Swimming against the grain

[schratching]

My son was fine in nursery but now he seems hesitant to go. He says things like the day is too long and I should pick him up after lunch and things children wouldn't think about.

He's an anxious boy and will pick up on any negativity. My mil is critical of nursery but in subtle ways. She'll insinuate that ds is tired and that nursery class in school is enough. He's picked up on this and it's very difficult to get him to go now.

It's hard to regulate. We've tried to tell her not to say anything about nursery but I think she does when we're not around.

Then don’t leave him with her if you can’t trust her.

To add if he is at school nursery with wrap round there will be children going home at lunch time and he will be aware of this.

If nursery is necessary or even you just want to continue using it for other reasons, I would limit the amount of time your DS spends alone with your MIL. It would also be worth getting your DH to speak to her about needing to keep her views quiet around your DCs, as there's a good chance this won't be the only thing she is influencing/will influence in future if she's that way inclined.

They have a full day every week. Which we are grateful for but it's becoming stressful with her influence.

Just don't let her have him when you aren't there.

I agree that he will see other dc going after lunch though.

MIL needs to have zero unsupervised access to DS from now on.

If your MIL thinks nursery is so awful then why doesn’t she off to have him more than once a week?

I really don’t like it when people put their negative opinions onto kids like this, it really isn’t fair on the child, who is then conflicted because they want to please everyone. She wouldn’t have the balls to tell you or DH that she disagrees with your DS going to nursery.

I agree with PP who advise not to let your MIL have DS unsupervised, and I will be doing the same with 12 week old DD for similar reasons.