Feeling disconnected from my son

[Welshmama123]

My son is 6, I share 50/50 custody of him and I work full time. when I get home from work on my days with him. I give him the hugest hugs and kisses but its 5.45. I make dinner, bath him and put him to bed. I feel like I'm not spending quality time with him and since starting a new job I feel like my career has taking a front step. I'm starting to forget important school things and birthday parties. I'm just so busy and work is all encompassing. My love life is active at the moment aswell and I'm feeling like I'm spinning so many plates whereas before I was just mum. I was obsessed with being the best parent I could be.

Can anyone relate? How do I feel more connected to my kid again?

You're stretched too thin. Only you can decide what needs to be cut out from your life.

What are you doing with him on weekends?

Do you have an option to work longer hours when he's at his dads, then pick him up earlier when he's with you?

I take him for days out on the weekends and we play together on my weekends so I suppose I'm in the same position as other parents who work full time.

I suppose I am being spread too thin. I need to allow more space in my life for my parenting. It needs to remain at the forefront of my head.

I think it's going to be a case of deciding what your priorities are. Life is always a balance of competing parts, and if you feel that you are getting that balance wrong then it's time to look at rebalancing.
Is there any scope to speak to your work about flexible working to try to shift more of your work to the days when your son is with your ex? If not is it financially viable for you to work less than full time?

If it was me I'd be trying to get some flexibility so I wasn't getting home so late on week days. Those extra couple of hours in the afternoon would make a big difference I think.

When you say your love life is very active I'm assuming you mean on the weeks you don't have your child, that's fine as long as you're focusing on your child in the time they are with you.

Are you taking some leave over the holidays to try and spend some more quality time together maybe? Life is hectic and it can be hard but at six years old he will be wanting to spend more time with you.

as for forgetting school things and bdays - when you get a notification/ invite put it straight in your diary.

When is your active love life happening? Im assuming its when you are child free?

Can you do longer days a few days a week to free up a few days later on.

Yes, I keep my love life and my parenting very separate , only go on dates on the days I don't have my son.

I've spoken to my work and they have said I can work from home on the days I have him over the summer holidays. Even though I will be working I will physically be there. I also work flexible hours but can only take one flexi day off a month but it's something. I've booked a week off over the summer holidays to spend some time with him.

Is anyone else feeling like they are juggling too much and neglecting the time spent with their child? Even when I'm with him I'm thinking about work or other things. I'm annoying myself! I just hope my kid isn't picking up on it.

You are not alone. I have just quit my job after only starting in May as felt my career can wait till my 3 year old is older. Decided to work relief and will work extra when husband is home as he works away. I am needing a better balance for my daughter as felt she was in childcare for too long hours and she was knackered. Wish you all the best 😃