be able to manage her,but it was just a hurdle i needed to get over.People love babies!
Don't stress! Once you do it it will be like second nature.

Husband does the shopping online so usually didn't have a big shop to do. Did get caught with a screaming baby and a trolley sometimes though. Tried to sooth whilst still in trolley seat, if crying got louder I would hold baby and steer trolley with one hand. Grab last/most urgent items then head for a till. Sometimes others would let me to the front of the line! Sit on seat in supermarket (the ones by the tills on the way out) and breastfeed or if crying is bearable go to the car then feed. Babies cry, people don't mind unless they're trying to enjoy their dinner in restaurant or something.

I would never let my baby cry while I finished something else. As soon as they cry you attend to their needs, regardless of what that need is. You can feed in the supermarket.

Feed him somewhere near the tills, there’s usually a chair. Check for wind. Put him in a papoose so that he’s close and carry on shopping calmly.

They also don’t normally go from perfectly content to screaming the place down with no notice - look for rooting, putting their hand in their mouth, etc. If you catch them then, you can get paid and out of the shop before the screaming starts.

www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/feeding/early-days/reality-feeding-10-things-you-need-know

I exclusively breastfed and stopped to feed always. Chances were that I'd never get a shopping done otherwise.

I brought along a very floaty light cotton scarf to drape strategically around my shoulders and depending on the supermarket just stood in an out of the way spot and fed.

I absolutely adore the sound of a new baby crying.
If you saw me in a supermarket you might think I was judging you. I'm not. I'm fondly remembering my babies and feeling for you, knowing how panicked you feel when the baby needs a feed while you are in the queue.

I am absolutely NOT a baby person...no kids (not by choice) and not distressed by being childless and even i look and feel concerned when i hear a baby crying. I think humans are hard wired to do it. I also think they aren't annoyed or judging you, they are just reacting with concern to the cry.

My baby was a very screamy baby (had silent reflux and a milk allergy). Sometimes going out was fine, but other times she'd scream blue murder and I felt like everyone was watching. To be fair sometimes they were as she was just so bloody loud and it wasn't a cry, but a scream. Often people offered some kind of assistance eg a lady tried to play her peppa pig on a packed train, a lady insisted on me sitting down and went and got me a cup of tea, someone packed my shopping at the checkout, a man demanded someone get out of their train seat so I could sit down while attempting to soothe with breastfeeding standing up. My point is, while I found some situations stressful (the train ones were awful), everyone was actually very nice and sympathetic. No one ever told me I should be out with my extremely loud baby.

Newborn cries are different to older babies/ toddler crying. You can hear it's a tiny baby from the way they sound. If people are looking it's likely they just want to look because tiny babies are very cute.

It would depend why DD was crying. I’d feed her before I went out. We would often last until the last 2 aisles of the supermarket. No way I could push the trolley and feed. So I just kept going. I knew she would be hungry and I could feed her once I got to the car. (I also wore her in a carrier around the shop and found she was more settled).

the more you get out the easier it gets. Start with something small even just a walk for 30 minutes and build up your confidence.

a baby will cry, but there’s a lot of other noises while you’re out and about that it doesn’t seem as loud as just the two of you at home.

Anyone who's ever been a parent will understand and sympathise. A dummy or a nipple / bottle is the first line of comfort.

Remember that second babies are often left to cry for longer - because if you have to get DC1 to school / nursery / ballet class on time, DC2 is just gonna have to cry until you're there. (And that second babies often end up better balanced, calmer individuals!)

Boob and shopping for groceries online!

If I saw you I would look at you and smile in the spirit of solidarity as I have been there, as have many women. No-one will judge you.

Bring a sling or a carrier and put them in it.

If breastfeeding, breastfeed

I found this so scary with my first - like crying in a supermarket etc what do you do? It was always soothed by a feed. But it was lockdown and there was no cafe to go to in the supermarket for example. This time around I'm thinking of each scenario and what I will do as I found the crying and everyone looking so stressful! But what I will say is even peak horrible tension in shops caused by masks etc, people were so so kind. Mine SCREAMED in Waitrose and no less than 3 members of staff came to ask what I wanted and could they fetch me things to help - and were so apologetic they had no where for me to sit. With this next baby I will just try to remember I can take my time - I will either pay if I'm nearly done or head to the cafe bit and park my trolley outside it to finish later. Or usually there's a bench type thing near the check outs or toilets so I will go there.

If you're at the till then I'd leave a minute or two to pay.
Otherwise, you will just get stressed by baby crying and they won't stop until you comfort them.
Do you have a sling or carrier? They are a godsend for shopping. Also, scan as you shop where available. Make it easy on yourself, especially in these early days

Newborns are a lot easier to deal with than toddler tantrums, newborns will be after something, milk, dummy wet nappy etc. you'll be surprised how sympathetic people can be.

Newborns are easy at least they are crying for a logical reason. Toddler tantrums are a whole different issue - crying because you put their beloved banana peel in the bin? Eating an apple and upset it has a bite in it? Okkkk

I can’t speak for everyone but for me it was:

Baby cries , pop out the boob !!

DH and I were in Sainsburys this weekend with a father asking his two older children to choose anything they wanted from the ice cream section while his baby was having a full blown meltdown. We felt nothing but sympathy for him. As a baby I think everyone knows they cry. It's no judgement of your parenting skills.

I just breastfeed. Standing up in the middle of the veg aisle if required.

So my baby is 7 weeks old and the GP recently diagnosed her with colic at a routine appointment for something else, but where she would not stop screaming and crying inconsolably, the whole waiting room was watching me, people glancing over with sympathetic looks as I tried every trick in the book to shhh her and soothe her but nothing worked. GP took one look at her and said she's got colic. I was relieved a medical professional diagnosed her with it and witnessed her crying as EVERYONE I spoke to about her inconsolable crying told me it must be because she was hungry/tired/needed a nappy change, yet following a process of elimination she would still cry for hours on end particularly on an evening but also sometimes in an afternoon, even when we are out and about. Not a 'normal' cry either but a high pitched, deafening scream.

Nothing worked to soothe her. I felt embarrassed, ashamed I couldn't help her, people in the supermarket would look over as if to say 'why can't her mum calm her down' and especially in the first month I felt an absolute failure. It made me not want to leave the house.

However, it never stopped me going out with her, I made sure I got out and about, walks in the fresh air did us both the world of good. If she kicked off in front of people I just ignored the looks. Some people try to offer advice and help when she cries which I know is with good intention.

Most newborns cry for a reason i.e nappy change, feed, cold, overtired etc.

However if your baby fusses, screams, cries and cannot be soothed it could be colic. I've recently changed her milk to comfort milk and got some colief drops, she is MUCH better.

All I would say is try not to worry what other people think, the more you go out the less you will worry about it and the more you confidence will grow. As your baby gets older you'll learn their cues and be able to act before it gets to the crying/screaming stage.