I had some brilliant advice here a few weeks ago about my DD (9) who can be explosive when frustrated - as a result we are getting on better and she is responding to frustration in a more moderate way rather than shouting. Not 100% but getting there.
BUT I am wondering about something. We are still getting a big and prolonged emotional response (crying, recriminations) to being told no, or being compelled to do something she doesn’t want to do. I don’t think it’s a sensory/meltdown type thing, because the exact same activities would have the opposite response if they were more fun (eg if friends were going). So for example if we say we’re going to the supermarket and she doesn’t want to go, she will cry and complain before we leave, while we’re there and will probably not stop having a go at me until we get home. She has always been like this to some degree. I would think she was just spoilt but we are not particularly permissive parents and our other kid doesn’t do this. Our younger dd will complain for five minutes and then get over it, which I consider more ‘normal’ behaviour.
My usual response is to start with empathy and then I get fed up and ask her to stop complaining (which she doesn’t), then ignore.
Help! Is there something I’m doing wrong or her behaviour due to rigid thinking that’s not her fault?