feeling empty nest syndrome as youngest starts school and longing for another baby

[spinks86]

Hey, so this is all new to me, I have never added or contributed to a thread before but I desperately need some advice and shared experiences. We have two boys aged 6 and 4 and our youngest is about to start school this September, and for the past year I have had a strong feeling to have another baby. My husband does not want one. Are my feelings around our youngest starting school associated to loss of him growing up and in effect empty nest syndrome? is this is a normal feeling when your youngest starts school? I am totally stuck as to whether to put myself first and go for a 3rd baby or put my husband first and not. My husband has said that he will agree but not that he doesn't want to have a another. Will he resent me if I do or will I resent him if we don't. I just don't know how to move forward. TIA

Your husband does not want another baby, so you cannot have one. Put the thought away. Are you back at work yet? That might help!

Empty nest syndrome.. Can't be a coincidence I have 4 dc left home and 4 ddogs...

I am totally stuck as to whether to put myself first and go for a 3rd baby or put my husband first

Why would you want to bring a life into the world with only one parent wanting it? Both parents need to want a baby to have one. It's very short sighted and selfish otherwise.

How else can you get fulfilled?

Find something else to fill your time. Do you work?

It’s not an empty nest when your small children are living at home for at least the next 15 years

Erm empty nest is when they all leave home....
My eldest is off to Uni in September and part of me is dreading it but I still have a 13 yr old at home so I won't have a truly empty nest for at least another 5 years.

If you do have another baby, how will you feel when they start school? Will you want to replace that one with another baby???

Do you work?

You can't keep having another child when the last one goes to school.

I am totally stuck as to whether to put myself first and go for a 3rd baby or put my husband first and not

I mean, unless you are planning on leaving him and finding someone else/using a sperm donor, I don’t think you really have this decision to make?

Empty nest is when they leave home op. Can I pass you a grip?

Go out to work whije they at school? Volunteer? Start business?
School is what max six hours day, enjoy the peace the nest will be full morningand evening and all weekend...
Start planning something for you to fill your days and your life when they actually leave home in 14 years time..

The 3rd child will also go to school in 4 years, and then what? Another baby?
The empty nest syndrome is when children are grown up and leave home.
Your kids are still living at home, and will be living at home for many years.

Maybe get a job or a hobby instead.

You can't happily have a third with a reluctant father. You need him to be as present and as enthusiastic about the third as the other two or you'll manufacture ill will and resentment in the home. It's a bad idea.

This is not empty nest syndrome.

I would suggest that if you are having such strong feelings with your child starting school you seek some professional support.

You'll have this exact same feeling whenever your youngest goes to school. So You'll end up with 27 kids if you replace that empty feeling with a new kid.

Really. Just get a hobby/job/etc.

I’d suggest you put your existing two children first and don’t have a replacement baby with a reluctant father.

Well your dh doesn’t want one so you can’t have one.

You don’t have to go back to work if you don’t want to - there’s tons of ways you can fill your day! Think of the freedom and the peace!

Wow some of the replies on here are harsh

why don’t some of you get a grip or a hobby instead of bashing the OP who is clearly struggling with her youngest starting school?

You need to speak to him in depth about it to find out if he will resent you

i feel the same by the way

but I don’t seem to be able to have another so when mine goes to school I will instead be working on myself

passion projects
career musings
maybe volunteering

basically reclaiming my life

my child has been my whole world since leaving nursery and home edding, two years all about her and her learning, her life, playing, days out

so the void of full time school will be huge

I decided to take the above approach

of you can’t have another baby (you and hubby decide together) then why not think about focusing on you and your personal or professional life?

I feel the same, OP. I have two boys the same ages as yours and mine will start school late Jan (overseas). I am dreading it and already miss the little kid/toddler things such as playgroups etc. I won't be having a third. My husband isn't keen and the kids aren't keen on a sibling. So I will have to just live out these feelings and find ways to be happy. I will so miss his little face though!

@spinks86 omg I am so sorry at all the awful replies you have recieved. Shocking and so harsh.
I know its a year on but I now find myself in your position and wondering what happened? Did u decide on another baby or did you make peace with having 2. I hope either way you are happy and content.
Would love to know, feeling eventing you have said in OP.x