Help, advice, suggestions needed! 13 week old has just gone into a pavlik harness.

[WorryMcGee]

I have posted before when I’ve struggled and got lots of help so hoping for the same again. After things improved (right medication for reflux and sertraline for me) I’m at my wits end again.

On Monday my 13 week old was put in a pavlik harness, and we have had pretty much non stop crying/whinging/fussing since. She cries from the minute she wakes up in the morning, I’m not exaggerating. That used to be her smiliest time, and now she opens her eyes and immediately starts crying. She is not the easiest baby anyway, I can’t take her to baby groups as all she does is cry and I can’t bear being the only one with a crying baby, so I quite often feel like I can’t leave the house - but this is on another level even for her. She’s smiled maybe once since it was put on, she won’t fall asleep unless it’s on me, normally she doesn’t want to be held unless it’s up on my shoulder but that’s nearly impossible now with this wretched harness on
so I can’t do that to calm her down like I used to, she hates her playmat and her change mat now too and they’re where we used to get the most smiles. I tried to go out earlier to get a coffee and she just cried so much the whole time I was embarrassed and gave up. There was some kind of mother and baby meet up in the same cafe, all those babies were just calmly looking at stuff and mine was just crying. I tried feeding her, she didn’t want it, I can’t hold her in the ways she prefers to be held, she was warm and clean and didn’t need a new nappy so there was nothing else I could do but leave and go home.

She isn’t a huge fan of structured carriers but they are the only ones we are allowed to use now she’s in this harness, so I can’t even use the sling which would normally calm her down. She doesn’t fit in her car seat now so we are only allowed to use it when it’s unavoidable. It’s like going back to the dark days before her reflux was controlled and I spent every day alone in the house or walking for miles in the woods away from other people. I can’t give her a bath, I can’t even cuddle her properly 😢 she’s off her bottles today as well, which is a new development.

The heat this week won’t have helped I guess, and she also had her sodding second round of jabs on Wednesday which gave her a fever. I left a voicemail with the physio who put her in the harness but I know when she eventually calls me back she’s just going to say it’ll pass.

Is this the harness? Or is it something else?! Wonder Weeks says she’s in a fussy phase now but I’m not sure if I believe in all of that, I downloaded the app because a friend told me to but since reading up on it I’m not sure.

I feel so trapped and lonely and bad for her as she’s clearly so unhappy and I can’t fix it ☹️

It sounds like the harness is very uncomfortable and making her miserable. youre unlikely to be able to change that. How long is she in it for?

Oh bless her (and you). I think they say the first week is the hardest, so hang in there… I take it you’ve checked it’s not rubbing anywhere and making her skin sore?

her skin isn’t red anywhere and she has a vest on underneath. I don’t know how long she’ll be in it, she’ll have scans every two weeks and once the left hip reaches an angle of 60 it can come off, apparently. Im really struggling. She just woke up from a nap and the first thing she did was cry and she’s still screaming now 😢

Check her skin. But you must persevere with the harness. As you want to avoid a spica.

Is there any kind of sedating/relaxing med she could have to get her over the first week or so?

I know I can’t remove the harness but my god have I been tempted. She’s only been here 13 weeks and it feels like non stop medical appointments and crying. Not much joy or newborn snuggles here.

I'm not sure if this is the case for a harness, but I know the maxi cosi have adapted car seats that they loan out for babies who have the spica cast. It might be worth finding out if they are suitable and loan them out for the harness. Might help you both if you could do car journeys a bit more.

Hopefully though it's a case of getting use to the harness at the same time as this heat and soon she will settle and adapt.

Get in touch with the STEPS charity, they may be able to help. My ward regularly looks after babies and toddlers who need surgery. I don't know how family manage with toddlers in spicas.

It’s so hard OP! I had a DD in a spica cast and then a harness, and she was happy when she was resting on a bean bag type of seat. I suppose it supported her enough in the right places to make her comfortable. Obviously your little one is very young, so you would have to watch her all the time on it, but might be worth trying?

Can you give her a dose of Calpol in case she’s in pain with it?

Thank you everyone. After another day of crying whenever she wasn’t on me (and I don’t include the carrier in that as she doesn’t like it) this evening I put my anxiety/need to follow rules to one side and I made a kind of bed thing on the sofa out of my pregnancy pillow, put her in a sleep sack thing that I bought for when she’s a lot older (room for her harness) and she’s been fast asleep like that since 7:30. I won’t have her sleep on it all night of course, she’ll go in her cot, but she looks so content 😥 it must be much nicer for her being on something squishy like that. I actually cried looking at her. It’s the first time she’s looked comfortable since the damn thing went on.

@EnglishRose1320 thank you for this tip I’ll look into it 🙂

Hey! My LO was born with congenital talipes... Weekly cast changes,an operation and 12 weeks in full time boots and bar (now down to 12 hours a day until he's 5).

It's hard....but it gets easier, Babs will get used to it. The days post cash changes were hard, the first few days in boots were horrid. We had family members telling us how it was such a shame, how we were hurting him.

Hang in there!! It will be a blip in your memories soon x

@WorryMcGee - it's difficult but so important to persevere! DSIs was born with hip dysplasia before babies were routinely tested; it was picked up when she couldn't sit up. 3 months in a plaster cast from armpits down, 6 months in metal splints, then eventually a hip replacement at 35!!

It’s absolutely ok to be finding this hard by the way- it is. Just find little comforts hour by hour for both of you. It WILL get better.

My baby was in a pavlik harness from 7 days and it probably took her about 4 days to settle initially. She was younger though. We found she was most unsettled in situations when she would usually be able to kick her legs and if she was in a slightly restricted space e.g. carry cot, it didn't bother her so much. At night time I put rolled up towels by her feet to try and replicate this for a few nights. Once she had settled in, it really didn't bother her at all. I hope your baby will be the same. It's a really effective treatment though and we saw huge improvements by her second scan. Have you seen that m&s do little trousers that fit over the harness now? I used to really struggle finding clothes to fit over the top. The only other thing we found was that she struggled with bringing up wind a lot more as we couldn't burp her as effectively in the harness and she couldnt kick her legs. We spoke to the health visitor who gave us some recommendations which really helped. Other than that I doubt she is in pain, it must just feel so strange but she will adapt and looking back, its a pretty mild treatment for something that could cause problems for her whole life. That said, it's taken me a long time to have that much perspective and I definitely didn't see things that way until way after the harness was off. Be kind to yourself and do what works for you and your family x

@ScienceMummy15 We are also struggling with burping her! Jiggling on the knee etc never worked so we have always popped her over our shoulders which we can’t really do now, and that’s making her grumpier (and has flared up her reflux)

She doesn’t fit in her carry cot now 😢 even though she’s dinky she’s slightly too wide for it! I’ve had to put her in the stroller attachment, strapped in, on the lie flat setting. Which of course she HATES…

She just had a bit of time on her mat without immediately crying when she couldn’t kick. That’s progress. Our Labradors lay down with her 🥺

@WorryMcGee Yeah, same with the burping! I think our health visitor recommended infacol to help with the process. Hopefully the fact that she settled on her play mat is a good sign too.

Best of luck. I know some of what you're going through and it's hard at the time. Believe me, in a few years you'll be telling your daughter how strong she was and how she fixed her hips all by herself when she was just a tiny baby

Just wondering how you’re both doing now, @WorryMcGee ?

@figmaofmyimagination thank you for checking in! We turned a corner yesterday, so a week after she was put in it. She woke up and smiled, and I cried 🤦🏼‍♀️ because that’s what she used to do! We are still having issues winding her, and she still struggles to sleep, but she seems to be getting used to it and it’s cooled down loads which must have helped. We had a harness check today and they think her hips already look more symmetrical ❤️ Scan next week to check progress properly. They also took her out of it so we got a proper cuddle for the first time in a week 🥰

I'm so glad things are improving for her and you.

Well that update made ME well up, so I can well believe it made you cry! I’m so pleased x

Sending you hugs, my little girl was in one from 6 weeks.
Being honest it was fairly shit. It definitely got better but things were so much harder. Things I'd taken for granted like having her in the sling, car seat, bassinet. I had to find a whole new way of breastfeeding her, winding her... She was SO much grumpier in it.
I cried buckets. She's 4 now and I look back and it seems like seconds she was in it. I actually got used to breastfeeding in the new position and even when she came out of it I carried on feeding like that!
So I suppose what I'm trying to say is it feels like forever now but it really doesn't last long in the grand scheme of things, and so much better that they've caught it when she's tiny rather than a full body cast later xx