Hello, I was wondering whether anyone had any positive stories to advise. I have had various forms of anxiety for as long as I can remember, I have had CBT in the past and by the time I had my baby 2 years ago I felt like I was mentally the best I had been in years, and despite thinking I would suffer with some sort of postpartum depression or anxiety I never did, I was a normal mum with a normal brain and it was amazing.
Following my little boy joining nursery 18 months ago he got the usual nursery onslaught of germs, this led to a lot of Googling on my part as he had never been properly ill really prior to nursery and at that point doctors were still keeping high temp kids away. It was a really stressful time which seemed to induce health anxiety - I think the Googling meant I just saw how many awful things could happen. I then had quite a severe reaction to the Covid jabs last year which has made my anxiety both about myself and my toddler.
I’m now at the stage where I feel my body actually feels physical pain due to my psychological state, when I’m kept busy and distracted I’m fine 99% of the time but when I’m alone etc I can actually feel pain which gets worse when I’m stressed. I’ve banned myself from Google which works to an extent but I’ll be scrolling through Instagram or Tiktok and an awful story will just appear from nowhere of a really awful illness someone has and I just can’t move past it and constantly just can’t comprehend how these people get through each day.
I had a traumatic childhood at times, one of my parents died in my teens of a terminal illness that had been ignored by doctors for years. Although I feel this isn’t directly related to how I feel now, I presume subconsciously it is somehow.
I just need to know how people live with the constant chance of something awful happening, and if anyone has suffered with health anxiety before and feels better, how did you do it?