34 month old scared and sad at bedtime

[toddlermumm]

My daughter is 34 months old and almost every bedtime she refuses to get into bed, runs away if you try and pick her up, she talks about everything in her room scaring her but even when we remove it from the room and reassure her she continues to refuse to go to bed even when she is evidently tired. She tells us she is not happy or that she is sad and she seems to get frightened/situation made worse at the thought of me or her dad leaving her at bed time.

She used to be a great sleeper and obviously has had her phases or difficult bedtimes but this is like nothing ever before, we always give her a heads up before bedtime, the same routine before bed and at bed time with time for a book, milk song, etc. Have even tried offering to lie with her and stay with her which usually does the trick but she will say yes and then not lie down or want to go to sleep still.

Is this something to be concerned about, developmentally or is there something deeper/more sinister going on? Or is this just completely normal? If so, any help or advice would be HUGELY appreciated. TYIA.

So your (nearly) 3 year old?

What’s lacking in your life? Only explanation as to what you’d be a complete bellend to someone concerned about their kids sleeping?

Sorry OP, I have no idea but hoping the MN sleeping experts will be along soon.

34 months

Would say it's quite normal. Do they have a night light? Perhaps one in a shape they would like (animal or the like) and make a deal of it being their new grown up light in their room etc perhaps just afraid of the dark/being alone? Also, I did also find the 34 months thing confusing lol.

I remember going through something similar as a child and ended up sleeping on my parents floor for a while. Partly grew out of it but also we redecorated my room and I got to choose it how I liked. Helped take away the fear, previously it was quite dark and I was scared of every shadow

2yrs 10 months?

Has she had any big changes lately? Moving house, a new sibling, family changes, deaths, change of childcare/nursery etc?

Could you reassure her that it’s okay to feel sad/scared and that you’re still watching out for her?

Exactly

toddler

could she move bedrooms?

the night light sounds like a good idea as well

Is she happy to be in her room during the day time? Not just dressing but also play?

Do you think she's genuinely scared, or has latched on to something that gets your attention? My son noticed that saying he was hungry always managed to postpone bedtime, until we got wise to it and got firmer about eating times. It's hard, because you obviously don't want to dismiss her fears if they're genuine (even if it's more just an anxious feeling rather than about something specific), but it could be she's just trying to put off going to sleep.

Thank you for your replies. Sorry, yes, my 2 year and 10 month old. Still haven't grown out of the habit of using months, time flies with kids!

No big changes, she has a night light already and we offer reassurance but doesn't seem to do much. It could be shadows/sounds from outside so maybe redecorating and some blackout/soundproof curtains may help. Thank you

@BackOnTheBandWagon I hadn't thought of that but it's possible. that will be an interesting one to figure out😂When we say it is bedtime though she seems perfectly fine and getting to her bedroom she says good night and is smiling and giving kisses out etc, it's not until we go to leave that it all starts. So could be she just doesn't want to be alone

@LosingAtHumanBopIt To be honest we don't have toys upstairs they are all downstairs, she will sometimes play in her room with soft toys and puzzles while I have a shower etc and she is fine in there, but its quite rare, she only really goes into her room to get ready and for bed time.

34 months?

I would play with her in her room in the daytime and I’d sit with her for now and tell her you’re going to sit with her, until she’s asleep. Maybe move the furniture round if there’s enough space and get some new bedding to make it a bit different.

Do you leave the door open ? My daughter went through a phase of this and she hated the door shut. After story I used to say I'm just sorting the washing out in my room (or any other excuse) so she knew I was near. That seemed to help. She didn't like the thought of being separate from the house goings on if that makes sense. I also used to say I will pop back In 5 minutes to see you and I did. She would soon settle knowing I was around.

That's really boring now

Doesn’t sound sinister at all, sounds like normal toddler bedtime aversion. It might get better when she’s around the 72 month mark 😉

@jammiewhammie65 We don't normally leave the door open so I could try that, and I think the fear of missing out sounds like it could be that too, will try the popping in and out as I think this might help, thank you