Started Putting 12mo Down Awake 2 Months Ago - He Still Cries Every Time. Help!!

[MintGreenLife]

Out of sheer desperation, we started putting our now 12MO down awake a couple of months ago. He is breastfed and used to feed to sleep, but stopped falling asleep with a feed, so we were then rocking him, but he would fight it and fight it and it would take 20-30 mins for him to fall asleep, and he would frequently wake up the moment we put him down, meaning we would start all over again. Things got so bad at one point he was sleeping most of the night in his pram 😖 i tried cosleeping and that didn’t help either!

So now I put him down awake, but after two months he still absolutely screams every time. I’m sat here now listening to him screaming upstairs, and I just can’t stand it! What can I do to help him go to sleep without crying?! Sleep has been a huge challenge for us since day 1, and I just wish I could figure out a way to get him to sleep that’s not hugely stressful for us or him 😭 things seem to be getting worse and worse with how much he’s crying for naps and bedtime. He used to fall asleep in a matter of minutes, but now it’s a good 15 mins and I just feel awful about it. Please help!

Breastfeeding to sleep has no negative effects in teeth, only bottle feeding does

What's the bedtime routine like?

Persist with the comforter - cuddle it between you and him lots during the day and at feed times so he starts to associate it with you and comfort.

Choose some calming music or white noise to put on at every sleep time.

You can sit in the room with him while he falls asleep - even if it doesn't stop him crying, it will mean he doesn't feel abandoned. If you do leave him and he isn't settled within 5 minutes, go in and give him a cuddle and resettle.

A few things to try:

1. Put him on his side rather than back. I think at 12 months it's safe to do that and many babies find it more comfortable.

1. This probably goes against every instinct but what helped me a few times was to actually make lying in the cot more fun. So my Ds loves nursery rhymes. So sometimes I sang his favourite nursery rhymes (and make the accompanying hand movements). This was just to stop him from crying when he was lying down. At some point I then usually sang "the wheels on the bus" and traced the appropriate hand movements on his tummy. I then sung that on a loop till he got sleepy and the hand movements became pats on his tummy. Now he goes quite happily into his cot and falls asleep in there without much assistance. I do have to be in the room however as he looks around once in a while to make sure and sometimes I still need to pat him. So not perfect success but it's better than walking around carrying him for hours.

@LifeBeginsNow thanks so much for your reply. Yesterday I was thinking one nap might do the trick, as I think the reason why he’s been crying more the last few days is because he’s been getting up at 7.30am and just not ready for his second nap, and then as a result also not ready for bedtime! I think for now we will do a mix of one and two naps, depending on what time he starts the day. Today it was 6.20am, so think I’ll be ok for two naps.

Pleased to speak to someone that’s had the same issue with going in to their LO. At the start i was sitting by his side, and he would just get so annoyed, and like I said would push me off of him etc so it definitely wasn’t helping.

I think I’ll set myself a new rule that if he doesn’t seem like he’s going to sleep after 10 mins to go into him, give him a bit more awake time and then try again, as will hopefully feel more comfortable with that. I can generally tell when he’s going to go to sleep (crying is stop-start, and he seems to nod off for a minute or so before starting again),

Your wind down routine sounds great! Ours is always at least an hour, surely that’s long enough 😂

@shivawn hi, so at the moment I do first nap after 3hrs awake time, second after around 3.5-4hrs awake time, bedtime after 4hrs awake time. I do still BF him right before bed, but I’m wondering if maybe I should separate that as may be mixed messages if I’m still helping him get sleepy with a feed, but he won’t actually fall asleep feeding anymore (not my decision, just what happened!). I’m thinking on days when he gets up later than 7am (yesterday I had to wake him at 7.30am!! Which is new), I will try one nap, as think he possibly wasn’t tired for his afternoon nap or bedtime on the day I posted this x

@Connie2468 thanks for your advice ☺️ So bedtime routine he has a bath, 15 mins of quiet play in his nursery with singing songs and looking at books, BF and then book, then into cot. Have tried feeding with the Teddy pressed up against us, but he just lobs it on the floor 😖😅

I’ll have a go at sitting in the room, maybe in the nursing chair. Before I would sit right by his cot so he could see/hear me, but that just seemed to wind him up more. Think because I was sat there but not doing anything to help him 😭 he’s a strong willed character and I think a lot of it is he just doesn’t want to go to sleep!

we use white noise already, and have tried music too x

@NamingGame he rolls onto his side to sleep, so not sure putting him down on his side would help, but worth a try! He just can’t roll front to back or back to front, which means he’s not able to get into a crawling position either. He generally absolutely hates being put down on his back for anything, so maybe putting him down on his side may help!

thanks, I may try something similar! For a few months actually if he woke in the night sometimes if I put his music on on his monitor it would send him back to sleep, so he does like music/singing x

Just here to second that breastfeeding is not like bottle feeding where the milk pools around the teeth. Breastfeeding to sleep is fine. Our dentist us very happy with my 7 year old's teeth and told us to just do whatever we did with her teeth with my one year old's teeth. Well that's breastfeed last thing before bed for 3.5 years then!

We are having trouble with our 14 month old going to sleep and staying asleep! I know friends who've had great success with sleep training. We've not tried it yet but I don't think leaving then to cry for short periods when nothing else works is bad!