Playdates Do I look Odd Doing This

[lostittoday]

Hiya

I know I am probably goung to sound really silly but would just like others opinions.

My ds is very sociable at school and has alot of friends, I for one am really shy and only ever probably talk to a couple or so other moms ocasionally at the school.

My son is very much into bringing friends home after school and I don,t mind that at all or who he has.

The thing is I only really feel comfortable asking moms I do sometimes talk to if their dc would like to come.

My son however is asking for friends to come whose moms I never say two hoots to and I think he probably working his way thorugh the class.

Do I look odd going up to moms I barely speak to and asking if their dc would like
to come for tea after school and play with my ds.

Looking at it another way would they feel comfortable letting their dc come to my house when they barely talk to me and if I can be trusted with their dc.

I never see anybody having children back whose moms they barely talk to I seem to be the only one that does this.

What do you think am I doing right.

I don't want to look like this mom on the playground who is desperate for her ds to have friends home to play with.

I am only doing it for my ds who enjoys having his friends back of course and alot of the time his mates love coming.

Give your child a note writen by him and you tio give to the child he wants to come to the house. That was they will approach you to discuss it. My friend recently did this with her little boy and she is now talking to the parents and the child is coming to play today.

I'm similarly shy and I feel awkward approaching mums I don't really know. But I do it anyway, and I feel really relieved when my dcs take the initiative like yours does. You can make a joke of it, saying that your son is making arrangements and you are forced to act as his social secretary,
It's quite normal to have this sort of playdate, and it is a way of getting to know more mums.

no.. and it's a good way to start talking to other mums

I would not mind at all if someone did that to me. First visit might stay for a cup of tea

say "Hi I'm x's mum -- I think ours play a lot together at school and mine really wants yours round for tea.. what do you think"

tbh i would prob say "nice idea but would x like to come to me first"

People won't think you're odd at all. If you feel too shy to go up to the mum, by all means pass a note through the child, but notes often get lost/go through the washer ime, so if it was me, I'd ask the mum face to face.

Oh and, yes, ask them to stay for a cup of tea first time. Then if their dc is shy or they want to be reassured that he is ok with you, there is no problem.

Thanks to you all I think that my insecurity about this boils down to my shyness.

If I was a outgoing chat away type this probably wouldn't feel odd to me.

Tbh I have been marred by shyness all of my life and I hate it.

As a fellow introvert with an extrovert child,

no, I don't think you will look at all odd or interpreted as being 'desperate'... I think other parents will perceive you to be doing something nice for your ds.

Thanks for that counting, in all fairness there has only been one who didn't take me up on the offer everybody else has been nice about it.

Feel its a shame that my ds never gets a invite anywhere though.

I do however appreciate that people have busy lives, work, and have other children to contend with.

Do you worry about being a introvert for your childs sake I do all of the time.

That's great lostit. I was really worried when dd kept asking all the mothers of her friends (virtually the entire class) if she could come home and play !!! But the reaction I had was really warm and kind. I think the anticipation is often worse than the event tbh.

Do you mean that the other parents aren't reciprocating? That doesn't sound right!! I know it's not always possible but I think it's only fair to expect some invitations in return. Sounds like you are a very generous person.

I do worry about it as it happens - particularly because she is an only child - and despite best attempts may probably remain so.

It sounds really corny, but I guess it's just one of those situations where one is forced to become a "better person" through being a parent; by putting your child's needs in front of your own. That's not to say I find it particularly easy and some days are better than others. My motivation is that dd is currently very happy and sociable and I don't want to bugger that up by inflicting any of my social anxieties on to her!!!