It seems like such a silly question and one I can’t believe I’m asking. My 5 year old son has taken to punching his own face instead of allowing himself to feel or more accurately show sadness. He does this most often when he hears what he considers sad music and says it’s because it makes him rage.
Both myself and his father have tried to explain that it’s ok to feel and show sadness and that it’s a sign of being a strong and confident person to allow yourself to be sad and to cry but he insists he’s not crying or sad, just angry. His older sibling has no problems expressing sadness so I don’t think it’s something we’ve done or not done as parents, but I could be wrong.
I worry about him growing up unable to allow himself to be sad or to express it. We’ve been so careful not to make an issue of times when he was crying (eg never saying big boys don’t cry or crying is for babies) and always offering hugs and comfort.
He very openly expresses love and gives
hugs and affection freely but just hurts and punches himself to stop tears when he feels sad and expresses rage instead. It’s not so big a problem right now but I’m so worried about it becoming a big issue as he grows up and I’d love to know how to tackle it now while we still have means to do so rather than end up with a very angry & depressed teen in ten years time.
What can I do to stop him hurting himself and how can I explain in a way a 5 year old
would understand that these feeling are normal and ok, that they pass but that it’s important to allow them to happen and that it’s to express yourself when they do happen?