Mil worrying constantly

[schratching]

Mil worries about the children and it's starting to become a strain on our family. She worries that they spend too much time in nursery and that they are tired. That they shouldn't be doing so and so, that they should be doing something else. It's starting to grate a little bit on me as we are trying our best and we know what's best for our children.

I know it comes from a good place but she needs to trust that we know what we're doing.

Have you told her it’s bothering you?
I would just be blunt - she can voice a concern about something once e.g. ‘children spend too much time in nursery’ you say ‘they are well taken care of in nursery and are happy and thriving there’ end of discussion. If she mentions it again, ‘we’ve discussed it already and I’ve got nothing more to say about it.’ I would literally ignore her if she tried to make conversation about it. Or if she got really pushy, ask her to leave. She’s massively overstepping boundaries, they are not her children and her concerns are non-issues.

I've said they're fine and happy there. I ignore the comments now.

You cant change how she acts, but you can change how you react. Ignore, sympathise (it must be a very uncomfortable thing to be so nervous about everything) play topic bingo (on the quiet) or have less contact with her

My MIL went on and on and on about how worried she was about various things we were doing with the kids. Too much time at nursery, not wearing shoes enough, BLW meaning they'd choke to death, not getting enough time to relax (IE no TV), etc etc etc. Drove us mad.

Eventually, DH sat down with her and said something along the lines of "Mum, I'm really concerned about your mental health, you seem incredibly anxious about the kids and I think it might be worth speaking to your GP about how upset and worried you are all the time."

She looked like she'd been smacked with a dead fish, and all such comments stopped instantly.

Its none of her business, you ate the parents. Has she offered to have them?