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Incident at parent & toddler group - am I foolish to still be thinking about this??

11 replies

suiledonn · 18/01/2008 22:16

At parent & toddler group this morning I was sitting chatting to another mum with a baby sitting on my knee. My dd who is 20 months was standing in front of me and the other mum's dd who is a few months younger than mine came up with a plastic fork and started sticking it in my dd's mouth. My dd is a bit nervous around other kids and she just stood there as the little girl kept shoving it in her mouth. I reached out to move my dd back but as I was holding a baby at the time it was a bit difficult and I ended up pushing the other little ones hand by accident. I think it looked like I did it deliberately. The other mum just looked and walked away. Maybe she thought nothing of it but I keep thinking she must think I am a really awful person to do this because I would hate if another mum did this to my dd. I wanted to explain but she is a woman I find it difficult to talk to and didn't want to make it sound like I was making excuses. Should I say something if she is there next week? Her dd is lovely and was only playing with mine but my dd doesn't seem to be able to stand up to other children yet and I was worried she would be hurt. It is a struggle to get her to settle at the group sometimes so I am always wary of her getting upset.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
tictacto · 18/01/2008 22:20

I wouldn't say anything about it. Just be friendly next time and breezy and hopefully she won't think you are a baby bashing loony

M&T groups can be awful can't they?

sherby · 18/01/2008 22:21

She sounds like an idiot.

If my DC was putting a fork in another childs mouth I certainly wouldn't just be standing there or walking off. You did nothing wrong at all.

chankins · 18/01/2008 22:25

You did nothing wrong at all - I would have told my child not to keep pushing the fork in the other childs mouth, so it was fine that you tried to intervene. If she is not someone you find it easy to talk to then just smile and say hello, respond politely if she talks to you but try to mix with others who are easier ?
really don't worry about it !

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llynnnn · 18/01/2008 22:25

i wouldn't want another little one putting a plastic fork in my dd's mouth either, would probably end in tears!
unfortunate that it looked like you pushed the other girl away, but i would've done the same as you did and moved my dd away too.
sure it will be forgotten about by next week, don't worry.

callmeovercautious · 18/01/2008 22:26

Don't worry. DD had her hair pulled by a younger baby the other day and he had a really tight hold so I had to remove his little hand. I was very gentle and only did it as I thought DD was about to hit him

His Mum was fine and appologised to me! Obviously I said don't worry she is fine and explained that she is at the age where she would hit back and as she is much older could have hurt him. I think you have to seperate babies every now and then, otherwise they would really hurt each other. And who would let thier toddler roam around other babies with a fork anyway?

milliemoocow · 18/01/2008 22:27

aww i had simular experiance, i was at toddlers with my 3 year old dd, an this boy kept annoying her snatching ect but his mum said nothing although im sure she saw (the boy is always misbehaving) then my dd got a on bike and the boy who towers above my dd (but is only months older) just went and pushed my dd off, my automatic reaction was to shout "hey dont push her off" it was just a mothers reaction, by this time she had fallen due to his push... but instead of his mother telling him off she had a go at me and made me look like a terrable person! i felt bad after but just thought why should i apoligise?

suiledonn · 18/01/2008 22:34

Thanks. I feel better all ready. It is only a small group and I am easily the most nervous mum there and I am conscious that some of the others think I over react at times. We need to go though as dd doesn't have much contact with other children and although she loves to look at babies she doesn't seem to relax around other children.

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chrissnow · 18/01/2008 22:37

No need for you to feel bad at all. At a soft play centre today my dd2 (18 months, looks 12 months v v v delicate looking, but actually a real tough nut!!) was happily lumbering away in the ball pit. Loads of bigger (and prob the same age) boys were jumping in etc. Each and every one's mom said ooh mind that little girl.. and to each one I said no worries she can take care of herself (and true to form every lad that came near her threw a ball at her was met with a huge giggle!!) The one parent who didn't say as such was the one whose kid actually bodily jumped on her!!! That is always the way.

llynnnn · 18/01/2008 22:37

suiledonn - i feel the same when i go to m&t, i'm always scared that my dd will hurt another child or steal their toys etc (not that this has ever happened, i'm just paranoid!)
dd loves it tho and is becoming more and more confident and settled around others, try and stick with it and your dd will soon love it!

chankins · 18/01/2008 22:37

Well done for going if that is how it makes you feel ! I'm sure your dd and yourself will relax in time and both make friends.
I remember going to my first one with dd1 and felt so nervous, and really didn't want to do it but made myself for her.
now Im a cm and go to about 4 a week and generally they are lovely, but it is all too easy to forget how daunting they can seem to a newcomer !

Shitemum · 18/01/2008 22:41

I dont see what the problem is - your child was having a fork pushed into her mouth by another child and you stopped her from continuing. Why didnt the other child's mother stop her?

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