Hello,
Our neighbours are friends of ours and their son is 7yo. Through his parents description, he has some sensory and behavioural problems which point towards autism and adhd but, he hasn't had any sort of official diagnosis. He has bundles of energy and can be such a lovely boy but, also has certain days where he is in a bad mood or a particularly hyperactive mood. He comes over to play with my 2yo who absolutely adores him but, mirrors his every movement and idolises his behaviour.
He can sometimes quickly turn quite nasty or aggressive, if he is challenged or asked not to do something by his mum and for some reason, he has turned his aggression towards me a few times. It can happen whether he is in a good mood and he will come and jump on me, push me over or hit me with a toy etc as part of his games. Always in this instance he's laughing and it's seems as though he is deliberately trying to hurt me. And other times, he hits and kicks out of frustration because, he has been told off or, has been told no etc.
Today, he came to play and was particularly excitable when he arrived. His mum warned they may need to leave early if he didn't calm down and as he began to kick a ball around the house and brought DDs bike in riding it around, his mum took the bike and ball away and told him they were outside games. He then dove on the sofa next to me and started hitting and kicking me. I’m now 3 months pregnant and his mum knows this but, she didn't say anything to him and I had to move away and repeatedly ask him to stop or he would need to leave. Eventually, they did leave due to his escalating behaviour and his mum messaged me to apologise later on. After they left, DD started to copy his behaviour and was jumping on the sofa behind me and hitting/kicking me, exactly the same way that she had seen the neighbours son do prior to him leaving. Since then, hours later, she is still angry and upset, mirroring his behaviour when she is usually not a violent or angry child.
DH is more friends with her husband than I am with her so, he's told him before about the violence towards me and DD copying the negative behaviour and he says he is going to bring it up again. The main problem is that the wife doesn't do anything but, she's told me before that he gets worse when she disciplined him so, I think she tries to avoid saying anything to him where possible. DH says we won't be able to have him round anymore but, I’m just wondering if anyone has any suggestions that won't result in a soured or lost friendship! I feel that passing judgement or commenting on her parenting would be very uncomfortable and I can tell she struggles so I do really feel for her.
Thanks in advance! X