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Original poster

I HATE being a mum

28 replies

Firsttimemumproblems · 09/08/2022 07:07

Nc for this because I am ashamed of how I feel.
Disclaimer: I love my son very much and would do anything for him
BUT I hate being a mum. He’s 6 months old and it is not getting easier like everyone told me it would. I find it very repetitive and boring. And the worst part is the stress it’s causing me.
Before I had him I was always described by my friends as the ‘chilled’ ‘laid-backed’ one. But since having him I can’t be myself. I can’t just chill and go with the flow. I have to stick to routines/schedules/timings. Sleep is the worst. Everytime he wakes up from a nap I’m thinking ‘okay X amount of minutes until your next one.’ I feel like I can never fully relax because I’m always on edge.
I am a single mum so I’m not sure if that has made it harder, although he stays one night at his dad a week (which does take the stress off a bit but then I’m still stressed about him when he’s not with me, wondering if he has had enough sleep and food.)
I just don’t feel like myself at all. Haven’t done since the day I gave birth. Feel like I’m in survival mode all the time and can never catch a break. I don’t resent my son at all, like I said earlier I do love him a lot. But being a mother is nothing like I imagined and I can’t help but wish for my old life back.
Has anyone felt like this after having a baby? Did it last forever?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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SkyBlue20 · 10/08/2022 09:27

This! My DD is 17m now and even though there are challenges and still some bad days, I’m enjoying it so much more than the first year - I recognise so much of what you’ve written, OP, from when I was there. It will get better, maybe the baby stage just isn’t for you - it wasn’t for me, I found it mind-numbing a lot of the time and I really struggled, I wished a lot of the time away. My little girl has a real personality now and there’s nothing better than when she shouts ‘mummy’ and comes running to me for a cuddle 🥰

SkyBlue20 · 10/08/2022 09:28

Sorry, that was meant to quote @DreamingofItaly2023’s post, not sure why it didn’t quite work!

MumThyme · 09/09/2022 16:44

Tigerstigers · 09/08/2022 09:11

That first year is just hell op. Some people just adore babies, and some (like me) really don't! And it does depend on the baby. Mine were grizzly, rarely content, sicky, miserable, and didn't nap well, I gave up on routines and sleep schedules as it just stressed me out further. My friend has recently had a baby and he's so chilled out and happy, and she thoroughly enjoys it, and I will happily sit cuddling him all day, and spending time with him, as it's a joy. With my own it just seemed a relentless cycle of crying, overtired, but not sleeping, shit. I feel maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I'd had easier babies. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, they do get easier, maybe not overnight at 6 months, but by the time he's a year old, at some point, these days will be behind you, and they're so much more enjoyable when you can start teaching them about the world and getting some actual interaction and communication back. Mine are now 8 and 6, and absolutely brilliant, entertain themselves for hours on end, and are such fun to be around. I really miss the toddler/preschool stage as I loved spending all day with them without having the time of school. But when they were babies, I genuinely thought I'd never enjoy being a parent.

Sorry to hop on thread but I feel exactly the same. I hate my life so much right now and it's not getting better yet. My 8 month old is rarely happy and I try so hard. He sleeps through the night but only with me so some would say Im lucky. But I'm lucky if I get 2 40 minute naps a day, they are usually 20 minutes or less and I'm usually fighting to get him to sleep even though he is definitely tired, this has gone on since after the super early weeks. Most I talk to have babies that just go down for 2 hour naps 3 times a day....like wtf, I would kill for some time that to myself, I cant even imagine what I would do. I also work part time in a very very busy workplace, I thought it would help getting a break from him but it's not made it easier.

He tends to only be happy round lots of other babies and I'm so tired of social interaction...I feel like my face is constantly scowling with unhappiness. His teething lots and has also started to get intense separation anxiety.

But this post has given me hope. I can't wait for real interaction and hope he is happier then. I thought I would love it but I don't.

Thank you, I'm sad that other mums also go through this.

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