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Toddler screams when baby cries
7

Mamabear04 · 05/08/2022 13:34

DD is 2.9yo and DS is 3 weeks old. She has been very good coping with the new transition and although has been emotional, is very patient when I'm feeding the baby etc however whenever the baby cries or even grumbles she starts screaming and crying saying, "i don't like the noise" and "I don't like it when the baby cries." It's really hard when I need to attend to the baby to stop him crying but then DD is a wreck too and I'm struggling to help her/comfort her.

DD really doesn't like loud noises and hates hand dryers etc and nobody likes babies crying so I understand it but it seems to have turned into more of "this gets me attention" mixed with the genuine dislike of the crying. I've tried saying to her things like, "babies cry because they can't talk yet" and "it's just a noise and then it will stop" and now it's becoming "we can't stop the noise, he will stop crying soon" or "stop shouting."

I just don't know how to handle it now. I feel sorry for DD and for her being upset but also I just wish she would stop screaming and shouting. I also feel bad that I can't comfort her or make it better for her. Any suggestions/advice/experiences to help me?

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Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 05/08/2022 13:36

New born cry is awful. You can get protective headphones for children, maybe they would help.

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Mamabear04 · 05/08/2022 15:19

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas this is a good idea but I'm reluctant to try it just because surely she just has to get used to it like every other sibling?

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picklemewalnuts · 05/08/2022 15:27

It's just a tool to help her regulate herself. When she doesn't need it, she'll stop using it.

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picklemewalnuts · 05/08/2022 15:29

It's not just the noise, it's the powerlessness in the face of the noise, and worry about the source of the noise!
Give her something to do like make shshsh noises, or sing a gentle lullaby. Something so she doesn't feel like she's just subjected to relentless noise she can do nothing about.

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MolliciousIntent · 05/08/2022 20:20

Yup, we have this problem! DD1 gets v upset when DD2 cries, and starts crying and shouting. She says "I don't want baby to be crying" and I say "me neither, it's really hard when she's crying! She's just trying to tell us she's cross. There there baby, we know you're cross, it's super tough right now! You're going to be OK, mummy and DD1 are here" etc etc etc and after a bit DD1 joins in telling DD2 that she's OK and we're all here.

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Algbu6 · 05/08/2022 20:22

MolliciousIntent · 05/08/2022 20:20

Yup, we have this problem! DD1 gets v upset when DD2 cries, and starts crying and shouting. She says "I don't want baby to be crying" and I say "me neither, it's really hard when she's crying! She's just trying to tell us she's cross. There there baby, we know you're cross, it's super tough right now! You're going to be OK, mummy and DD1 are here" etc etc etc and after a bit DD1 joins in telling DD2 that she's OK and we're all here.

That's so adorable your little technique

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Mamabear04 · 05/08/2022 21:52

@picklemewalnuts thanks for reminding me of this. It's just so hard when it's all day every day!

@MolliciousIntent I've tried similar things like asking her to sing to the baby or help me pat his back to burp him. I will try your technique of trying to get her to emphasise with the baby tomorrow. So far I've just not managed to get her to engage at all other than crying and screaming and running to my OH!

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