Son coming home with bruise

[Jellymum97]

Hi, my 5 year old son came home from his dads yesterday with bruising all around his ankle/foot. He told me that he was in the park with his dad he wet himself then his dad got cross and shoved him into a gate my DS was on the floor crying. (My son always pees himself a lot when with dad)
I wasnt told he had the bruising by his dad so I rang him and he said they were messing around and my son fell into the gate. He also said he didn't need to tell me about the bruising, I'm unsure what to do as my son absolutely adores his father I don't want to make a fuss if it was just an accident as my son does exaggerate

I feel like the fact your son wets himself a lot when with his father (but presumably not when not with him), tells you all you need to know.

That is one hell of a bruise. You need to do what you have to to protect your son.

If my child told me this I would be believing my child not my ex, I have 4 kids and have never accidentally bruised them, that doesn’t look like an accident to me and I’m surprised you’re so calm about it, if you son went to school and told them what had happened they would be calling ss. Your sons story is more believable than your exes and if it was all so innocent then he would have mentioned it.

Can your son tell you what he thinks makes him have more toilet accidents when he’s with his Dad? You need to know what that’s about. Is it because Dad is trying to give his son fun days out but isn’t competent enough to make sure they have regular toilet stops and your son is having too much fun to remember, or is it because your son is too nervous to tell his Dad he wants to go, or what? It could be a hundred different things but it needs to be addressed.

As for the bruise, if your child is telling you that his Dad did it in anger, you have to believe him. His perception of what happened when he retold it may not be the same as the reality of what happened because he’s 5, but he’s 5 so he needs to to protect and believe him. Especially as what his Dad said doesn’t sound consistent with a bruise in that position.