Not the piss troll, I'm completely out of ideas and genuinely worried for my daughter.
Dd is now 5 (just). We had a hard time potty training and it took 3 goes to work. She stopped having accidents overnight on her own very quickly after that. Since then she's been quite sporadic with her potty training in that she will sometimes have no accidents (less likely at home) and other days have several accidents a day.
She does withhold poo and I spoke to the health visitor about this, read the Eric website front to back, and spoke to the GP about movicol. This did help somewhat with her going for a poo but the wee accidents have continued. She does it almost every day at school and hardly at home so I thought maybe it was a school thing as it started a while after starting (she was brilliant at nursery). At one point the teachers suggested she was doing it on purpose to get out of tidy up time but then conceded that she actually probably had a medical problem (this was when she was really constipated) as she was wetting herself just after having gone to the toilet and at different times a day. They were getting her to go to the toilet every hour. We've tried charts, we've tried giving her a lolly at the end of the school day if she doesn't do one. We've tried bigger toys etc after getting x amount of days with no accidents. We've tried ignoring it.
However this has continued in to the summer holidays and I'm just wondering where the hell i went so wrong!!
I haven't given her any movicol since the heatwave as I was concerned about her being dehydrated but I will be going back to giving her 1-2 a day.
To today: Just now she was outside with dh who was playing football with her, he said 'do you need the toilet?' She said no. He said 'dd go to the toilet please' and she said 'I don't need the toilet!' And then proceeded to wet herself. I know we need to rephrase things instead of asking her but even when you tell her to go she will still argue (while jiggling about) that she absolutely does not need to go. There is definitely an element of not wanting to miss out on things, but she even does it when just sitting on the sofa or doing boring stuff.
I just reached the end of my tether and I really just don't know what to do - I'm out of ideas. I've started a new chart. I've had a big chat with her about it and i said how it can't feel very nice to have accidents all the time and she said 'no, I still feel happy!' I said yes but it's all wet and smelly and she said 'yes, but I'm still happy!' She agreed to a chart, and agreed to going to the toilet every hour even if she doesn't 'feel it' and that she wouldn't argue with us about it. I told her I didn't want her to smell of wee all the time.
She's going in to year 1 in September and I'm terrified she's going to be the pissy kid!
Some disclaimers:
I am 36 weeks pregnant tomorrow however this has been going on WAY before the pregnancy so I don't think I can blame the pregnancy for it although it may be a contributing factor now?
She does not enjoy school particularly, or at least says she doesn't want to go to school until she gets there, then she's fine. She doesn't like the 'academic' side of school - ie she doesn't like doing phonics. But loves the creative side of it.
She is a really confident kid, hardly ever anxious, but not forced to be confident - she surprises me all the time with how bold she is.
I don't shame her at all because I had experiences with my own mother shouting in my face and making me wear a nappy and sending me to bed when I had an accident - I am unsure how old I was but I remember it clearly so must have been old enough and now im an adult I can be pretty certain I had uti's a lot with no treatment and i am embarrassed to this day about her doing this to me. So I am really aware of making dd feel bad about herself or embarrassing her.