14m old seems to hate me-what steps to take?

[MumofAlf]

Hello
DC has been favouring his Dad/DH for a while and I’ve just tried to ride the wave, not take it personally, get involved with playing, do bath time and bed etc. It’s now got to a point where DC only wants Dad, can’t be consoled by me if upset but will stop the minute he’s picked up by DH, will leave the room when with me alone to go find DH. If we are all in the lounge and I’m playing on floor with DC and DH is just on his phone doing his own thing, DC will walk around me and take toys to DH…even though I’m actively playing, making effort. Today he was giving my husband cuddles on demand, proper grabbing his T-shirt and snuggling in. When I asked for a cuddle he wouldn’t come near me, and when I do get a ‘cuddle’ he just puts his head to my chest for a second then walks off again. It’s not becoming really upsetting. I know not to take it personally but boy is that hard!
What steps can I actively take to try and help the situation? I know it may not go away completely but does anyone have advice on things I can do day to day to help ease things? I work part time, so DC is home with me 2 days, at nursery 3 days and then my DH is home evenings and weekends

I don’t think this is hate, it’s complacency. Your DC is confident enough in your love that he’s comfortable ignoring you to seek affection from their other parent. Just keep doing exactly what you are doing. All mine have gone through this stage and all of them have good relationships with both me and their dad.

What is he like when DH isn't there?

It's probably that dad isn't around as much as you so makes the most of it when he is.

@EricaVonFiddlesworth your second point is really not helpful

Fine with me when DH isn’t there, but not hugely affectionate. Happy playing, toddles off to explore, will go up to my friends when they come over for play dates and sit with them when playing. Their kids don’t leave their laps 😩 I’d just like 10% back, a sign that he likes me, wants to be with me? Rather than just the person who feeds him, changes nappy, drives him around! I don’t think I have ever done anything for him to not like me, don’t tell him off, offer love and affection, tend to him when he cries.

OP this is so hard and my first went through a phase like this. There was no apparent reason for it and it didn’t last long.
I would be consistent and just continue what you are doing.

It’s been going on for about 2 months now….just don’t know how long to prepare myself for!