Birthday Party WWYD

[mrsnec]

My DC have moved back to the UK from abroad and have only been in thier new school for one term. They've got on well but haven't formed any close friendships yet.

They've gone back to the country we moved from for most of the summer holidays so won't have had any time over the summer to get to know anyone better.

Dd moves into a new class in September with only 4 other children from her previous class.

Her birthday is the 26th September.
I am separated from her dad but we are amicable and can just about afford a party for her. And invite all her class.

It seems the town we live in is fairly short of venues. Our local leisure centre does parties but DS went to one and didn't really enjoy it. If I went a bit further out I'd have more options.

Also the weekend of her birthday is the school summer fete so I can't do it on the Saturday. I thought about the weekend before but worried that's not enough notice. (They go back 7th September)

We've booked a weekend away locally the weekend after and I noticed locals use some of the facilities for birthdays so this may be an option. But there are a couple of other towns nearby that have slightly better leisure facilities.

What I'd like to know is, how much notice do you need for your DC if they have a party invite and how far would you travel for a party does it matter if its a child they don't know very well?

Just to try and bump this and also to add the Leisure centre is in the town where we live and is next door to the school.

The holiday park that does activities for non-residents is 7 miles. It does Zorbing and horseriding for example.

The next nearest towns are 5 miles away and have things like bowling alleys and those pottery painting places.

I live rurally so parties 5 miles, 7 miles or more away is completely normal as there is absolutely nothing on our doorstep that suits as a party venue.

I wouldn't travel 7 miles for a child's party, unless it was DC's best friend! It's definitely too short notice too.
I'd skip a party this year and just do a family celebration with a promise of something bigger next year when they've had time to make actual friends.

This is what I'd do too

I would have traveled 7 miles (and often did) for children's parties, particularly if it was for something specific (both the options you suggested sound brilliant). We don't have a local leisure centre offering parties so my children's were usually a few miles away. If you have class parent phone numbers I'd send a mass text now with the date. If not I think, if you get the invitations out at the start of term, most people would probably be able to make it still... 4 weeks notice is ok.

We got invited to roller skate party half an hour away at 6.30 we didn't go on that basis it was too far and too late.

Usual notice is 3weeks - I don’t live rurally so not sure if people would just see it as the norm to travel to another town. I know that once some kids had parties that required a drive very few kids went. We hired a local hall and hired entertainment, so many kids came as their parents literally walked round the corner and dropped their kids off. Is that on option? How old are the kids?

It sounds far too stressful. Just leave it this year.
She can invite a few children round for a pre Christmas dinner or Halloween party, or whatever, once ages made a few little mates surely?

How old? It's always going to be an issue so close to the start of school. My son was born in the summer so first year he started school wasn't an issue, but I found out that hardly anyone will come if held during the summer when we did it after that first year. So after that we had it a month early. So maybe yours should have it a month late (but before October half term). Kids are old enough to understand that the party rarely happens on their actual birthday.
As for venue, if you don't have many options then travelling a bit should be fine (I mean 5 and 7 miles is nothing if you live in a fairly small town).
Or you could ask a couple of the other parents at school pick up/drop off where they suggest.
You don't have to ask the whole class either if you think your child would be happy with three or four closer friends if they have them and that might open up some options.

Does she really want a party if she doesn't really have close friends to invite? I would be having a family day out to somewhere of her choice and saying you'll take a few of her friends somewhere or have a sleepover at some point after her birthday when she's decided who to invite.

Thanks everyone. It's a very big school that serves a big area so a lot of people who attend the school do live in rural areas I just happen to live by the school and haven't managed to strike up any kind of relationship with any of the other parents.

Dd did go to a party in a village hall 3.5 miles away but that was no different from what we'd get at the leisure centre.

I wish I could just take a handful of them to the cinema but there's nowhere to go for food afterwards.

We are planning to go all out at the holiday park anyway I was going to just book day passes for the family but then my parents booked a lodge with a hot tub for all of us it was when I went to book activities that I realised they did parties too.

I could wait until DD gets back and discuss it all with her but I just feel like I need to book something soon if we are going to invite people.

Travelling would bethe norm where I live. Why does the party need to be a weekend? If you already have things planned on weekends just have it one evening.

Are there local Facebook groups where you could ask parents to get in touch with you / just ask the question? or class WhatsApp groups?

I don’t think notice makes too much difference. People will either be able to fit it in around standard weekend activities or not.

Generally the nearer to home the venue the better. In the circumstances you describe I’d be inclined to do it at home.

Over the years my DC have attended some really extravagant parties (survival camp outs; 5 star hotels; tween spa days). Some of the best ones have been the lock down parties with old fashioned games and a party tea.

So Dd is going to be 8. Last year when we lived abroad we did a party and bowling at our local soft play. She didn't really have close friends there either but half the class turned up and it was perfect. I just wanted her to have the same or better experience here.

We were told our local soft play is a bit if a cess pit and dd herself isn't keen on the leisure centre idea.

Round my way, it is party season in autumn term! My dd has gone a long way even for class parties, if it is something special. Parents will often coordinate lifts together when they have kids invited who are friends.

However why not it this year and have a small Halloween party instead once she has settled in and found some kids she likes. Halloween parties are great as you can organise lots of activities, the kids dress up, and you can go trick or treating (you can ask the other parents to join for the trick or treating, that way you get a chance to buddy up with the parents which is handy for play dates later).

Travelling 20 - 30 minutes is completely normal where I live (Dublin). As kids have got older, parties have gone further afield eg zip lining / activity centres. Journey time could be 45 minutes or more. Sometimes the parents can take them all; sometimes parents share lifts.

Notice-wise 2 - 3 weeks is normal here. But sometimes we've had much shorter notice - people go if they can, no panic on either side if they can't.

I'd say: do a party, it is a nice way to meet more parents and lovely for DC. Do what suits you best & don't worry about the people coming - let them decide if they can go or not.

Also re date. Do it the Sunday if the school fete is Saturday? Or Friday after school? (Tho I find these a bit of a challenge to get to due to work, but I figure something out)

I’d invite the four children from the previous class (assuming DD gets on with them) to yours for a low-key movie party / craft party / sport party / something else you can do in a home or garden or park with minimal fuss or prep.

Sympathies - DD is an early Sept birthday, moving from nursery to reception. We’re putting up a bouncy castle in the garden and inviting 5/6 family friends.

Fair point. We live in city suburbs and anything more than 3/4
miles is considers a long way and potentially awkward as quite a few parents don’t drive.

Could you hold the party straight from school? That's a popular option, usually on a Friday, where I live. The children were always back home again between 18:00 - 19:00 and it doesn't interfere with weekends. Parents doing school pickup would collect multiple children and drop them off at the party so children at after-school club didn't miss out.

I wouldn't say my house is big enough for a party. It's a small victorian mid-terrace. My nearest venue for hire is the leisure centre and they only do parties at weekends but they do have availability for after the school fete so the rural parents would be in town anyway. If I gave invites out on the first day back it gives 2 weeks notice.

I wouldn't do a weeknight party. School finishes fairly late anyway and people have too much other stuff going on.

DD's issue with the leisure centre was that the inflatable run was pirate themed not unicorn themed! but I rekon I could change decor. I just think it would be quite stressful. DS got a nasty kick in the face on the inflatable when he went to a party there and not knowing any other parents or having family support is a worry for me. As I feel I'd need more help with supervision.

Totally agree
7 rural miles is nothing/normal.

7 miles across a big city is a totally different story.

For a late Sept birthday, I'd give invitations the first week of term.
DS's birthday is the first week of Sept, I usually invite people the last week of the summer term.

I'm not sure I'd bother with a party, just do something special with the family at the weekend. 8 is a little old for a soft play party round my way. My DC is 7 and most of the parties this year have been small groups either doing something like bowling or skate/scooter park, or just at party child's house having fun. I'd imagine the 8th birthdays will be similar.

Is she friends with any of the 4 that are going into the new class? You could maybe do something with a small group. If it's only a few friends, you could probably take them wherever you need to go yourself and you won't need to hire out anything - just buy the relevant number of tickets/bookings.

Where we live travelling 7 miles or so would be no big deal , many of the kids may travel that for school , clubs etc as I live in a small town surrounded by villages , also it might be nice to do something different for the kids