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Spoling grandparents
30

SallyF70 · 05/08/2022 09:24

How to stop grandparents from spoiling the kids

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RockAndRollerskate · 05/08/2022 09:27

I think we need more detail.

How are they spoiling them (gifts, food, letting them get away with murder?) and how often.

My DGM stuffs my DS with cake and sugar, but she only sees him once a month and it makes them both happy so I don’t care.

My DM has my boys once a week so needs to draw a firm line behaviourally, but gives them treats they wouldn’t get at home. Also fine.

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grey12 · 05/08/2022 09:48

Forget about it 🤷🏻‍♀️ sorry.

Unless it's really bad. Then just set a little bit of boundaries

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TeenDivided · 05/08/2022 09:51

I agree with the above. The nature and the frequency here are all important.

However the solution is probably the same. 'GP please don't do X because it is bad for their health / behaviour / outlook on life. Thank you'.

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Mrsjayy · 05/08/2022 09:51

Things don't spoil children it's attitude towards things that makes them "spoiled" what are the grandparents doing and is it worth a fight ?

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MolliciousIntent · 05/08/2022 11:34

...have a conversation with them about it?! Honestly.

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Beamur · 05/08/2022 11:37

Depends what it is, how often, etc.
Personally I am all for a bit of spoiling from GP's. It's a special relationship and it's nice for a child to feel loved and cherished.

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SallyF70 · 05/08/2022 12:11

My nephew, 3, isn't allowed iPad, mobile or most TV. But his granny lets him play on hers and watches CBB with him. I suspect lots of parents try to restrict screen activities. Any advice?

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piglet81 · 05/08/2022 12:13

MYOB if it isn’t even your child involved.

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CuriousCatfish · 05/08/2022 12:14

SallyF70 · 05/08/2022 12:11

My nephew, 3, isn't allowed iPad, mobile or most TV. But his granny lets him play on hers and watches CBB with him. I suspect lots of parents try to restrict screen activities. Any advice?

Tell your nephews parents to relax a bit.

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Mrsjayy · 05/08/2022 12:14

Meh a bit of Cbeebies isn't going to harm him, I've no advice unless you want to tell your sibling and let them deal with it.

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DenholmElliot1 · 05/08/2022 12:20

Any Advice?

Yes, i've got some advice for you. You and your sister need to stop criticising and discussing your mother behind her back whilst using her for free childcare.

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TeenDivided · 05/08/2022 12:26

If the GPs are being used for childcare then maybe some screentime makes it doable for them.
If it's not childcare then provide other activities.
CBeebies can be educational however.

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RockAndRollerskate · 05/08/2022 15:04

it won’t harm him!

If GP is providing (presumably free) childcare and this is how she gets through the day then I’d let her crack on. 3yo are hard work for parents, let alone grandparents who are 30-odd years older.

Or, have a conversation with her but suggest alternatives that will help.

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Youcancallmeirrelevant · 05/08/2022 15:05

If GPs are providing childcare then the childs parents need to relax, or dexide if they aren't happy pay for alternative childcare.

Also, watching cbeebies is not what i would class as 'spoiling' children!!

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Aposterhasnoname · 05/08/2022 15:07

Not your child, not your business. And anyway, spoiling grandkids is literally the purpose of grandparents.

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grey12 · 05/08/2022 15:45

How long does your nephew stay in their house?

Also free babysitting can come at a small price 😉 but CBeebies is nothing terrible

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Beamur · 05/08/2022 16:39

My advice?
Not your kid and not really your business.
I'd agree that if Granny is providing free childcare and that includes a bit of telly that's fine and dandy.

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TeachesOfPeaches · 05/08/2022 16:43

Grandparents are supposed to spoil young children, that's the whole joy of it !

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Galaxyrippleforever · 05/08/2022 16:45

Grandparents aren't meant to be parents, in my opinion. I think it's nice when a GP spoils a child and treats them to things they aren't usually allowed.

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TailSpinner · 05/08/2022 16:50

My advice would be for the parents to chill out regarding the screen time. If they don’t want to have it at home fine, but it seems unreasonable to ban someone else from putting kids programs on their own tv. They sound overly OTT about it, a bit of Cbeebies doesn’t do any harm. What are they worried us going to happen?

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TailSpinner · 05/08/2022 16:51

Also, letting a child watch cbeebies doesn’t really go with the definition of ‘spoiling’ 😂

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SallyF70 · 05/08/2022 16:52

Yes, you're probably right. It's not my business and I won't interfere. But I'm interested to know how other parents deal with the lure of screens.

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AliceW89 · 05/08/2022 16:56

SallyF70 · 05/08/2022 12:11

My nephew, 3, isn't allowed iPad, mobile or most TV. But his granny lets him play on hers and watches CBB with him. I suspect lots of parents try to restrict screen activities. Any advice?

I could not even remotely get worked up about this and we generally don’t have the TV on and we don’t own an iPad. A bit of CBeebies or time messing around on the iPad is hardly spoiling him, especially if it’s in the context of childcare. As far as I’m concerned, by choosing to leave DS with grandparents i’m also saying I trust their judgement. If they want to supervise him watching age appropriate stuff on TV that’s absolutely fine by me, even if we don’t do so at home.

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MajorCarolDanvers · 05/08/2022 16:57

Its grandparents jobs to spoil.

And as this is your nephew then you really should bite your tongue.

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AliceW89 · 05/08/2022 17:00

SallyF70 · 05/08/2022 16:52

Yes, you're probably right. It's not my business and I won't interfere. But I'm interested to know how other parents deal with the lure of screens.

Well that’s an entirely different question. The parent chooses how much screen time they are willing to tolerate (the ‘boundary’ if you will) and then enforces it with whatever method of parenting they subscribe to, through the resulting behaviour.

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