Weaning

[loopylum]

Hi all,

DS is 15 months old (1 year corrected). We've been weaning since 4 months corrected and I still find meal times so stressful.

DS won't let you put a spoon near his mouth unless he is distracted at the moment. Sometimes he will tolerate a couple of spoonfuls but then will whack the spoon out of my hand.

He's got more restrictive with finger foods as well - he used to at least touch the wet things (banana avocado etc) but now he cries if we put them in front of him. He would eat melty sticks or similar dry snacks until the cows come home.

He is seen by SLT and dietician but they don't have any advice, just say that he's got age appropriate oromotor skills and not to give foods unsuitable for over his corrected age.

He started childminder this week and I thought maybe they might have some luck but they still struggle.

He's a wonderful little boy and I feel bad for getting so anxious about mealtimes! He does have high calorie prescription milk (we are going to slowly wean onto cows milk once he's settled at CM) which I think affects his motivation for foods as its not as filling.

Does anyone have tips?

You can't compete with junk food, so as long as you are giving baby junk, you will struggle to bring him to a normal diet.
Melty sticks are corn flour and oil, just like Doritos, Cheetos, ...and the dried veggie powder bring the saltiness.
They are edible, but that's not food.

You are overthinking the wet / dry / spoon thing. He has developed his taste preference around processed food. Try to recreate the combination of carb+fat+salt and if he doesn't like the spoon, offer a preloaded baby fork.

If you can , do not give ANYTHING but water two hours prior to his meals. Not even a bit of apple or carrot. Nothing. An empty stomach will secrete hormones and enzymes to stimulate appetite. A single bite can cut this circuit. No juice, no milk, nothing but water.

Have him nearby on his highchair or if safe top do so, on the kitchen with you, have him help you by handing him a wooden spoon and empty plastic ball, have him there for all the time. So he can watch the food, listen to the sizzling pan, smell the onion cooking and then touch it and taste it.

Take your meals with him sitting next to you.

Do not the snacky food again.

He doesn't tolerate being in his high chair for long enough for us to cook and feed him a meal though? Either me or my husband plays with him and the other cooks dinner. He likes to move around.

When we don't give melty sticks/ similar he will often not eat anything in a day other than milk. He's on the 4th centile so I don't feel comfortable restricting milk and food too much. We up the calories by adding mashed food or purees as directed by his dietician.

Melty sticks are corn flour and oil, just like Doritos, Cheetos, ...and the dried veggie powder bring the saltiness.
They are edible, but that's not food.

I wouldn’t go as far as that - but like any other type of crisp they are very moorish and kids will obviously eat them over a meal given the chance any time.

I agree, throw out the processed snacks. Not because it’s not food as such, but because I think they definitely disrupt children’s ability and willingness to enjoy and try healthier unprocessed foods. As pp said, to a child it’s no competition. Processed snacks will win every time. So don’t let them enter the competition if you want your meals to win.

So what if he won't eat anything other than milk in a day? What do I do then?
As this is what happens some days when we don't offer these kind of dry snacks, especially if he is teething etc.

I don't really want to go back to him only having formula tbh.

Of course he likes to move around. He is a toddler. So you need to interest him.

If you are scared to drop the baby junk, at least, wait two hours for an empty stomach , because otherwise you will never be able to get out of this hole. Did he ever have an empty stomach for two hours?

Melty puff, stick are highly addictive. Who would give up Cheetos or Doritos in favour of broccoli?
You need to change what you are giving him, otherwise the next step, will be upgrading from bay junk to toddler junk.

Try to make a cheesy risotto, a focaccia, foods that reproduce the ratio of carbs+fat+salt
try to make your own rice-cakes with overcooked rice blended with spinach , make small ball, flatten them and cook them in the oven.
Roast slices of pumpkin, brushed with olive oil, and the tinies sprinkle of salt.

Try to use a fork, preloaded, make it a game to stab a piece of "real food" be it a piece of sole cooked in butter, a strawberry, ...

How does he react if you all sit and eat a meal together & what he has on his plate is the same as you both?

You don’t spoon it to him or make any other fuss just pop it in front & get on with eating yours, he might ignore it at first but eventually he might just start picking up and eating things

Like PP I generally avoid giving artificial snacks but very much did BLW and just gave DC a tiny portion of whatever we are having

Good luck

Regardless of age corrected is he showing signs of readiness? I.e. 1. Sits up confidently 2. Can bring things to his mouth 3. Shows interest in food or what you are eating as a family.

Honestly if he's not ticking those three boxes then give it some time and try again or you may foster a negative association with food. Do you bring him to the table at meal times so he can watch you eat as a family?

I cannot recommend Solid Stats enough, their website and app, and follow them on Instagram if you have it. There is so much good quality free resource about this sort of thing. An example is if baby will not touch food, try putting it between your teeth and offering it from your mouth. Sounds crazy but it works! And even if they don't eat it, touching it is a step forward, then exploring it with their hands and that exploration will eventually lead to tasting if you don't pressure them into it.

Honestly don't stress yet if he's only 4 months corrected then perhaps he's just not ready.

Also to touch on the snack food discussion above, there's no nutritional value in those wafers and melty sticks so really a day of him only having milk is not wildly different to him only having milk and those, calorie wise. So I wouldn't stress about him not having them. I'd also support having him in the kitchen to see you prepare food and see you eat food at the table. You mention he doesn't tolerate the high chair well, is that because he's not confident sitting up? In which case would support my theory that he's not quite ready yet.

Good luck OP

Sorry that should have said Solid Starts

He's 1 year corrected

Sorry, posted too soon

He's 1 year corrected.

We add food to the end of the melty sticks (mashed or puree type) and he will eat this.

Oh dear I've just seen he is one year corrected - so ignore comments about him not being ready of course he is!! Can I still blame mum brain? 😂 Check out Solid Starts, will definitely help.

His SLT has advised he can handle food that is fork mashable (or bite and melt) in line with his corrected age so we do

• curries/casseroles/stews with meat or fish and lots of well cooked soft veggies,
• flaked fish in sauce,
• blended pasta with meat or fish sauces,
• thick porridge

For finger foods we offer

• well cooked soft veggies
• well buttered toast
• soft fruits
• scrambled eggs

So suggestions of food similar to these types of consistency would be helpful as he will only eat toast from list of finger foods we offer, and will only have a few spoonfuls unless distracted of the top list.

solidstarts.com/baby-led-weaning/troubleshooting/

Okay so we've been following all the tips above as far as possible and still having no luck. However he will now touch avocado banana etc to throw it on the floor. He's also stopped eating toast.

He will eat foods spooned to him whilst watching a video on our phones. Any attempt to offer food on a spoon without this distraction ends up in tears, with the spoon on the floor. If we give him the spoon he throws it on the floor.

He will eat homemade fruit yoghurt and smoothies, but only directly from the reusable pouch.

Any further tips would be well appreciated. I'm getting really down as it feels like he's not even engaging in mealtimes at the moment.

Have you tried him with wheatbix Mashed up with milk then in microwave for 30 seconds or some toast or some porridge? Maybe best trying to sort out 1 meal first like breakfast or dinner then when he's happy and confident in eating one meal a day go from there and add another? Hope you get it sorted you must be worried but he'll get there x

He used to eat 2 meals a day, porridge for breakfast and a puree for dinner but following some really bad teething in June he's just got more and more restrictive

Don't put him in a highchair until the dinner is ready and on the plate. Give him a spoon and allow him to try to feed himself.

At 15 months, he should be having 3 meals a day, of proper food. It could be:

Weetabix/porridge/scrambled egg and bread and butter

pasta with cheese melted into it, peas, broccoli/sandwich of ham or cheese, then apple/banana/pear/rice pudding

Mashed potato, fish/chicken, carrots/sweetcorn/green beans

What do you do when he throws the spoon on the floor? He's 12 months corrected.

For finger food have you tried omelette cut into strips? My 9mo loves it and I put all sorts of veg in there, diced really small.

For breakfast we do Weetabix with milk or natural yoghurt, porridge or mashed banana on toast. Lunch is omelette, or toast fingers with cream cheese or mashed banana, fruit, natural yoghurt. Dinner is blended pasta with veggie sauce, blended sweet potato chickpea curry, lentil bolognese etc (we're veggie).

My LO also loves those melty puffs, breadsticks, rice cakes etc and I do often end up giving them to her to keep her going whilst I cook - DH is always working so she has to go in the highchair. It doesn't seem to ruin her appetite but she'd definitely eat loads of them if I let her!

Yes, he ate omelette twice and enjoyed it but after 2 times stopped eating it. We've tried giving scrambled eggs but he throws it.

Does anyone know where I might be able to get professional support with his eating? I appreciate the suggestions of meals but we have tried so many different things; if he won't let me put it in his mouth, or put it in his own mouth (homemade, made by someone else, finger foods, pouch food) unless it's a dry crispy type food, it doesn't really matter what I'm feeding him.

I'm more looking for suggestions as to how to feed him. He and I both get stressed the second he's in his high chair, but we want to eat at the table as a family so how do we get around this?

I had to walk away from dinner today as I got so sad that he was just like a zombie, watching a video on my husband's phone and not engaging with the meal at all, barely opening his mouth and not even looking at the spoon. We had been trying for 20 mins to feed him 1 spoonful of homemade spaghetti bolognese, or a piece of avocado, a piece of cake, a cracker with bolognese sauce on it and he didn't want to eat anything.

DD wasn't premature but I could have written this around a year old. She would eat yoghurt, sometimes a bit of toast, melty sticks and that was it. Like you we were reluctant to stop the formula when she ate so little and took her to see every person we thought could help imaginable and nothing changed. We reluctantly halved the amount of formula she got, restricted melty sticks to one offering a day and just kept offering anything. We were specifically told by a dietician to offer anything and everything we ate when she was there. Cake, biscuits, our usual meals, stop preparing stuff for her and just give her whatever we were having, make no fuss as to whether she eats it or not.

It went against absolutely everything I had read, and believed we should be doing in terms of weaning and was convinced I'd have a child who ate only biscuits but we gave it a go. It did absolutely nothing for about 2 months, and then gradually, so gradual we almost didn't notice, more and more food was consumed. Some days that may be a banana, and the next it may have been some cake, but she got in the habit of putting food in her mouth and eating it and slowly the repertoire increased. Some days she just had her milk and that was that. She's still fussier than I would like (although she is probably a typical 3 year old in that regard!) But would pick fruit over crisps now and loves rice or noodles but hates chips, so melty sticks and cake clearly haven't done her any harm!!

Big hugs to you, I remember so clearly pulling my hair out but it is true what they say, division of responsibilities and you choosing the food and them picking whether to eat it will work when they're ready to eat!

As suggested above check out solidstarts on instagram or their website. They have resources/courses you can purchase which cover your exact scenario, the ceo founded the company because this happened to her son. If you cannot afford the courses you can email them and they will give them to you for free.

At 12 months a toddler should be eating normal family meals, assuming they have a good swallow and oral motor skills which from you’ve said it sounds like they do. Most toddlers do not want to bed spoon fed (some babies even from 6 months don’t like this).

if I were you I would just stop the solids for a few days to give him and yourself a break, a few days of just formula is fine. Then start again following the solid starts guidance.

Hi OP, this sounds so stressful for you. I'm so sorry. Could you look up ARFID? My little boy developed this at two years old. He's three now and under the care of dieticians. We basically just feed him anything he'll eat and have settled into a steady rhythm of plain, predictable food.

I also just wanted to say that in no way is this your fault, nothing you are doing caused this. These pesky babies have minds of their own and strong wills

We have a travel booster seat that clips onto a chair, do you think he might like to be actually at the table with you? If the highchair is really stressful then any change might help!