Park play area etiquette

[Spinfit]

Hi, just wanted some advice from other parents - my son is 16 months and very sociable. On my WFH days I try and take him to the park and today there were quite a few toddlers with parents/carers. He likes to approach other similar aged children and babble or smile. I usually guide him away in case he reaches out or something and the parents get annoyed. I personally don't have an issue with other toddlers playing with him as long as he is comfortable which he usually is, but once when he was in his push chair, a little girl came over and started stroking his hand and her mother pulled her away and apologised profusely. I didnt think it was an issue (he just looked curious) but her reaction made me think some people don't like that sort of thing. The nursery is very happy with his social interactions and sharing etc but I don't want to upset anyone or stress him out.

It's a bit of a tricky one isn't it because everyone parents differently and covid has made things 100 times more awkward, as some families are still very cautious.

With my DS (18 Months old) I let him go over to other children to be social at the park or during toddler groups, etc but I'm always close by to help him navigate the situation if he gets a bit grabby / too hands on.

I'll also always try and engage in conversation with the parent(s) to try and make it less awkward too. You can also get a gauge for other people once you get them talking I find and helps me then navigate my toddler through the situation and whether to let them continue playing or steer him away to another area of the park.

I don't think there is an etiquette to always go by, it'll be very much on a play by ear basis I feel. If you're happy for your child to be social then I'd say let them and encourage it, but help them move onto something else if the other party doesn't seem keen.

I think it depends, she may still be worried about covid, she may think your still worried about covid, doesn't want germs to be passed on etc. there's been plenty of threads about people (children, adults) touching your child without permission, list could go on.

No etiquette round my area really, I let my son go off and talk to other children play with them etc and stay close by so if I can see a child isn't interested I will move him onto something else. I make sure he's waiting his turn etc.

Your son sounds a happy little boy and I would still encourage the social side of the park as it's good for them.

Like most things, some won't care, some will (applies to adults and children!) Be on hand to ask if it's OK and redirect swiftly if not. DD 2.5 is going through a phase of hating other children anywhere near where she wants to play unless she knows them. Obviously I make it clear to her that they're perfectly entitled to play there too but she has been known to shout 'No baby! Don't touch me!' if they're actually touching her. (On other days she's commandeering toddlers to hold hands with her down the slide so I'm fairly sure she isn't a sociopath - and of course I always watch to make sure they want to do it too)

I think a short interaction is fine, but i do find it annoying when other children 'outstay their welcome' if that makes sense. Depends also how my DD responds

Gosh this was my DS around the same age. I used to find it really awkward because he would want to go and insinuate himself into other family groups, and then scream when I dragged him away. This was particularly awkward during COVID. It was awful because he just wanted to play and be sociable.

Thankfully at 4 he's grown out of it!

Thank you. Very helpful! I havent been to this particular play area before and I'm fairly introverted so I will smile at other parents if their children seem to want to play with my son to let them know it's okay. The area we live in is a little bit cliquey so it is difficult to chat to other parents if you're not a regular attender (if that makes sense). I'll just continue to be around just in case I think another child/parent doesn't like it.

From that age onwards, I encouraged my child to play with children of a similar age if the parents seemed OK with it but gently redirected DC away from older children. Now DC is 4, I still do this unless the older children are clearly OK to play with a younger one (which some of them are). Older children don't usually want younger ones following them round and, in your DS's case, may play too boisterously anyway.

I've never really had problems with my child wanting to play with children their own age or younger who didn't want to play in return (they lack the allure of older children 😄). DC has a kind of radar for kids who want to run around and be silly in the same way that they do and tends to ignore children who aren't keen on interacting. So it's something that your DS may pick up quickly anyway with a bit more social interaction. But if not, I would gently redirect away from those children... teaching children to respect others' personal space is important.