12 week old hates everything

[TunaJacket]

My baby is nearly 12 weeks old and I just feel like he hates everything.

He cries in the car, he cries in the pram, he cries if you pick him up.

I feel like my life is just spent trying to stop him from crying until it’s time for his next nap. He wakes up crying, then there’s maybe 20 minutes where he might smile at you, but then he starts to get grumpy again and cry’s at almost everything.

Is this normal or have I got a really miserable baby? Is there something wrong with him? Will he ever be happy

My baby was and is like this. He’s 5 months now and still will have meltdowns over waking up (no matter how long he’s slept), going in the pram, taking out of the pram. Being picked up, being put down. Taking him out of the bath. You name it he cries about it.
I think it’s just some babies temperament. He’s very alert and demanding. We already got him out of the bassinet and into the pram at 12 weeks old and now have to face the pram outward so he can see and he absolutely LOVES that. It can keep him quiet for 30-40 mins on a walk out to the point I think he’s sleeping but he’s just looking at everything.
However! He does have cmpa and suffered from reflux pain and before he was on the right formula and medication that was the main reason he cried. How is your baby with feeding?
He also is very sensitive to trapped wind unfortunately. We’ve tried everything but it is still something that can send him into absolute screaming sessions until he’s passed it out. So that might play a factor.
how is his sleep? We notice if ours stays awake too long and doesn’t nap long enough that can add to his bad mood. But yeah in general I think some babies just aren’t that laid back.

My son was like that, turned out to be a milk allergy causing reflux. Is your baby a sicky baby?

Check out poss undiagnosed tongue tie/silent reflux

Thank you all for taking the time to reply!

He is also a very gassy baby, wakes up at 4am and spends about two hours squirming and farting before he can settle again. Have tried infacol and gripe water with little/no effect.

He did have a ‘slight’ tongue tie which was snipped at 8 weeks but this hasn’t made a difference either. He’s EBF.

He was very sicky until about 6 weeks- would frequently throw up full feeds straight after eating but this is much better and now he barely even spits up.

I did consider CMPA but the HV dismissed it. Do you think it’s worth cutting dairy out of my diet then?

I’d try it.
Will he take a dummy ?

I would cut the dairy even to see if it makes any difference

@Pizzaandsushi do you feel like your LO has got better?

I feel like I can’t do anything because if I go out he’ll just scream and cry so it’s not worth it.

I would definitely consider cutting dairy (and soy) out of your diet. Your baby doesn’t need to have severe symptoms like blood in stool to have a milk allergy.
my boy never had any blood but we recently did the milk challenge to confirm an allergy and after one full bottle of standard formula he was so so gassy and his poos were wet and explosive but never bloody.
He has definitely improved now he’s on neocate formula. His reflux has improved (he used to throw up full feeds in the beginning) and when he does sick up now, it never bothers him. The wind unfortunately I think is something that will just take time as his gut matures and he starts to sit up and move about more but it’s better than when he was 2-3 months where he cried constantly.
I understand how you feel about going out though. Some days my baby can be fantastic all day and let us sit in cafes and have lunch no problem and other times he won’t stand for it the second we sit down.
After speaking to the Infant feeding team at my hospital they said I need to stop focusing on feeding and get out as much as possible. So that’s what I do. Every time I’m nervous about going somewhere and that he’ll start screaming (and he has a very very loud cry) but I do it anyway. I ask for my coffees in takeaway cups just in case, try and pay beforehand so I can leave asap if needed and I take my sling too so if he won’t go in the pram, I try the sling. Some times it goes great and I’m proud of myself and other times he has a meltdown but I deal with it and feel even more proud. Yes I’m always the mum walking round the baby groups trying to calm my baby whilst the rest of the parents chat and yes I’m the parent that people ask if my baby is ok when he’s screaming in the toilet of a packed train after weeing all over the place 😂 but it’s just the way it is and I’ve heard demanding babies make great toddlers. I hope!

@Pizzaandsushi oh that’s all so relatable! Thank you so much for replying, I felt like it was just me 😂

I hope our baby’s grow up to be bright snd happy soon 🙌

I second possible CMPA as well as acid reflux. My baby was also miserable and I was also dismissed not just by the useless HV's ( baby has colic ) but also by the idiot GP ( all babies cry ). As soon as I got her seen by a pediatrician (private, of course) and they gave her omeprazole and i cut out dairy, I got a new baby within days!

I am still angry at myself that I didn't advocate for her sooner and listened to all those incompetent fools!

Hope your little one gets better soon!

This was my baby, we were fobbed off by everyone, turns out he was cmpa and had severe silent reflux as well as colic. Neocate and omeprozole sorted us out by 6 months and by 8ish months he was totally symptom and medication free. He grew out of cmpa by about 18 months and is now the happiest little 22 month old (barring the start of the terrible twos!) Looking back I wish I got him checked for tongue /lip tie privately (I think he still has a slight lip tie) and also I've since heard good things about cranial osteopathy for babies who had fast deliveries. Dc2 is a week old now and if she starts showing any of dc1s symptoms I've promised myself I won't be fobbed off so easily!

Scrap the HV and go to the GP - there are tests that can be done for CMPA and the doctor might prescribe omeprozole.

I can empathise DS2 was exactly like you described, he was so miserable and angry all the time, he did improve when he was 7mths. And the reason why I never considered a 3rd DC! He is 19 now and adorable and still very determined. It will get better, just do whatever you need to and accept offers of help. My late MIL was an absolute angel, and helped us so much with our boys.

I really appreciate all your reply’s! You’ve given me hope.

im going to start the dairy free today! Bye bye ice cream and cheese 😞 but if it works it’ll be soooo worth it.

thanks again 🙂

My baby was like that. He had a CMPA

When I trialled dairy free I felt a bit alone and not sure what to do. So apologies if you know this but this was the retrospective advice I got from his pediatric dietician. Read every label dairy is a hidden ingredient in alot of stuff. The time I got caught out was some cream in Coleslaw 🙄

Trial DF for 6 weeks then to challenge eat a full adult yogurt or glass of milk. Non IgE reactions can take 72 hours to be seen so observe for that long. If no reaction is clear eat a yogurt (or glass of milk) a day for 3 days. If you still see no reaction then they are unlikely to be reaction to the dairy.

Some common signs in guy were mucous in the stool. Looks a bit like snot.
reflux
Excema
And being unsettled

There's also a fantastic CMPA breastfeedinggroup on Facebook I highly advise you join. Gives lots of tips both on what you can eat and also moral support.

Hope you've cracked it OP but I feel your pain it's heart breaking to see them so upset.

@Coffeaddict thank you for the advice.

it’s all new to me but I spent most of yesterday researching what I can and can’t eat and have requested to join the Facebook page.

im kinda excited! I really hope it makes a difference.

I just wanted to come on and offer you some solidarity as I’m a bit further down the line than you, LO is 14 months. She was exactly as you describe, and I’d never heard of a baby who cried so much. It was very tough and upsetting for both of us. Things started to get better around 5 months, slowly but surely, still getting better now. It could be cmpa, reflux or a tongue tie as the 3 most likely options. I went down each of those routes and I think it was the tongue tie snip that helped us (cut very late). But she also just isn’t a chilled baby, babies have different temperaments which plays a part too. I also think some babies just have an immature gut and it makes them uncomfy.

@TunaJacket I’m hoping that you can tell me it gets better? I feel like I have the grumpiest 10 week old… x

@poppet131 sorry for the delayed reply!

hes now 8 and a half months and still very hard work but it has got better!

he likes the carrier now and will tolerate the pram. We spend a lot of time out and about and going to groups cause he (and I) get really bored at home.

now he is awake for longer periods I feel like he’s a bit better, and weaning adds a bit more structure to our days.

he will still never just chill and we are constantly having to entertain him… but he is no longer miserable!

side note- I was dairy free for 5 months, was never convinced if it was making a difference but he eats milk and cheese now so I don’t think it was that