“Kids only argue if their needs aren’t being met”

[BiscoffSundae]

if you have children close together do they argue? My boys 10 and 8 argue constantly, it’s so draining, I dread holidays because I know it will just be weeks of arguing, they seem to rub each other up the wrong way and are the opposite of each other which doesn’t help, I posted on a parenting Facebook group for advice and got told by a woman with only one toddler that “kids only argue if their needs aren’t being met” 🤦🏻 Never heard that one before and I thought kids bickering was typical especially if close in age? Just felt like a dig

yeah, that is not true.

Arguing with siblings is how I learned to negotiate. Key life skill!

Ignore her. Kids argue for any number of reasons!

Aha but learning that key life skill was a need, was it not?! One that you met by arguing!

Honestly OP, irresistible pedantry aside, the woman is batshit. Ignore.

It was a dig. And falls into the “if you’re going to be a sanctimonious prat don’t say anything at all” category. It’s bollocks.

There are two schools of child raising: children are either Fallen Angels or Risen Apes.

The 'needs not being met' is an example of the Fallen Angels school of thought.

I'm a Risen Apes type. Children, like other juvenile mammals need to be taught how to participate in their society using basic means they understand.

And arguing, and dealing with someone saying things you don't like, is an essential skill for juvenile mammals to learn.

It’s a load of rubbish

kids argue for many reasons. Mainly, immaturity, lack of perspective, lack of negotiation skills, inability to remove themselves from a situation, lack of words with which to express themselves more clearly, inability to consider what a compromise might look like….

Mine are 6 and 4 and our lives are an actual re-enactment of Fight Club, daily!

"Aha but learning that key life skill was a need, was it not?! One that you met by arguing!"

🫡 excellent work there!

Having just spent two weeks in the Maldives with my son, who was entertained and fed for 16 hours a day and was still breathtakingly rude at some point every day, I can categorically state that this is not true.
And some kids can just be dicks.

I have a two year age gap.

Technically, my kids do argue if their needs aren't being met. By that I mean if one of them isn't doing what the other one wants them to do to meet their needs😆

Siblings practice real life on each other as it’s a safe environment, they argue and push boundaries in the safety of their home and sibling relationship, I would say your doing a fine job at parenting as your children feel safe to practice anger towards each other.