Everyday feels so difficult being a parent. Please help!

[ParkLife232]

My ds is 3 years 9 months and dd has just turned 1. I don't know if it's just me and dh doing something wrong but it feels so difficult right now.
I don't know if it's their ages or other factors. Ds has behavioural problems and we're awaiting a diagnosis of adhd. He is very rough with dd and this causes a lot of problems. Dd has been walking a few weeks and is into everything now! Everything she finds goes in her mouth. She doesn't like car journeys for longer than 20/30 mins so she screams at the top of her voice!
Sleep is generally OK, although dd still wakes once a night for a bottle and neither get to sleep before 8.30/9 normally.
We've got stair gates everywhere due to the layout of our house and annoyingly we can't see the lounge when we're in the kitchen so always running back and forth to check on dc and quite often we need to separate them.
Anything I try to arrange is a disaster as just getting anywhere is so difficult so this has now put me off doing things. No days out or holiday as I can't cope with the stress.

I know this sounds like I'm just moaning but I'm feeling so rubbish today and it feels like I can't be a good enough parent. It's half 9 and this is the first time I've sat down today.
Is this all normal for parents of Little ones? Could we be getting our parenting very wrong? I've had a lot of tears today so please be nice. Need support.

its definitely an age thing, it will take a while but it will get easier, you won’t always have to watch them all the time, the 1 year old won’t always be putting things in their mouth etc.

i know it’s hard but the best thing is to get out of the house! Anywhere where they can have a run around but they can’t ‘escape’ if you are busy dealing with one of them. Small soft play, or toddler groups will help keep your sanity.

also do you know any other parents? Teaming up is helpful, simple things like one adult watching your children while you go to the toilet can make things so much easier for you

do anything you can to make your life easier eg pack bags the night before, online shopping or click and collect, drive through coffee while kids are asleep or whatever

also lower your standards, there will be tears (them and you), pick your battles, and as long as everyone was fed and mostly clean by the end of the day it was a success.

like everything it’s a phase and one day you will look back and realise it’s suddenly got a lot easier

good luck

Parenting preschoolers is bloody hard. What makes it worse is your lack of a bedtime, you eldest especially should be in bed earlier, if you had more of an evening you’d prob feel better.
doss your eldest attend a nursery?

@OnlyFoolsnMothers yes, he goes to a school nursery so is on school hols at the moment which has definitely made things harder in the last week.

@Pear21 thank you. Some really good points.

It's really hard but it will get easier as the littlest one grows. We've been there really recently. My only comment is the sleep. I seriously could not have coped at all if our sleep situation was like yours! Cut that bottle of milk now and both of them in bed by 7.30!!! Good luck.

Not to contradict PP, we found it best to stay in. It was just way too much to handle out and about and stress levels would explode. Our youngest is 18months now and on balance, its easier to get out. Do whatever works!