Anxious about leaving the house with a newborn

[Teaandbiscuits91]

My baby is 4 weeks old and my DH is due to go back to work next week and I’m terrified. We’ve not got out loads whilst he was on paternity leave as I was in hospital longer than planned and our baby is very fussy so it’s often easier to stay home. But I feel like I really need to get out now but I’ve run out of time for having help from DH. I’m so scared of my baby having a meltdown. When he has meltdowns at home, it can take hours to settle him. He’s a really fussy feeder too (EBF) and can take ages to feed. He also can’t be put down. How am I supposed to go for coffee or lunch or anything?!

He does like the sling but I find it hard to put on on my own so if I need to get him out and put him back in on my own in public, I don’t know how I’d manage it.

any tips? I’m so anxious.

I don't know where you are but we have lots of free things on for babies here run by the council in children's centres and the local library. A lot of the churches run free playgroups too. If you ask your health visitor or at the library they should be able to help you find whats on. It's daunting at first, but going to such child friendly places full of chat and advice is a big help, and I found the extra stimulation from new toys/ different voices/ lights etc the baby would be really easy whilst I was there and I'd often get a nice peaceful nap from them on the way home!

Take him out in the pram for short walks to start with. Feed change and go. Just go. Worst thing that can happen he will cry. Nothing bad can happen and babies do cry. Also you said he won't be put down. He will. You just have to put him down. Put him down and get on with something for a short while. He will not hurt himself crying for a while If you had a couple of other kids to see too he would have to be put down a lot so just try and relax about that !

I found the pram was great in the afternoon for a nice long nap and so good to get some fresh air for sanity too!! Mine both settled really well with the movement of the pram.

Don’t start with cafes or lunches, just pram walks. I’d do half an hour at first and then build up. I was nervous at first but take your change bag and if he poos while you’re in the park, change him if it won’t wait until you’re home.
I felt so much better getting out each afternoon and usually did about 90 minutes. Mine slept most of the way and I got some exercises.

My goodness this was 100% me with DC1!!! Do not worry! You can do this! Don't give yourself too high expectations and start off with small trips out to places that will be easy to you. Are there any BF support groups in your area? It's nice to be around other mums and if you're worried about having a screaming baby then those are the people who won't care and will completely understand too! Mum groups in general are great. The main thing is just to try - why not meet someone close by for a quick coffee or ask a friend to meet you and tell them you're nervous so they can support you. Just take little steps. Inevitably there will be days when you're baby will have a meltdown and if that happens pat yourself on the back for trying and for getting out the house then head home for a cup of tea and a cry. One thing that helped me is taking the pram and walking to places so my LO fell asleep before I got there. The more you try to get out the easier it gets. If it doesn't work one day it will the next. I used to be so worried about my baby screaming in public but now with DC2 I don't care because that's what babies do and nine times out of ten you'll probably never see those people again that you're worrying about. On another note I also cried more than my baby the day my OH went back to work. It gets easier and you and your LO will find your own routine and your own way of doing things. You got this!

I was the same with my now 7 week old. I took very short walks at first (in the pram) to the end of the road, then to the park to get myself comfortable with having him out on my own. Plan was to go q little further each day and then costa for a coffee etc.. but after 2 days I found he loved the buggy and being out

If you dibt already get a caboo and practice putting on at home. I would do a short walk so you dont build it up to being bigger than it is but also sitting at home watching netflix whilst ebf is very acceptable. I really regret forcing myself out with my first because you dont have a choice the next time around!

I think it is. Nobody is going to die if the baby cries for 5 seconds. 4 weeks is plenty old enough to be taken out. Just think about what the worst that can happen is.
Baby cries.
Baby needs feeding.
Baby needs changing.
Good grief its a baby not a grenade.

I feel you...but let me tell you about my first time out with my newborn it'll make you feel better...
Took my beautiful dd out into town for the first time. Had a swanky new pram. Was strolling around feeling happy but bit baby brain.
Got back to car...no handbag!
It had fell off the pram where I'd stupidly balanced it.
Luckily I had my mobile in my pocket. Called DP who had to come out of work to fetch us.
Got home, had to have all house locks changed, new car keys had to be arranged,all bank cards stopped etc etc.
Cost hundreds!
Next day the police called...someone had handed my bag in!
So no matter how nervous you may be it can't be as bad as my first bloody outing!
And don't worry once you've done it a few times you will be fine...I'm a childminder now and if I have a new starter who won't settle I take them for a stroll in the fresh air it always settles them x

I'd recommend searching YouTube for your brand of sling, I'm sure there will be videos of how to put it on and off by yourself. Practice at home with DP there until you are confident. Being able to just put the baby in a sling and pop out will give you a lot of freedom.