Helping 5 year old - suspected dyslexia and dyspraxia

[WishingWell5]

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice or experience with ways to help a young child with development and school who has suspected dyslexia and dyspraxia?. I have spoken to a few professionals who agree it sounds like both of these, but that it's too early to test.

He struggles with and really dislikes school. He is a very quiet and sensitive boy, very much not seen or heard at school. Very shy but does have friends and I make a big effort with school meet ups and 'play days' to try to help with this.

He struggles with reading, writing (mirror image etc), short term memory (but excellent long term), remembering sequences, physical activity (eg climbing, cannot catch, ride a bike etc).

He loves mark making (in his own way), has a huge imagination, is super sensitive, kind and caring (eg to baby sister) and absolutely loves praise or making people laugh. I think he might do better with numbers and languages, although it's hard to tell at this age.

I don't push him to do anything much at home, for example, only started doing homework reading in the latter part of reception because he wasn't ready and I didn't want to put him off school and learning.

I think a big issue with school is getting overwhelmed- too much noise and stimulation. He needs space and quiet. If he can't do something first time he loses interest. He us uncomfortable with physical touch or contact with anyone but close family. He also is very close to myself (mum) likes to 'check in' periodically and I think struggles to be away for a whole day. He says he feels like crying all the time at school. But he always goes in no trouble or fight and tries his best.

If anyone has any advice I would be most grateful. It's hard to explain in words but I know he sees the world a little differently, and I want to help him be the best he can be. I'd love him to be happy going to school and mixing with other children. I have spoken with the school who just nod a long and say maybe it's something or maybe it's not.

Thanks for reading if you got this far

Just to add, other things include difficulty getting dressed, eating himself, extreme sensory issues (food, medicine). A lot of tantrums and meltdowns (but only with me) and most of the time is the funniest and sweetest kid. Although very intense and strong willed. Thank you.

I am a reception teacher. Have you had any involvement from your local authority’s special educational needs and inclusion team ? Have the school made any adjustments to his day or additional provisional? Does he have an individual provision plan ? Request a meeting and push for reasonable adjustments to help support him in school . Things like timetabled quiet time so he doesn’t get overwhelmed with the environment . Sensory circuits to support his physical needs. Visual timetable to so he can understand the structure of his day and when home time is . To name but a few !

Thank you so much, this is really helpful. I think I need to be more pushy and proactive. I think the quiet time especially would really help.

I spent about 30 minutes speaking to his teacher at the end of the school year, listing these and many other concerns/ observations, and heard nothing since. I also mentioned it to other people (including a friend who is a teacher) who implied I was being silly/ over reacting and should just let him settle in his own time. But I've had a bit of free time the last few weeks and after doing a lot of research I don't think I am being crazy or over the top!

I would also be questioning ASD given the issues with food and meltdowns with you (coke bottle effect) and getting overwhelmed at school. There's a major overlap between all the neurodevelopmental conditions in any event (why some argue "neurodiverse" is more useful.)

Because he's 5 though you are probably going to have to go through ed psych and CAMHS (under 5s often go through paediatricians).

I would be asking for a meeting with the SENCO when you get back. I would suggest an educational psychologist would be your best starting point (if you can afford to go private that will speed things up), going into school and seeing him. Then once that's been done they will recommend. It's 7 for dyslexia assessment, all the others can be assessed for now.

OP there's an SN children's board as well. Lots of us in the same position.

OP, I would seek an Ed Psych or a Specialist Teacher review if you can over the summer. Sadly the system is overloaded and at 5 you child is not going to get the support they need - primary support is targeted towards those who simply cannot cope in school (your boy is too compliant and not causing trouble so is not priority) and if there are resources left those approaching yr6 ready for SATs which is too long to wait for the poor kid.

My DD now 13 had just been formally diagnosed with some of what you have listed as well as still awaiting diagnosis of other bits - despite concerns being raised and her being under paediatrics since she was 21months old. Her schooling and socialisation has been wrecked because of it and it is only now we are beginning ning to get to the bottom of things that things are starting to work out for her - however her anxiety is massive and other things way behind as a result.

The world of SEN is massive, time consuming and complicated. And you will have to fight for your kid every step of the way. . There are some fantastic support groups here on the SEN boards and elsewhere through specific diagnosis based organisations. Make use of them they will save you time and explain things that your son is unable to put into words just yet.

What has helped my daughter immensely is getting involved in out of school stuff where she can be herself without having to be told she's different all the time. For her this is swimming, trampolining and GirlGuiding. 2 individual sports which don't require ball control that give her the adrenaline 'feel good' rush without the need for perfection. And Guiding because yes at 5 it was the girls in her class at school but now at 13, there's very few who have stuck with it so she's with a wider group of girls and has gone off on county wide events by herself so there are no expectations on her - she can be who she wants to be.

Sorry that was a rant... Good luck and take care of you too. It can be rough being the safe space of a scared and confused child!

Thank you @LillyDeValley for your response. I think you are right. I am looking for an educational psychologist at the moment, I think if I find someone who will be willing I'll get the tests I can myself as I don't know if I have the fight in me right at this moment. I know it's costly but I think going to the school with an expert's opinion as back up would be helpful. I am finding even that is difficult as so many are saying they have no room for new clients!!

Oh thank you, I will check out the board.

Dd aged 11 has dyspraxia and boxing and Brazilian juijitsu have been life changing for her coordination, along with football.

Riding a bike was tough but she did it her own way at her own pace

Special cutlery and stationary really helps too

@LittleOwl153 thank you for sharing your experiences and I'm sorry for the rough ride you have had with it all. It seems to be a severely miss understood and under funded area. It shouldn't be that you have to fight and fight for it... I really don't understand much myself, and need to do a lot more reading, talking and learning. I will take a look into your suggestions.

Thank you for the advice and perspectives! I will be following up with everything suggested.

Thanks @bjjgirl my OH suggested a martial art. I think it's a good idea as he gets pushed around a lot by the boys at school and severely lacks confidence to stand up for himself (I feel that his 'friends' are verging on bullies at times - I don't think the teachers are aware of this).

I don't push the bike. He hates anything he feels he isn't 'good' at! I am sure he will get there in his own time. Thanks for sharing!

@WishingWell5 where are you in the country? My advice is go on every waitlist at the moment and say you are happy to be contacted about cancellations. A friend recently got an ADHD assessment at short notice, because a cancellation occurred (COVID) and my friend could be there in 1/2 hours notice.

We are in the SW @LillyDeValley

I was going to say if you can get to London a lot of the providers have quicker availability. I’m in SE and a lot of “local providers” have long wait lists, but we found London providers (all of them are linked to London nhs hospitals) have been able to see us quicker. You could also go down the paediatrician/neurologist specialising in neurodevelopmental disorders if you want to get the ball rolling quicker.

For the Dyslexia try different colours of background and text to see if that helps him. One of my friends found having yellow paper with black text made seeing the letters much easier. Also things like having a ruler to hand to place under a line of text to make it easier to follow. She said that the words would look like they were moving on the page and having a static line to place under the words stopped them moving.

I have a dyspraxic DC. At this age a combination of work on fine and gross motor skills in a fun way would be good. A martial art for the gross skills and some fun arty activities for fine skills. DC used to practice picking up beads/dried beans with a pair of plastic tweezers against a timer. Also as scissors were an issue we used to gettthem to cut coloured paper into squares and make mosaic pictures. A lot of the time we did activities focussed on fine motor skills without their knowing that was the objective as I didn't want their confidence knocked. Once they are a little older you could look at a musical instrument as that is great for motor skills. DC is now a scholar at music college so it hasn't done them any harm in the long run!

Thanks @FatAgainItsLettuceTime and @londonmummy1966 some really great tips! I'll have a go. I don't think I'm the best teacher with helping him, I really need to work at it. I think I was so different myself as I child (I could read well before school) and so it's all new to me. I need parenting lessons!

My friend took her child to the INPP in Chester and saw really massive changes: www.inpp.org.uk/ They have a free online questionnaire to give you an initial idea of whether it's suitable.

Thanks @LillyDeValley I'm going to have a ring round some places/ people today!

My ds1 has dyslexia, dyspraxia and aty

Sorry pressed send by accident!

So DS1 has dyslexia, dyspraxia and atypical autism. DS2 has dyspraxia and ADHD.

The best person we spoke to was an occupational therapist. They did an assessment and then gave suggestions on how to help,

After the assessment we were referred to the paediatrician who made the diagnosis based on OTs assessment. The paediatrician then made other referrals for the autism assessment.

Unfortunately ds2 was older so we have to go through CAMHS which is a nightmare!

In our area the education authority won't diagnose dyslexia. We paid privately for this.

I personally would go down both paths - GP for dyspraxia and school for dyslexia.

I just returned from an assessment for my 7year old DD for dyspraxia. Not too early to assess! We haven't got the results yet, but the assessment was through Dyspraxia UK and was carried out by an O.T. I had to pay privately for it, but they have a helpful questionnaire on the website which helps to indicate if your child may need an assessment (it sounds like your child would meet the criteria for one). Hope this helps xx

www.nessy.com/en-gb