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Original poster

Do nurseries make babies cry it out??

31 replies

Hhhhhhh8 · 01/08/2022 16:42

ds will be going to nursery when he’s 9m

Hes 7.5 Mo now. He gets cuddled/rocked to sleep, picked up and soothed when he cries

but I’m worried about nursery I feel sick thinking they’ll just make him cry until he falls asleep? Does anyone know if they do this I know they’ll all differ but does anyone have any experience

jm so scared I have no choice but to put him in nursery 3 days a week :(

OP posts:
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husbandcallsmepickle · 01/08/2022 16:47

I worked in a baby room and the babies were never left to cry.

IceStationZebra · 01/08/2022 16:48

Can’t speak for all nurseries but I doubt it. My son is nearly 3 and they still cuddle/pat him to sleep if he needs it. Crying at nap time helps no one.

This might be more about your own feelings about your child going to nursery. Don’t worry.

Brented · 01/08/2022 16:50

I have never heard this, it would be highly unusual. Have they said they would do this? It seems a odd thing for a nursery to do, unless they have a certain method they are following.

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6-9 months old Babies & sleep Childcare & nursery Children's sleep
SBAM · 01/08/2022 16:51

Both of mine were rocked to sleep and started nursery at 9m, in different nurseries as we moved in between. Neither of them were left to cry. Nursery ladies worked their magic though and got both of them falling asleep independently for their nap by about 11m - they’re incredible wizards and do not get paid enough.

Original poster
Hhhhhhh8 · 01/08/2022 16:52

No it’s just my MIL mentioned they’ll “just leave him to fall asleep on his own” as they’ll be too busy? But his ‘falling asleep alone’ is crying - which she said they won’t have time to deal with

and it’s terrified me

OP posts:
SBAM · 01/08/2022 16:55

just seen your update. Unless MIL works in the baby room of the nursery baby will be going to feel free to ignore her!

addler · 01/08/2022 16:55

Think about it logically- if they left a baby to cry then no babies would fall asleep because of the noise. It's not in their best interests.

You'd be amazed at how differently babies and toddlers can be at nursery compared to home- some who need to be held to sleep at home just take themselves off to the mat and lie down and fall asleep. Same with eating- they're nearly always better at trying new food at nursery compared to home.

Most of the time there will be staff sitting in between the babies that need a bit of help, patting their backs and shushing them until they go off to sleep.

This is their job, they're qualified and experienced. If you don't trust them to care for your child properly you shouldn't be sending them there at all. If you trust them to look after his needs when he's playing and being fed and changed what's the difference with sleeping?

And ignore your MIL!

Hugasauras · 01/08/2022 16:56

Nursery are sleep wizards. Contact-napping DD went down for a nap no issues on her first day. I was amazed.

faithtrustandpixiedust · 01/08/2022 16:57

Used to work in the baby room of a nursery and we never just let them cry themselves to sleep. when they started we tried to follow the routine you have at home if that's cuddling and rocking then that's what we did and then as they settle into their own routine at nursery you usually find that they will be moved into a cot for nap times gradually with someone sitting beside them for reassurance etc
They aren't ever left, if you have worries around it then speak to the staff when they start.

yougotthelook · 01/08/2022 16:58

Hhhhhhh8 · 01/08/2022 16:42

ds will be going to nursery when he’s 9m

Hes 7.5 Mo now. He gets cuddled/rocked to sleep, picked up and soothed when he cries

but I’m worried about nursery I feel sick thinking they’ll just make him cry until he falls asleep? Does anyone know if they do this I know they’ll all differ but does anyone have any experience

jm so scared I have no choice but to put him in nursery 3 days a week :(

I'm a childminder not a nursery worker but anyone that works with babies/young children wouldn't let a child cry themselves to sleep - we get attached to the children and wouldn't want them to be in that kind of distress.
Please don't worry xx

Original poster
Hhhhhhh8 · 01/08/2022 16:58

That’s another thing. He’s currently really not arsed about food. He enjoys porridge for breakfast sometimes weetabix but that 2nd meal I’m trying (usually a lunch) NOPE

Will nursery maybe help
him eat?? Because although I pack bottles I know they do meals in there. Good ones x

i have a settling in day soon I’m sure it’ll help. I have severe anxiety hehce the worry I find it hard to trust anyone but me with DS

OP posts:
Ontomatopea · 01/08/2022 16:59

No. They might help the babies sleep on their own. They won't let them cry or none of the kids would sleep.

Ontomatopea · 01/08/2022 17:00

Hhhhhhh8 · 01/08/2022 16:58

That’s another thing. He’s currently really not arsed about food. He enjoys porridge for breakfast sometimes weetabix but that 2nd meal I’m trying (usually a lunch) NOPE

Will nursery maybe help
him eat?? Because although I pack bottles I know they do meals in there. Good ones x

i have a settling in day soon I’m sure it’ll help. I have severe anxiety hehce the worry I find it hard to trust anyone but me with DS

They will definitely help with this and a good nursery should have a good variety of food and a the babies eat better together and copying each other

Brented · 01/08/2022 17:01

Yes, please don’t worry he will eat when he’s ready and nursery will help. As a PP said, it’s amazing what they do when around others regarding eating and sleeping!

Gonnagetacatwhenimovein · 01/08/2022 17:02

All the babies will be sleeping at similar times and they tend to have a worker between 2 cots patting and shushing. There is some amazing pack mentality / magic at play as the kids all sleep. I’ve known babies who would only sleep at home if their parents were jumping through all these hoops, but slept perfectly well at nursery with just a few pats on the back.
they can also help your child to learn to fall asleep unaided as most parents find this hard to do.

Hugasauras · 01/08/2022 17:03

DD eats everything at nursery. I made her a nursery meal at home the other day and she told me 'I only eat that at nursery' ConfusedGrin

concernedguineapig · 01/08/2022 17:06

Your baby won't need to be rocked to sleep at nursery, I promise you. They act completely differently at nursery. It's a real phenomenon!

As an ex nursery nurse I could get 12+ babies to sleep on my own in under 4 minutes. Could I get my own to sleep at home? Could I heck!

They also won't leave him to cry. Who wants to listen to a crying baby when you can just cuddle them? No one.

concernedguineapig · 01/08/2022 17:11

Hhhhhhh8 · 01/08/2022 16:58

That’s another thing. He’s currently really not arsed about food. He enjoys porridge for breakfast sometimes weetabix but that 2nd meal I’m trying (usually a lunch) NOPE

Will nursery maybe help
him eat?? Because although I pack bottles I know they do meals in there. Good ones x

i have a settling in day soon I’m sure it’ll help. I have severe anxiety hehce the worry I find it hard to trust anyone but me with DS

He'll also eat at nursery when he doesn't at home.

He will basically be a different child entirely while at nursery! Let all pre conceived ideas about him go😂

I had a parent who wouldn't believe that her child had eaten all of his chicken and vegetable casserole at lunch time. She wouldn't believe he'd eaten beans, or toast with butter... she actually started to be a bit short with me and mistrustful of things I was saying because she didn't believe he was really eating. I had to provide video evidence to her, I still don't think she properly believed it.

Nursery nurses are wonderful, it's such a different environment for children. They're with other children who they like to copy.

Please try not to worry. Think positively about nursery so your child picks up on your feelings and also enjoys it.

girlmom21 · 01/08/2022 17:13

IME they'll do whatever you ask them to. With DD1 they rocked her to sleep when she was little then tickled her back to get her to sleep when she got a bit more independent.
DD2 was cuddled to sleep.

JenniferBarkley · 01/08/2022 17:18

No, they won't leave him to cry (although they might be more tolerant of a little grumble than his parents!). I think it's much easier for them to be "left" to go to sleep by Jane From Nursery than mummy or daddy if that makes sense.

My two year old still occasionally gets a few pats to go over at nap time if she's being a rascal.

They eat much better there too, copying the other babies.

Nursery is great!

fyn · 01/08/2022 17:24

Ours certainly don’t, all the babies have their own silver cross prams that are pushed around the field until they are asleep. Once they are asleep they are parked up under a covered area and accompanied by staff all the time.

BertieBotts · 01/08/2022 17:29

Your MIL is really out of date. Perhaps nurseries were like that 30 years ago but not any more. Don't worry!

BertieBotts · 01/08/2022 18:04

Agree with nursery magic re eating/sleeping too.

DappledThings · 01/08/2022 22:10

BertieBotts · 01/08/2022 18:04

Agree with nursery magic re eating/sleeping too.

Yep. Don't worry, before long you'll have a 3 year old gleefully telling you about all the vegetable curry they ate that day at nursery and laughing in your face when you suggest making it at home as well.

They won't leave him to cry. I've seen one member of staff managing to pat 4 babies to sleep at the same time in bunk bed cots. They are actual magicians.

chilledbubble · 01/08/2022 22:13

BertieBotts · 01/08/2022 18:04

Agree with nursery magic re eating/sleeping too.

I know! The stuff my DC eats makes me feel bad about my own cooking and I cook healthy stuff.