To have more kids?

[astridoo]

So ds is 2 and I adore him, he brings so much happiness and laughs everywhere he goes.

BUT I had a horrible pregnancy resulting in a c section and he was a really really difficult baby right up until about 20 months. I feel like we're just coming out of the trenches.. I also own my own business so life is crazy busy.

So I really don't want ds to be an only child, me and my sister are so close and I don't know how I could have lived without a sibling as a child! Ideally I wouldn't want more than 4 years between them. But the thought of having to do it all over again is horrendous, I don't want to go through pregnancy or the baby stages again. I was always the most broody person and since having ds the thought of having babies is not something that appeals to me.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Is it best just to do it and get through the hard couple of years to complete our family and know it'll be the best in the end? Or is it best to just stick with ds?

Any advice please!

Also just to add, I would more than happily have another child if they could be given to me at age 2 as ds is my best friend now and we have so much fun! (Obviously I know this isn't a thing) but I want more CHILDREN just not more babies!!!

No advice but totally agree with you. Not helpful - hopefully someone can offer some insight

Maybe don’t put pressure on yourself and wait another 6 months to see how you feel? Personally I’d aim for a 3.5 to 4 year age gap if you struggled with having baby & toddler stage.
I had two under 23 months at one point and I really found it hard, like you I like children more so than babies and the age gap exacerbated the stress of a little one. I now look at people with bigger age gaps and envy their wisdom! I wouldn’t change a thing but it’s been a tough 20 months since my second was born and life has been a juggle 😅
Also I look back and wonder what the rush was with having a second when I was only in my late 20’s.

I think lots of people feel like you. When I had my eldest, who screamed all day for about 7/8 months, my mam said to me "Don't worry - the first year is the worst." - and she had 3 of us at roughly 2yr intervals. My eldest is 4 now and still, errr, intense. I think it's just her personality, but still, it's much easier and much more enjoyable the older she gets tbh. We have a 10 month old too, he's been nowhere near as difficult a baby, although a worse sleeper, and having both of them obviously makes the experience a lot harder in some ways. But we went into TTC no.2 with the attitude that we didn't want another BABY we wanted another toddler/child and beyond, and we'd muddle through the baby part as best we could, as we managed first time. Unsure if we will have anymore in future, probably not but mostly because of financial concerns and health concerns for me as I had two awful pregnancies and births both resulting in birth injuries that took quite awhile to health.