DD has become unbearably clingy

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DD aged 5 has just been quite poorly with a nasty ear infection. She really suffered with it and has only just been well enough to sleep through the night.

It seems to have turned her clinginess up to unprecedented levels (and she's always been super clingy and close to me).

She won't go anywhere without me, or agree to do anything if I'm not there.

Next week I am working and she has some fun activities planned with DH but she says she would rather sit outside my office alone
whilst I work than leave the house without me.

She will miss out on a playtime with a good friend, swimming with her cousins and a family bbq.

What do I do? Just accept that she's struggling and let her stay home or try and persuade her to go?

Brisk, jolly, firm -she’s going to have a lovely time doing xyz and then you and she will do something equally lovely after your work. Telling, not asking.

She will miss out on a playtime with a good friend, swimming with her cousins and a family bbq.

What do I do? Just accept that she's struggling and let her stay home or try and persuade her to go?

Why would she miss out? Your DH just takes her and accepts any feelings she has about it.

I've never had to force her to do anything before. It feels wrong to pressure a clinging distressed child to separate? Although I agree that her moping sadly round the house isn't a good outcome either.

Well it depends on whether you think this is pathological with its roots in severe anxiety/poor attachment, or whether you reckon it's just her being a bit whingey and realising this is a good button to push.

If option number one, seek professional help. If option number two, continue as planned and let her get on with it.

It feels wrong to pressure a clinging distressed child to separate?

I would perhaps agree if she were going to a summer camp or similar, but she's going out with her dad.

Agree with other posters - I'll be thinking about you, I can't wait to hear about your day - and off they go.

The only option is that she does the things as planned. I'd be tempted to head into the office for the week (or Costa for an hour until shes out the house).

She needs to learn that there's plenty of things in life you might not like doing but you still need to to them. What happens when she pulls this kind of stunt with school?

I am two very anxious DS. 9YO DS is diagnosed with autism. 7YO DS is probably on the spectrum too but not to the same extent as his brother. Getting them out of the house sometimes is an absolute nightmare. 9YO will not do anything by himself. But DH and I keep encouraging him to do things alone because we cannot be there all of the time. The more he does do by himself, the more confident he becomes. The opposite is also true, if you let him avoid one thing, he wants to avoid everything.

Tell your DD you will miss her lots too. But your job is important and you cannot be distracted by her being home.

I wouldn’t even tell her you’ll miss her, especially if she’s already clingy. For me it could reinforce for her that there’s some big emotional “thing” in being separated from you. But going out with her dad is a totally normal thing. “Have a great time with daddy, I’ll see you later!” and off she goes.

Ok we are going for it. She's said she wants to go now so I'm going to hold her to it and breeze through it.