Entertaining a 13 month old whilst working from home

[Mummysparrow]

My childminder is on holiday for 2 and a half weeks in August and despite my best attempts I have only managed to arrange childcare for 5 of those days with another childminder. All childminders local to me are either fully booked or have holiday in August as well (or both). Not family close by to help and I was hoping to get my 18 year sister to help for a few days (as she loves babysitting her nieces and nephews) but she has recently got a boyfriend so no longer interested in helping.
I work from home a few days a week and few days in office. Hubby is going to work from home when he can (mainly when I am in office) so we have no choice to have her at home whilst we work.
Any suggestions on how to keep a 13 month old occupied without just shoving her in front of the TV every single day (as she will inevitably get bored)? Sensory activities welcomed. I just need to put a plan in place so I can rotate activities that will keep her occupied for more than 5 minutes at a time.
I am really not looking forward to it but really don't have much choice. I can't really take unpaid leave as it will mean I won't have enough money to pay the next month's childcare.

You might have to borrow from the Christmas leave pot if you can.

sounds a bit shit neither of you being able to take any annual leave between (at least) July and Christmas though.... how have you both already used all of your leave with half of the year left to go?

I’m sorry if it sounds mean but the safety of you child in the new weeks is more important than potential Christmas leave. You have months to look at solutions for not having leave over Christmas whereas you have a few weeks now. Or save money to take that at unpaid leave.

I would check your contact and wfh policy. Mine is very clear that children under 11 / year 6 and below are not to be at home whilst we are working without another adult supervising them. It would be a disciplinary if my staff had children at home whilst working. That’s what AL is for. No one behaved like this before Covid.

Is it possible to do your work slightly out of hours but remain 'online' for emergencies? For example my work has lots of admin to it - I can (not that I do this often) keep my laptop on and keep an eye out for urgent emails during 9-5 then I can crack on with admin and complete my tasks at a later hour.

I'd suggest you and our early! Get toddler out for a walk or a play in the park at 8am (even taking breakfast with you to eat in buggy on the way - keep in pjs if needed!)

Be back home for 9 and some TV time - schedule little breaks to play / set up activities - then also have mini tv breaks too. Use your full lunch hour assuming you get one to do some more playing / something physical. Easy lunches for baby this week - so you're not prepping and tidying too much!

When baby naps try and crunch some work. Repeat in the afternoon and then once baby is in bed spend a couple of hours going through emails / admin and get workload completed.

Not ideal but workable in this urgent situation!

Just to add OP, this is why we didn't use a childminder and favoured a nursery.

It gets harder as they get older I hate to say- would term time working be possible?

Could you truly say you would be happy with a teenager you have never met before (and no childcare qualifications) looking after your young child who doesn't like strangers?

No, I wouldn't be happy with this.

But it's a better solution than trying to work and rotate activities/tv watching.
Even better is you and your DH both taking unpaid or annual leave to cover it.
I appreciate that neither of these are appealing solutions, but I'm assuming your baby having an accident because she's not being cared for properly is even less appealing?

The way I see it there are two options. Hire a teen and supervise from an adjacent room -ask for personal reference from childminder, neighbours, colleagues etc or

Take annual leave now, four days each. Plan,save and take unpaid leave at Xmas.

We went with creche to avoid this scenario but it brought the challenges of having to cover the inevitable bugs.

I hope it gets sorted soon it is a stressful issue but there is no way you can supervise a one year old and work. It's not fair on anyone

Can't your husband take annual leave? You will have to remember to save some to cover your childminder's holidays next year. It's a pain, but it will get worse when your kids get to primary school, annual leave pretty much all gets used up for childcare. We managed one week off together for a holiday and then birthdays and Christmas together, the rest all got taken up with us taking turns to cover the school holidays.

OP When you use a child Minder it is always best to arrange your own annual leave / holiday for that time - If that’s not palatable then you share the annual leave - partner takes one week off and you take the next week so that you both loose the same amount of annual leave. A good child minder will always give plenty of advance notice of holidays.
Remember that any teenager that you had in the house would be supervised as you would be in the house with them ensuring safety etc. if you recruit now there will be time to arrange getting to know you sessions etc. The best way of doing this is to draw up a timetable of activities for the baby sitter - all the activities and snack times etc.
8:30 Arrive
8:45 Dressing Up
9;00 Toy tea party
9:30 Drink and sung song
10:00 Nap time
etc etc!!!
The compromise to this is that you will do nappy changes etc which I’m sure work will readily agree to if baby occupied at all other times.
it’s tough OP but there are some really lovely teenagers out there who will respond and will agree to a no phone / pictures policy for the right price / fee.
Good luck x

Use some of your annual leave now, then save up so you can take unpaid parental leave at Christmas.

Does your DC nap? We had to do the odd day when nursery was shut during covid and basically did 2 hour shifts so:

7-9am DH works I have DC
9-11am - I work DH has DC
11-12 I have early lunch break with DC, DH works
12-1 reverse, and DH puts DC down for a nap by 2pm
2-4 DC naps, we both work
4-5 / 5-6 we work an hour each or maybe a bit more depending

It's not ideal but can be done and in our time looking after DC we did the odd thing on our work laptop / replying to emails etc.

I don't think you can leave DC to amuse themselves at that age though...

I’ve done it. During covid and for a decade before. I’ve been working full time from home around kids from a few weeks after each or mine were born. Or working out of the home and bringing the babies/children with me to work. In varying ways this is not unusual in my town/village/friendship circle.

im my own employer so that didn’t matter. I would take the kids with me to work. Or work at home with them on me/around me/ on my knee. They would be feeding, playing, eating their meals, napping, playing in the garden, a lot of time in the sling or baby carrier.

mostly babies just need you. So looking at ways that you can be there whilst also meeting that need. At 13 months for me that would be feeding (4-5 feeds a day at around 10-15 mins each for my most recent baby who I can remember!) that was about an hour I could work for. A nap, that was another two hours or so. Often the nap would be on me so I would have the work set up before getting the baby to sleep. Do you have flex in your day OP? I’d often work from bedtime to about midnight or if bedtime took a long time or I was too tired, I’d go to sleep with the kids then get up around 1am to work for a few hours, then more sleep before morning. Although that didn’t get me out of child duty as lots of my 1-5am working hours had a child on me too as they never seemed to sleep!

can you work and walk? I got quite good at that so I could have children with me and be walking outdoors and work as I go. Then land in the park and manage a bit of work as they got a bit of fresh air. Gardens and paddling pools too for this time of year! Obviously with you sitting right next to them so only good if you can move around and work. I would take full advantage of dictation apps where you can verbally work if you can’t type. I used to get a surprising amount done with babies in high chairs or baby carrier with me cooking and rambling on to my dictation apps. Editing work done later.

do you have any friends you can do a childcare swap with? If I needed a full workday for a project, client or for my dissertation etc I would swap with a friend who had the same problem and I’d have a bunch of kids for a short time then get to be child free for a longer time.

ive worked in soft play a ridiculous amount! Do you have a gym or gym membership? Or could you sign up for a mont if you don’t? A gym with a crèche can help and you can spend the time sitting and working instead of working out, there’s no rule that you can’t.

obviously the father of the baby should also be taking this burden on 50/50 and be looking into ways to entertain children and work.

good luck op

Nope, she’s a baby, you either work or look after your wain (and take leave etc).

I don't think people are being judgemental - just realistic. I tried to work from home with a baby of that age during lockdown and it was awful. There were no activities my 1 year old was interested in for more than 5 minutes if he didn't have attention - TV was of zero interest to him until over 18 months.
Maybe your baby is more chilled than that so it will be slightly easier, but even so I can't imagine this working for any period of time.

Luckily my work were understanding as it was because of covid but it was really stressful. I was failing at both parenting and work by trying to do both.

Does your work require you to be online at a certain time? or can you catch up in the evenings? It might be slightly more doable for a short time then.

Have you tried posting on local Facebook groups for childcare suggestions? I've seen posts in ones for my local areas of people looking for childcare help- you might be able to find someone with some experience- someone who works in a nursery or something like that.

I think what puts in perspective is that you wouldn't consider taking your child in to the office. But that is an effect what you are trying to do.
I totally get it, I remember similar nightmares trying to get the holidays sorted out, but I don't think it's feasible to work with a child of that age.

My childminder is also off for 2 weeks in august. I have taken 1.5 weeks of annual leave, then found cover for the other days. I am a single parent, so I can’t even share the annual leave.

i have tried in the past WFH with my toddler and it was not doable. If I was sat at the computer working, that’s where she wanted to be, no matter what distractions I gave her. I could do the odd 10 minutes here, but it was mainly first thing, over nap time, and then after bedtime I got most of my work done.

distractions I tried tuff tray with blended cereal, drawing things, tv, setting up different toys of sensory items. But she got bored very quickly, and wanted me to join in.

you say she doesn’t like strangers, which is why your against asking a teenager to come over and play with her. But say you are sending her to another childminder for a few days, I assume she’s not met them much either? At least the teenager could be in your home, in a familiar environment with her toys. Even if was just a few hours in the morning until lunch. Or take your annual leave, and split this with your partner and try one day each WFH.

Find and pay a local teenager via Facebook who's off to study childcare in September or is already studying it. You'll be in the house so can keep an eye on them and work in earshot of them so you can be there if needed.

Not ideal, but safer than trying to ignore her so you can work.

Also try the Bu ble app. I've had some great people off there. I can post a code for £10 off your first booking if helpful.

If a nanny costs about the same as your salary, then that might be the bullet you have to bite. Surely that's better than losing your job or your sanity?

What’s your husband’s annual leave situation, OP?

The best idea is to move your hours around so work early morning or late night.

Exactly what I was thinking.

I managed without child care by working very few hours and having a ridiculously flexible schedule. They did not care when I worked at all. Most of my work happened on evenings and weekends. DH wfh and would flex his time so I could attend daytime meetings.

in your situation, I would hire a mothers helper. Is it still the summer holidays when this happens? Even a 13 or 14 year old would be sufficient if you are working from home. You don’t completely need child care, you need someone to play with your child, keep the child from killing themselves, and change diapers. You are still in the house for any serious situations that arise.

I appreciate you’re now in a difficult position, however I’m surprised you only have enough annual leave to cover you for Christmas at this point. It sounds like you’ve taken lots already this year, but overlooked when you actually need to take it. Next time I’d suggest getting childminder / nursery holiday dates and booking those as annual leave first, then doing the rest around it. I’ve found that we’ve sometimes had to divide this between me and DH (which of course isn’t ideal and we’d prefer to spend it all together) - but sacrifices have to happen with kids. Hoping you sort a plan.

They're some women at my work that think they are clever and 'work' and look after their child at the same time.
It's so obvious and I hope it gets shut down soon.
Antics like this ruin WFH for people that actually work.

Op im offended by you calling other mums who've been there struggled been on our knees with absolutely no choice during lockdowns judgmental - fucking judgmental - really we are talking from experience.

Working and childcare of such young children just doesn't work. Its two jobs, simply put 2 into 1 doesn't go.

Either pay your sister, find a nursery or take annual leave