Remind me it gets better...

[Cluelessfirstimer]

6 week baby here...

He was a total dream. Change eat sleep repeat exactly in 3 hours.
Then the 6 week mark it and bang... I have a literal teenager.

Won't sleep, fights for naps, will only sleep on me so I literally don't sleep, barely eat and remind me what a shower is again. Currently asleep on me during the day and we are close to hitting 3 hours , the longest he has gone in days (at a really shitty time I actually need to be doing stuff) Constantly wants to eat to the point I actually have no idea where the child is putting it. Pissed off with his wind,pissed off with being put down.

Remind me it gets better? Or am I just a shit mum complaining so much.

And honestly I don't need to hear the "what did you expect" tripe my MIL gives me. Yes I knew it would be hard, yes I knew I wouldn't sleep and would stink but jeez.. I love my son immensely but tell me they become darlings again.. even just for a week at a time.. I'll take comfort in it

It does get better. In the meantime, you just have to make do.

DS was exactly the same and lived in the sling for all naps for the first 4 months. He also didn't sleep at night unless he was on me or DP so we slept in shifts.

The sling was great because I was able to do things and not feel nap trapped. But he always needed to be put to sleep, he was never one of those babies that just falls asleep by themselves.

He loved the hoover so whenever I wanted him to nap I would put him in the sling and hoover, and he would go right off. Our flat was never so clean as it was then

From 4 months on it got much better. We kept practising sleeping in the buggy and the car and the cot and he got there. He's a dream sleeper now.

The first few months were fucking difficult though, I won't lie. We're having another one in October, hopefully it'll be a better sleeper but if not we'll get through it again I'm sure.

Young babies are completely overwhelming and exhausting. I remember in the early weeks wondering how I could survive this 24/7 without ever having a meaningful break (breastfed bottle-refuser so couldn't ever be away from baby for more than about ~2 hours even when my husband wasn't working). Not to mention she would wake 10x/night every night, I was so sleep deprived I was actually hallucinating.

My girl is 9 months now and some things are easier. Her sleep is still poor but she goes down in her cot at night easier, and while some night she can still wake up 10x, sometimes it's only 2-3 times. She eats some solids and will now drink from a straw cup so can go more than 2 hours between breastfeeds.
I think the main thing that has changed however is me. Sleep deprivation does not affect me the way it used to. I am better at tuning out the relentless screeching and whining and just get in with it. You toughen up over time and get used to the things that feel completely unmanageable at the beginning.
It's a slog though, I hope you're well supported. It does get easier, so slowly you hardly notice it happening at first, but it won't always be this tough.

For goodness sake, he’s a BABY. Referring to a newborn as a teenager is silly.

If you haven’t already, Google the fourth trimester. Get a sling, let him be on you all the time. These early weeks feel long but they’re over so fast. He needs constant contact because that’s what he’s used to from the womb. He’s only 6 weeks old.

Of course it’s hard, and of course it will get easier. But for now, it’s YOU that he needs. And I say this as someone who has a newborn who currently requires ALOT of contact time, feeding and is barely sleeping at night. It’s exhausting but completely normal

I am well supported and you know what I know I have it easier than a lot of people. He is bottle fed so my partner can and does take a few shifts with him when he isn't working.

I adore my son -I had the pregnancy from hell ..GD,OC, pre-eclampsia, he had small growth so I am totally thankful to have him in my arms now but I would give my right arm to have 1 shower poo and piece of toast alone

Sorry I guess I just needed a rant

I'm sure you meant it kindly, but this comment was really strikingly unhelpful! You stopped juuuuust short of being OP's MIL, but not by much.

It's a phrase jeez. I know he's a baby and I know its the 4th trimester but that's not to say I can't have a moan or feel stressed and overwhelmed about it.

Exactly... I wasn't looking to be told what she constantly says.. I wasn't looking to be told just fucking deal with it.. was just looking for some "yep, we have all been there - hold it out"

They go through these shitty little ruts but then it gets better and you'll be like of when did that change?! Because it will be so sudden.

I remember DD getting progressively worse from about six weeks with wind type pain. Colic massage seemed to help but I had to do it a few times a day for a couple of weeks. All a distant memory now! And she's only 2.

Of course you can have a moan.

We love our children and will do what's best for them and what we need because we're good parents.

It doesn't mean it can't also be bloody hard at times. Your needs and wants don't cease to exist just because you became a mother. And it's shit that for the foreseeable future they'll be second to the babies needs, and you'll do it because you're his mother, but it doesn't make it less hard.

Be kind to yourself, get a bunch of snacks next to the bed/sofa, get a stainless steel water bottle with ice inside, and a sling. There's loads of YouTube tutorials for tips and also a Facebook group called babywearing U.K., also see if there's a sling library near you as they're wonderful at giving advice. You can also hire a sling to see how you get on with it first.

At some point you'll be able to shower in peace and out the baby down in a bouncer etc. Until then, the above should preserve some sanity.

I have to agree, @Confession101 - the OP was very clear about what she needed and it really wasn't that!

You can, and will, survive, but I think you have to get used to the feeling of just surviving. I still do some days and DS is nearly two!

The improved sleep makes a massive difference - even having to wake a couple of times gets so much easier to handle. People need to be more honest about how little new mums sleep.

Also, happy for others to correct me if I'm wrong here but a friend told me that you could have a nap if baby was in the sling, because they couldn't fall out? Xx

Feel like my post came right on cue

@Chichz technically napping while you've got baby in a sling isn't advised because you can't be keeping an eye that their airway is clear.

But I did occasionally sit in the armchair and doze off and on while he was in a sling, because I was so fucking tired from getting 1-4 broken hours a night I weighed up that that was a lower risk of harm to DS than falling asleep holding him in my arms at nighttime.

And I’ve told you that it DOES get better. And I’ve suggested ways to cope better with your baby needing contact naps, by getting a sling. And I’ve directed you towards some interesting and helpful ideas by reading about the 4th trimester.

Shifting your mindset about how hard it is, can make it easier to deal with everything. Referring to a newborn as a teenager (which implies moody etc) isn’t helpful. Referring to a baby being “pissed off” isn’t helpful either. He’s not pissed off or moody, he’s a tiny little human who has never known anything but warmth, comfort and constant feeding, who suddenly finds himself in the big wide world and needs gentle and patient adjustment to adapt.

I won’t comment on your thread again, as you clearly disagree with my views on newborn parenting. But as I pointed out, I’m in the midst of the newborn stage too, and I understand it’s not easy. So I’m not suggesting anything that I haven’t been doing myself.

goodluck with everything

That does make sense for such a small bay I suppose. But yes, agree that it's sometimes weighing up which is the least worst option!

*baby

Aside from that one post thank you all for your comments ❤ I'll try a sling for getting stuff done and will give a short nap in an armchair with him in it a go.

Man alive I would jump in front of a train for this boy buy they can certainly piss you right off sometimes

You have listed several classic signs of reflux and reflux is very common to kick in around 6weeks coinciding with the first growth spurt. Even with no major vomiting could still be silent reflux. Babies aren't just unhappy 'because they are babies'. Look up some other symptoms, if it rings true then consider options. If mild even something as simple as baby massage can help.

Oh and if it is reflux, constant feeding may be making it worse. Very easy trap to be in though, you have my sympathies!

I get it completely OP, I found the newborn stage really hard. So don’t feel bad for not “treasuring every precision moment” ha.

It does get better, much much better.

My DS would only nap on me and would wake instantly if I tried to get up and carry him with me. I didn’t use a sling because the wrap ones felt really tight and made me feel claustrophobic. I do wish id looked for a more structured one and used it (don’t know if there’s any suitable for a baby that young).

Some babies (not mine) go to sleep easily in the pram and then stay asleep even when the pram stops moving so you can come home and leave them asleep in the pram. Worth a try.

*precious moment

Referring to him as pissed off and a teenager is just my sense of humour . Of course I know a baby isn't a teenager or actually pissed off...

Please ignore the unhelpful comments from people on here - you are absolutely allowed to complain and feel overwhelmed. Having a newborn is so so tough, but hang in there - it 100% gets better in the next few weeks for most people.

Lots of little ones have a growth spurt and developmental leap around 6ish weeks so it may be that this is what your baby is going through and it will hopefully settle down soon.

Look after yourself and accept help from others - maybe not your MIL though, she sounds like a witch 🤣

Thanks lovely. It really is tough going. I heard the same about the 6 week growth spurt abd apparently sleep regression so fingers crossed.

My partner has offered to take over for a few hours this evening so I can run away- sorry I mean have a bath and glass of wine 😂

Yeah she's utterly awful. Never has anything positive to say about anything not just my parenting. Only happy when she's criticising others. Id rather not sleep for a month than invite her over to help