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Original poster

my ex keeps posting pics of my daughters on his social can i stop him?

22 replies

RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 11:04

Hi,
my oldest daughters father has been in and out of her life a couple of times since we split when she was 7 months old shes going to be 5 in march, i let him see her again in October someone we both knew made a case to me that he had changed and cleaned upped his act etc to find out a couple of months into him seeing her again that it wasn't the case. in that time he got close to my youngest who isn't his during these couple of months he took pictures of them both with him in them and with out him and he keeps posting them on his social media i found out that when he told me his Instagram was private when we were together and he was posting pictures of my oldest daughter that it wasn't so for 4 years anyone could have seen these pictures i had ago at him when i found out and asked him to take down all pictures of them especially my youngest as she isn't his i don't believe he did he just made it private thinking that would be okay i have since stopped him from being in our lives again.... months pass and his posting pictures on his whatsapp status again..... i haven't said anything as i want to make sure i can and what action i can take as my youngest isn't his child

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 25/07/2022 11:30

I believe if he took the photos they are his to do with as he pleases, so short of asking him to take them down which you have done there is not much you can do.

Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 11:31

even the ones of the child that isn't his child? does he have a right to post them?

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 25/07/2022 11:35

He can post his child but if the parents/legal guardians of the other child(ren) object he needs to remove the image or hide/black out their faces.

The easiest course of action is to get those parents/legal guardians to flag up the photos of their children to the instagram.

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Singleandproud · 25/07/2022 11:39

I believe so, but I'm not a lawyer. He took the photo he owns it.
It's a bit like if your child went to a birthday party and the birthday childs aunt put a photo of all the children at the party on her socials, not her child, you could ask her to take it down but she wouldn't have to.

You could perhaps take him to court over it if the child was under social services or naked etc but other than that I don't think you'd have much luck.

Also, unless he is an actual risk to your child you shouldn't be 'letting him see her' or 'stopping contact', she is not a possession to be shared at either of your whims. He may not be the best dad in the world but he is hers. My DD sees her dad more as an Uncle figure than a parental one but it is important they sort their relationship out themselves. Of course if he is actually a risk to any of you then that doesn't apply.

Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 11:40

Im the other child's parent and I don't have him in Instagram

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CountessOfSponheim · 25/07/2022 11:45

You can't stop him posting photos of his own child on Instagram.

For the chuld that isn't his you can ask Instagram to take down, using the process here - but you'll need a link to each photo in question so if you can't see his Instagram you may need help from someone who can.

Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 11:48

He was mentally, and emotionally abusive and very controlling in our relationship it was hard to get out of. in the 4 months, he was around her this time she regressed to being a baby again her behaviour changed she became a needy child that would cling to any adult she knew my once independent child needed help dressing and undressing she needed someone to take her to the toilet at home or relatives houses she was wetting again, him being in her life did not benefit her and her ASD(yes i know she's only 4 we have been under referrals as we have autism running in the family my niece and nephews all have it in some form)

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 25/07/2022 11:48

OP it's quite complex but comes under GDPR. So he shouldn't be posting pictures of children that aren't his on social media if their parents/legal guardians tell him not to. I say "legal guardians" because if he posts other children that are foster children then the state is their legal guardian. He shouldn't need to be told not to post pictures of other people's children anyway.

There was a Dutch ruling on this - www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-52758787

This is why the simplest thing is first to report each individual picture to Instagram.

However you can't tell him not to post picture of his own child.

Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 11:49

i don't know anyone who can see his Instagram he has looked all my family otherwise i would ask them to do it

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RedWingBoots · 25/07/2022 11:51

OP unless you have a Court order preventing contact with the child you share with him then sorry but none of what you posted matters.

Im the other child's parent and I don't have him in Instagram

Then you don't have proof that he's posting the pictures unless someone else you know can see them.

Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 11:53

posting pictures of his own child isn't the issue it is my other child that is the issue i guess its legal action that i am going to have to take then as it seems i cant ask him to take them down as there his pictures of a child that isn't his.

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Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 11:55

i saw the pictures on there before he blocked me hence why i know there on his Instagram even if they weren't on Instagram he is still posting them on his whatsapp status

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RedWingBoots · 25/07/2022 11:57

OP to take legal action you still need proof that he has posted pictures.

Did you take screen shots when you had access? Can you take a screenshot of his WhatApp clearly showing your youngest?

If you did or you can then first get a solicitor to send him a cease and desist letter about your youngest.

Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 12:00

i have screenshots of whatsapp and im trying to find someone on my facebook that has him on Instagram to see if they are still up as i have asked him to take them down and he just blocked me that's why i cant see them now

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Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 12:11

i would just like to put, im asking for advice on what to do about pictures, not about her seeing her sperm donor in that case i should let my youngest be around a man that tried to beat her out of me ??

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Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 12:12

thank you for helping

OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 25/07/2022 12:19

OP did you send a message to him that makes it crystal clear that he needs to remove pictures of your youngest child online?

As if you messaged him like you did here it wouldn't be clear.

So as soon as you have a copy of all the photos - email him and tell him that he doesn't have your permission to post pictures of your youngest child social media or elsewhere, and he needs to remove all pictures of her on social media and elsewhere asap. Don't expect a reply from him. Keep a copy of the email you send to him.

Then wait 14 days and check whether all the pictures have been removed. (Even if he sends you a very rude and nasty reply he may still remove the pictures. )

This is because you are expect to try and resolve things without involving lawyers first.

Then only if they are still on there contact a solicitor to send a cease and desist letter.

RedWingBoots · 25/07/2022 12:24

Oh and next time your ex wants to see his daughter, your eldest, then make sure your youngest isn't around so he can't take photos of her.

Contact is for the child to spend time with their parent and vice versa. Half-siblings not related to that adult shouldn't be around them unless the adult shows they are trustworthy. Your ex isn't trustworthy.

Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 12:46

no i was very clear.

i said to him can your remove all pictures you have of my youngest as you have no right to post them please black out or remove all pictures of them together as you have no right to post pictures of her.

i will my cousin said she will add him well see if he will add her to see if they are still up and will keep track for me.

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Original poster
RubyQueen01 · 25/07/2022 12:51

I do understand what contact is for a parent to have contact with the child. just because someone isn't a physical risk to someone doesn't mean he isn't a mental risk to the child. There are more ways of being a risk to someone that isn't just physical.

At the time of contact being established someone who I thought was a mutual friend had told me they had changed their life around etc and they weren't alone together on the property, it was either with myself or a family member

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RedWingBoots · 25/07/2022 19:30

OP as long as you have proof of the message you sent to him and once you can prove the photos are still up then find a solicitor.

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