i want dd christened, dh doesn't, don't know how we can ressolve this one

[spottyzebra]

id really like dd to be christened as its traditional in my family
dh doesnt want her christened

i don't really fancy a baby naming day as personally it feels a bit like a pretend christening to me,but that is only my feelings on the matter.

what maks it worse is dn is being christened on mothers day, my first mothers day and i don't really want to spend my first mothers day with everyone asking me, when or are you are you going to get your dd christened? which is going to make me feel shit as i can't really say to all my aunts and uncles etc well i want to but dh doesn't

Dh and I had this discussion: he is a non-believer and I am a Christian. I was quite happy not to be married in church, when he said that would make him feel uncomfortable about the whole thing- I wanted his day to be special! But then I did push strongly to have dc's christened. The way I put it was that I wanted them to have a genuine opportunity of choosing for themselves when they were older and felt that letting them know that they had the right to their church, should they ever want, it made for a fairer balance, as they would grow up mainly surrounded by non-believers. I don't drag them to church every Sunday (in fact, hardly ever) and when we do discuss religion I try to do it in a balanced way (this is what I believe, this is what Daddy believes). I just wanted them to know that if they need the church, then that too is there for them. If they don't want it, then fair enough, stay away.
Oh, and we do have a particularly nice Victorian christening gown with all the names of the babies christened in it since the 1880s embroidered round the edge- so I'm not saying that didn't help to sway him .

As a DH I was against having DD christened because very simply I don't believe in any sort of god and I'd have liked DD to grow up entirely non-denominational and be able to make her own mind up in her own time about which, if any religion, she chose to follow rather than having some arbitrary religion imposed on her before she could decide. In terms of opting out, let's be clear about this - the intention of an infant baptism (as the vicar made very clear to us) is that the parents are obliged to raise the child in the Christian faith with the intention that the child will be confirmed in the future. A christening is not intended to give an option on that faith.

In my case, DW on the other hand was very keen to have DD christened, not because she is particularly religious (although she is a latent Christian) but because she felt it was the "right" thing to do. In the end, we agreed that she would be christened but that the obligation to raise in her in that faith would be solely DWs (i.e. future church attendance etc.). Would that help?

I went to my nephew's christening at the weekend (SIL's child). It was a catholic cernaomny, but they had a wee book which gave the order of service.

In it, it made the point that it may be not everyone there (including one of the parents and some of the godparents) is Catholic. In that event, it advised that those people siad whatever responses they were happy with - which might be as little as confirming the name.

Maybe if you explained that to your dh, he might be more comfortable.

For the record, I have no religion and dh is a lapsed catholic.

thankyou for all your ideas and views
ive been on the coe website and they do a thanksgiving service
you do not have to say any vows you just thank god for the gift of life

ill ask dh w
hat he thinks about this tonight, ill also show his this thread so thanks so much everyone