Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Ungrateful child

12 replies

Pickingmyselfup · 26/07/2022 21:23

So it's just been my son's birthday, he's just turned 7. Leading up to it we asked what he would like to do and he said he wanted to go out for the day to a place he went with school so I went ahead and booked tickets. I asked him to choose where we went for dinner, he did so I booked that.

We chose his presents thoughtfully, there wasn't a mountain of them but one was a new tablet which is a lot better than his old one and some new lego just for him. That's along with a few other presents from family and friends.

We didn't have a party which he wanted as well as the day out because it was too ££. He had a party last year and will probably have one next year.

We also rejigged our spare room so that he no longer had to share with his soon to be 5 year old brother since he kept asking to sleep in there to avoid being woken up. I asked him to help choose bedding and I've made it all nice but he's complaining there isn't enough space for his toys. He's got 2 small toy boxes in the cupboard as well as a ton downstairs and in his brothers room and the box with his new lego plus a bookcase for his new books only.

I tried to make it a big thing, getting it all decorated and letting him see it on his birthday as a present but it's not wrapped so it doesn't count 🙄

I've told him it's not very nice to complain about people doing nice things just for you.

At the end of the day he's 7 and we all have moments where we feel a bit like oh is that it but I need to teach him gratitude because nobody likes a spoilt brat.

Urgh parenting is just so difficult!

Any advice how to handle an ungrateful child?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NuffSaidSam · 26/07/2022 21:26

What did he actually say/do? It's not clear how he was ungrateful?

I think the room being a present was a stretch at this age. No 7 year old is going to consider decorating or a duvet cover a good present tbh.

Skinnermarink · 26/07/2022 21:26

I think it’s probably all a bit much, honestly. The big day out , the tablet, choosing where to go for dinner,….He’s only 7 so he won’t have any concept really of the fact that this costs lots of money. If he’s behaving spoilt, I’m afraid it’s because you’re spoiling him.

Skinnermarink · 26/07/2022 21:29

With presents, at that age I’d space out the opening of one’s from family and friends. Loads in one day and they just don’t care. My rule for any non-immediate family presents is, you open one, you write a thank you card to be able to open the next one, and so on. Makes them actually think about what they’ve been given and it spaces them out, and family and friends are always going to appreciate a proper thank you.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds 7 year olds Families General parenting

Hellocatshome · 26/07/2022 21:33

He's 7. He won't appreciate the room as much as you would hope he would. Especially as it sounds like he has gone from a big room (even though he was sharing it) to a small room. Unless he has said anything particularly bratty or ungrateful then I would just let it go. Most 7 year olds would be of the same opinion that if it isn't a wrapped up toy it isn't really a present.

AndAnotherTwo · 26/07/2022 21:37

Skinnermarink · 26/07/2022 21:29

I love that. Brilliant idea!!

Original poster

Pickingmyselfup · 26/07/2022 21:40

Hellocatshome · 26/07/2022 21:33

I think that's the issue, he didn't have a lot of stuff wrapped and it was something even I commented on when we had finished sorting it. To compensate I put banners out and he had balloons too which he had asked for and the cake he had chosen.

I don't want to spoil him and it's not something I do every day and I've been feeling a bit guilty recently because of his behaviour he's not been allowed to do stuff/have stuff, things like answering back, being rude after I've had words about that behaviour so I probably over compensated a bit.

Maybe I'm taking it to heart, he says there isn't much toy space because there is less than his old room even though he had to share that.

It's hard trying to see things from a child's point of view. My dad was very hard on me so I would never have dared say anything like that.

OP posts:

Kamia · 26/07/2022 21:48

I think a great idea is to lead by example as a whole family practice gratitude because children are always watching. People always tend to complain, the weather, the economy, the state of the country and I rarely hear people being thankful for their blessings. We have it better than a lot of people just by having a roof over our head, running water, a job.

I don't know if you are a spiritual person but regular prayer might help thanking God for our blessings and some people also believe in the law of attraction that when we are grateful we get more abundance. It could be something you do regularly at the dinner table having a chat about what you are grateful for that day.

I'm sure things will get better as he matures, it could be hard at his young age to see things from others point of view as he develops mentally he can start thinking about how others feel and realise not everyone has great blessing as he has. He might not realise you went through so much effort to make him happy and how his reaction has made you feel, children can be so blunt sometimes. Over time, with help from you, he will learn that it is socially acceptable to accept gifts with more enthusiasm. Maybe you can have a talk to him about this.

Kite22 · 26/07/2022 21:58

I agree with the first two replies, added together.

HappyMeal564 · 26/07/2022 22:24

I wouldn't call the room a present. From a 7 year olds perspective his younger brother now has a great big room and he has a little room with less play space so he doesn't get woken up. I know if they want their own rooms someone has to have a smaller one and as a parent there's nothing you can do about it but that's all he will be able to see

shiningstar2 · 27/05/2023 19:29

Could they share the space in the big room to play in and keep toys/books in while he actually sleeps in the smaller room. They are of a similar age so likely to have similar types and amounts of 'stuff" to store. As he's the older of the two he may be thinking, without saying, that it is he who should have had the bigger room. Your choice of course as parent but I'm just wondering if that
might be an issue and he's feeling a bit hurt at getting the smaller room.

HarrietJet · 27/05/2023 19:38

shiningstar2 · 27/05/2023 19:29

Agree. Why was he the one to be moved into the tiny room?

Original poster

Pickingmyselfup · 28/05/2023 07:31

HarrietJet · 27/05/2023 19:38

Agree. Why was he the one to be moved into the tiny room?

Show quote history

This was almost a year ago! He's still in his new room and absolutely fine with it.

Unfortunately I don't live in a mansion so whoever I moved would have to have the smaller room. They definitely need their own personal space now and we are lucky to be able to provide that.

Now to figure out what he wants for this birthday which is fast approaching!

OP posts:

Flip