Should I stop snacks and milk?

[GailForce4356]

My DS is almost 2 and never eats a proper meal.
We do give him a lot of snacks throughout the day as he will only pick at food at it's at least something in him and also when we are out and about or in the car it's how we avoid/stop meltdowns.

I know it's bad/lazy parenting but otherwise I feel like I'd get nothing done.

He has 2 cups of cows milk per day. One mid morning and one before bed. I don't know if this is filling him up too much either or if it's fine that he is still having it? He absolutely loves milk and gets crabby around 9.30,grabs his comforter and looks for his milk.

A typical day looks like this.

6-6.30am- wakes
7am - breakfast. Normally toast or cereal with fruit and yogurt. He never finishes the toast or cereal

9.30am - cup of milk

11.30- we try lunch. Usually crackers and cheese, toast and cheese, homemade pizzas with fruit. Again only ever picks

2.30 - lunch here if he has eaten before nap.

5-5.30- dinner. Risotto, pasta, fish fingers etc. this is the meal he struggles with the most. He barely ever touches his dinner.

6.45-7pm - cup of milk before bed.

Please no judgement. I'm looking for advice on what I should do. He used to eat well alongside snacks but I sometimes wonder how he survives now. I spoke to my HV who isn't concerned as he is growing well but I feel he isn't getting what he needs and I don't want it to become a bad habit.

He won't sit and eat at his little table even when we as a family all sit around it! He's too busy and wants to play and wander.

If he isn't eating meals, cut out snacks. Give milk with breakfast only.

Also, offering snacks to placate bad behaviour is a really bad idea, it completely fucks up their relationship with food and sets them up for comfort eating and boredom eating in the future.

I don’t the milk makes any difference. But snacks definitely will - a snack will come his way anyway if he doesn’t eat his meal and he’s probably full up from snacks before his meal. So there’s little need for him to eat it. No brainer to me afraid - drop the snacks except for a piece of fruit between meals.
What snacks is he having?

What snacks does he have? It looks like you’ve only listed meals.

Where are the snacks in the meal plan above? I'm not seeing them except for the milk? If you're offering multiple snacks in between, then, depending on what they are, yes, cut back and see if he then eats more "proper food"

When ds was about 2.5 we found we'd got into this habit of lots of snacks and he wouldn't eat main meals. So we stopped the snacks and then fell about laughing at how happy he was to eat his lunch and dinner (dinner especially) - we have friends who still talk about the time they served us dinner way later than usual and DS practically ate them out of house and home by the time they served up!

I do give my toddler DS snacks (fruit or toast mainly), but only if he asks for them - it means he’s actually hungry, and he has to sit down to eat them. No wandering around while eating or drinking - this goes for snacks and meals.

You’ve already said you know it’s not good to use snacks as a distraction, so stop doing it. Easier said than done I know.

Ah that sounds good to me - there are zero snacks?? Some kids just don’t eat much. If he’s growing and developing then IME the best thing you can do is relax about it all.

Yeah definitely drop the snacks.

now please forgive me while I rant a little.

I'm pretty certain the reason that obesity is rising is due to the non stop snacking that seems to exist the last 10-20 years.

Humans aren't meant to eat all day.

This is more pertaining to adults but still. We need time in the day where our bodies are processing the food in our stomachs. Not adding more to it.

Think it starts with weaning now and I was certainly guilty when DC were little of having snacks always about.

Even school has snack times. Pretty sure our parents generation survived without snacks a few times a day.

But now DC are older I've totally stopped. Especially since learning about insulin resistance.

Fruit if you want it. If not then there are 3 good meals a day for everyone in the house.

(Exceptions of course for illness/special days)

Snacks are usually fruit like berries, wafers, veggie straws, fruit flakes, yogurt things like that.

He definitely has too many snacks per day I know that.

Thanks for all the advice and tips.

I think we will just have to curb the snacking completely and deal with the tantrums another way.

I would go the opposite way and offer more snacks and just do away with meals that are too much hassle.

The key is that the snacks have to be healthy and in the right food groups that he needs, so some carb, protein, fat, veg, fruit etc. You need to cut out the high sugar yoghurt flakes and the nutritionally pointless wafers and veggie straws etc.

Get the right food into him with the least stress. If that's lots of snacks then do it. Some people are grazers and it's not necessarily an unhealthy way to eat.

I think mealtimes with toddlers is pretty thankless!
I'd agree with maybe switching to healthier snacks, always be mindful of quantity overall and make meals quite small. But sit and eat together for some meals every day.

Hi OP check out Solid Starts - loads of info on their website (and really recommend following them on Instagram if you have it!) They recommend keeping snack at least 1.5 to 2 hours before the meal to make sure the toddler comes to the table hungry and ready to eat. You might have a rough few days but persist with it.

@Allthecoloursoftherainbow thanks I'll have a look at this.

We tried minimal snacks today but he still wasn't interested in meals. As you said it might take a few days.

Hi OP, I’ve been told many times. Not to do away with 2 cups of milk. That should be minimum at this age until they’re about 5. HV and grandparents both have confirmed. so hang on to that.

mine has recently turned 17 months old. He goes to a nursery and he eats well there. But wouldn’t sit down at home and eat anything. Except potato (in any form) and banana. I’m still trying to get him to eat a variety but every day is different and I keep calm with the fact that if he’s hungry he’ll eat.

as some other people have said, try giving healthy snacks. I try to give my DS all kinds of fruit if he’s hungry. I think sometimes they just want to assert themselves.

good luck 💗

@FTMFeb21 he absolutely loves his milk. My friend with children of similar age think I give him too much and that's why he has no appetite but I don't know.

I feel like he survives on fruit and yogurt most days.

Milk is very filling (babies live on it..)

Cut down the snacks and the milk quite dramatically but not completely and find your balance from there.

But yes, obviously he’s not hungry at mealtimes because he’s eating too many snacks and drinking too much milk.

It’s going to take more than a few days, because he’s formed a habit, and there will be tears, but you will get there.

@NuffSaidSam Grazing does tend to make most people fat though

I agree it works for some people, but endless eating is a big part of our national weight gain, so it’s not a healthy habit to encourage. Under 3s only self regulate in a natural whole foods situation, as soon as sugar and refined carbs come in, they will over eat like adults and older kids if they are that way inclined.

I am not suggesting your child is over eating OP! this is a broader point about snack culture.

Don't cut down on the milk. It's an excellent food for young children, anything you replace it with is likely to be less nutritious. Lots of small children like to eat little and often. Instead of cutting out snacks completely, I would focus on making them nutritious e.g. apple slices with peanut butter, boiled egg, homemade pancakes (no sugar), hummus with carrot sticks, berries and yoghurt, cracker and cheese, homemade savoury muffins etc. Cut right down on processed snacks like the veggie straws and fruit flakes. It's very common for toddlers to refuse dinner, but doesn't really matter if they have had a balanced intake for the rest of the day.

That's why it's so important that the snacks are healthy and essentially form the components of a meal.

I'd like to see the evidence that suggests this way of eating is bad for small children.

We accept that newborn babies have very small stomachs and therefore need to eat very little and very often. A two year old has a much smaller stomach than an adult....it would seem to make sense they need to little and often. Forcing habits that suit an adult onto a child or habits that suit one person onto another doesn't encourage a healthy relationship with food.

Remember 2 year old only have small tummies so they need to eat little and often. I really wouldn't sweat it too much, I'd try to make sure the snacks he does have have protein in so that he's still getting what he needs from them.

My 2 year oldchild's nursery have this routine...

8am breakfast
10 snack of breadstick & Fruit
11 lunch
1 snack breadstick and fruit
3:30 meal
5 snack if needed
6:30 meal at home

I basically follow the same but instead of fruit for both snack I'll give him an egg or cheese.