Two year old doesn't talk much at nursery

[AwkwardOrca]

My two year old DS is a right old chatter box at home, his language has come on hugely in the last 3-6 months. He is very chatty with family and friends he knows well, and sometimes chatty with strangers but other times a bit shy. This all seems pretty normal to me.

What is baffling me is they always comment that he doesn't talk much to nursery staff. Apparently they often hear him chattering to himself, but he goes quiet when they try to engage with him. He has been at the nursery for a year now, but only just moved into the toddler room when he turned two. In the baby room they said he was just starting to come out of his shell and chat more before he moved rooms, so maybe he just needs more time.

I guess I am a bit concerned that maybe he is overwhelmed or not as settled at nursery as he appears. He always seems to be playing happily when I pick him up. He seems to want to communicate with staff - when I took him in yesterday he had new shoes and he was pointing at his shoes excitedly to show them, but not really saying anything. And they say he giggles with them and plays games, but they just don't get more than the odd word here and there. Any one got any thoughts on what could be causing this?

No advice I’m afraid but this is pretty much exactly the same as my situation! My DD 18 months is very ‘chatty’ at home (some words mixed with nonsense) and I was so surprised when the childminder told me she was always really happy but very quiet and reserved when she is there. It was like she was talking about a different child!! Presumably it must be a confidence thing?

One of my children's nursery thought he couldn't talk when he started nursery at age 2. I had to film him at home chattering away to show that he could. He was very shy there until he had been there a few months.

My son was exactly the same. In fact I even made a MN post about the fact I was concerned he had selective mutism. I talked to the nursery about it etc. And lo and behold a few weeks later he started talking to key people he knew well but only in 1-1 settings. Then key people but in the class setting. And it gradually improved from there. He's leaving pre school soon and he talks exactly to anyone and everyone (although still not as chatty as he is at home).

DD was like this too. Chatterbox at home, barely spoke at nursery. But it just took some time and now I don't think they can shut her up

DD2 is the same. She has been referred to SaLT who are watching and waiting. What are nursery putting into place to help him? 1:1 time with key worker, home/nursery book where he can show his key worker photos of what he had been up to?

DS8 never stops talking at home. He witters on all the time (much like his Mother ).

His school report says he is quiet and shy.

Well it sounds like we aren't the only ones anyway! I guess it probably is just now he's in the big room it's busy and he's one of the littlest ones so he almost feels like it's not worth trying to compete. I hope his confidence builds at nursery over the next few months. It just seems odd that he is so shy at nursery, given that he was telling some random man all about his snack at the playground earlier 🤷‍♂️!

Nursery haven't said they are doing anything in particular, although I know they do lots of activities where it's just the two year olds separately, and it sounds like they play quite a few games 1:1 with him. I don't think they are too worried because I said he is really chatty at home, and he seems perfectly content at nursery otherwise.

I was going to post something similar! My nearly 3 year old is exactly the same. At home, we have a running monologue but he's very quiet at nursery apparently. He's getting better at one-to-one situations but very quiet in group settings. He's also very quiet with family even if he knows them well. DH and I are both quite introverted and I am quite quiet in group settings so I guess he's maybe just like us! I did ask the SENCO at nursery if it was an issue in her opinion and she thought it was entirely normal and just one of those things. It certainly doesn't seem to be a sign of unhappiness for DS if only based on the fact that he wants to go every day and is very reluctant to come home in the evening!

Dgs was the same. They said he'd say the odd word or two when he never stopped talking here and at home. Six months later and he's found his feet and he never shuts up there either. Dd often gets told " he's very chatty today" followed by a snippet of what he's been talking about. The other month his keyworker told dd he'd asked her whether she would run away from a pteradactyl when she said yes he'd said " Don't be silly Gemma you hide from pteradactyls but you run away from T rex" 😂

Thanks everyone. Feeling reassured that it has happened to other people, and they have got chattier over time. He hasn't been in the big room for long, so hopefully he'll get more confidence soon.

My GD is exactly the same - and I'm at the preschool with her! Totally normal and as long as he talks at home not a worry at this age.

did this ever improve for you? Having a very similar situation with my 2 year old

Yes it's been very gradual but it's definitely much better now. Throughout nursery he gradually got more confident with his key worker and a couple of other staff he liked, then over time more and more people. He started in reception last September and didn't much want to speak to the teacher and TA at first, but it only took a few weeks for him to start being more talkative, and by the end of the year he was fine. He even stood up and said a line in the reception end of year performance. I don't think he's ever going to be the most confident with new people, but that's OK.