DD (14) called me an imbecile

[adriftabroad]

Normally well behaved, just us, get on really well.

This was so rude. wwyd?

(I asked her for the nth time to empty the dishwasher, 12 weeks holiday)

Remember it but don’t be hard on yourself. Single parenting is really hard. Parenting a 14 year old can be insanely hard (I have 2. My hair is greying…)! You’re doing great 😊

I guess the first thing is to look after yourself as this kind of thing is pretty triggering when it cuts across the relationship you thought you had.
Then you can look to reconnect and meet her where she is, as she may also feel disconnected and alone. Perhaps say "it sounds like you're having a hard time and you feel like I'm not on your side, do you want to tell me about it?" And just see what comes up that she needs to express.
It does sound really tough so take care.

I have a 14 year old DS.
Food is only delivered to his room if he is ill. I would stop doing that that for her now unless she is ill.
Insulting language is challenged and if it carried on, phone would be removed. I’ve done it for a weekend for a different type of bad behaviour.
Basically you have to remember you are their parent not their mate. Teenage boundary pushing is normal but needs to be challenged. Stay calm but firm.