Please help. 6 month old will not sleep

[SpartanFrase]

Hey all! I've been googling like a mad man and I need some real person help.

My little girl is just over 6 months and has suddenly reverted into horrifically bad sleeping. Bordering on no sleep at all. She was so good and suddenly out of nowhere its back to square one.

Let me give you the lowdown:

We have just returned from 2 weeks with the family. It was a 6 hour car journey so I suspect that may be something of note regarding her.
Her routine is solid as far as we are aware. 5pm baby led weaning followed by breast 30 mins later.
6pm bathtime
7pm onwards bedtime. Or screamtime

Her room has blackout blinds + curtains + heat reflective tape on the glass. White noise machine. Temperature and humidity sensor.
Mattress is good, new and crib is age appropriate

We've tried letting her cry it out for 5 mins. 10 mins. 20 mins. She is just in a FIT of hysterics the entire time. Will not settle for more than 20 minutes if she even goes down. The crying to ear splitting and constant. 0 evidence of her settling herself

I work and am in the military so will be deploying soon. I'm beyond worried about leaving my wife to deal with this alone. I'm absolutely on my knees begging, pleading for some help!

Sounds awful. How long has this been going on?

We tried my son in own room at 6mo and had to suddenly revert to bedsharing and often had to be in physical contact. (having never needed to before. He had mainly slept in his co sleeper cot)

At 7mo he went in his own room without issue and slept amazingly well. It was just a rough phase.

Have you any concerns around allergies? Just wondering since she'll be weaning. Could something have started to cause sore reflux or other symptoms?

My first solution would be putting her back in your room.
It's advised they are with you until 12 months anyway. 6 months is tiny, and she is probably unable to settle because no one is there and she's alone in a massive empty space. They go from being snug in their mothers womb, to being left alone to cry in an empty crib. Their little brains don't know you're coming back, as far as she knows she's been left alone.

If you can afford to hire a sleep consultant/coach, you might consider that. It made all the difference for my family.

Here’s my take: It sounds like she’s hit the dreaded 4/5 month sleep regression, which can happen at different times for different babies so it might just be hitting her late. If that’s what it is, then the issue is developmental - not anything you’re doing wrong or that is wrong with her. If so, my advice is to try to pick a plan for how to move forward at this stage and then stick with it firmly for at least four nights. After all, it can’t get worse in terms of crying and sleeplessness! If you and your wife have been trying different things because you’re at your wits end, plus the recent travel changing the routine, then I think your baby might be confused about what is going on. How is she supposed to fall asleep ? How long does she have to cry before you’ll come in? Etc. There are a bunch of different sleep training methods (it’s not all cry it out - I never did that), but I think consistency with the plan you choose is way more important than the specific plan.

Ps. Meant to add I’m sorry. I’ve been there. It’s awful. It won’t last forever.

She's probably not ready to self settle and needs help getting to sleep still , all babies are ready at a different time

6 months is tiny, and she is probably unable to settle because no one is there and she's alone in a massive empty space. They go from being snug in their mothers womb, to being left alone to cry in an empty crib.
Their little brains don't know you're coming back, as far as she knows she's been left alone

This part was sad to read but it's true. They're so small and (imo) should be with parent(s)

So if she's only 6mo, this routine must be fairly new? How long has she been in her own room? How long have you been doing baby led weaning?
If baby is bf how does mum do nighttime wakes from another room?

Something similar happened to us at 6 months. It was teeth.

Are you sleep training? 20 is a long time for a little baby to cry. I would start with 5 or 6, and then increase the periods by 2 min each time. After an hour of controlled crying I gave up and BF to sleep: after a few days he did start to fall asleep in his bed without me.

The only other advice I have is that it's just a phase, and all phases end. Absolutely horrific to deal with, but it doesn't last forever! Good luck!

Is the problem that she is very tired but won't fall asleep? mine was like that. She just didn't know how to fall asleep. I did the Ferber method in the end, it took 30 minutes the first night, and 3 minutes the second night! you have to start it on a night when you know they're tired (so put them to bed a little later) and you know they've definitely had enough milk.

Thanks for the replies everyone. Yes we are sticking firm with a plan. The confused part is also what we were thinking since we hopped around houses at my parents.

I appreciate everyone's help and will be moving forward with some of it. We won't be moving her back into our room as we want to stick firm with her plan. I have a feeling some of you here might have different advice but I'm in the UK and 6 months onwards is plenty old enough for sleeping on their own. She's been doing fantastically in her own room but I do think the upheaval and moving around has annoyed and confused her.

Fingers crossed she breaks this cycle and once again I couldn't be more thankful for the help offered here.

No - I'm in the uk, and it's advised to keep them with you until 12 months as it greatly decreases SIDS risks. 6 months is minimum, 12 is recommended.
Leaving her to cry for 20 mins is cruel. No two ways about it.

Hello,

For the first 6 months your baby should be in the same room as you when they're asleep, both day and night. This can reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

I copied and pasted this from the NHS website, so, 6 months is fine for baby to be moved into their own room.
However, at 6 months babies are still tiny and may need help learning how to self settle.
I moved my baby into his own room at 6 months and my advice is
Follow the bedtime routine everyday in our case it was bath, feed put down in cot and read a book, then I woud gently pat his belly or stroke hair to sleep, so he knew I was still there.
Leave the room. If he cried I'd go back in after a couple minutes, stroke his hair or gently pat his belly, leave the room, repeat if needed.
If he was still crying historically I'd pick him up, give him cuddles, rock him and tell him it's sleepy time, once he'd calm down put him back again.
Have you tried white noise or a projector? My baby loves falling asleep looking at the projector images it calms him down.
Also, I give my baby a muslin cloth and he loves cuddling it to sleep, he asks for a muslin cloth before bed time.
Also, my advice would be not to feed to sleep, rock to sleep etc as they get used it to it and that won't teach them to self settle.
I got all of this advice from a book I read before I had my baby, ill try find out what it's called, might be helpful to you.