Autistic toddler easy?

[meg1209]

Hi all,

Just want to see if anyone else has ever been in the same boat really.

My son is 23 months and is currently being assessed for ASD. He stims and doesn't 'talk' yet (among some other things). But overall he is very a well behaved, calm and content toddler (he also sleeps well). I seem to see a lot of parents with children on the spectrum sometimes being a little harder to look after due to some of their behaviours.

Has anyone else had a very calm autistic child and does this change with age at all?

Thanks,

M x

My son was like this. He is 3.5 now.

In some ways he is easy going and content with a small list of things he likes doing. But I would say he has become more frustrated with lack of speech and he hits and bites a lot. He has become more rigid with his eating and his challenges with sleeping.

He also doesn't really push himself to learn new things so progress is very very slow.

But he is a joy and a gorgeous little boy. But he is very behind.

Not sure if that helps?!

It will change with age because expectations of those around your child will change and they will struggle to meet those expectations. So they may be fine with you at home or at a childcare setting they are used to, but when they move to a Reception class and there are activities and routines they aren't used to, then there would start to be issues.

The same is true for other adults interacting with your child who expect age appropriate and non-SEN behaviour, and don't understand why your child doesn't respond to them in the way other children do.

My dd was pretty easy as a baby and toddler, I guess it got harder around the age of 3 when she stopped sleeping and seemed to have no fear of anything. Communication has always been the main issue with dd so at the age of 2/2.5 she began to get really frustrated because she was still non verbal and couldn’t ask for things or tell us if she was hurting. I think as they get older it becomes more obvious how behind they are with communication and social skills so it does become harder. Dd is now 16 and at times I think she’s much easier than most 16 year olds, I don’t have to deal with the back chat, not being home on time, drinking etc.. but the fact she can’t be left alone and still struggle a lot with communication does make things trickier and I often wish she was doing the things other teenagers are doing.

Just wanted to jump on this thread and ask if your autistic toddlers ever do the following my son I’ve been told is not autistic but has GDD. He’s almost 3years old and not a single word amongst other issues some sensory and behind on understanding and fine motor and doesn’t imitate sounds …..if he’s autistic I wouldn’t be surprised. The other day I pretended to cry and he came over to me and hugged me hard and held my face in his hands to see if I was still crying and then smiled I think to cheer me up it was the sweetest thing but something he has never done before. Today my dad put in a halloween mask and he got so scared he started to really freak out a face I’ve never seen before and backed into the wall when my dad removed the mask he was instantly relieved and so happy. It’s moments like these when I think he cannot be autistic or can he be? I don’t care if he is I just want him to talk but it makes me wonder…

My son was an angel as a baby and toddler. That did make me question how comes since all i hear by mums of asd kids is that they tantrum and meltdown a lot. He didnt have his first tantrum til 3.5. B4 then he was in nursery setting where they're not expected to do much. Easy baby like setting. Once I weaned him off his bottle (things he uses for comfort) and more expectations came in, needs to sleep alone, and needs the receptive understanding of whats happening around him.....things began to fall apart unfortunately. I still think deep down he would have been very easy if neurotypical....but he has become very trantrummy as he got older and realised the reality more. Moving him to special needs school as in a yr 1 classroom just wont cope the same. Wish i knew this b4 than trying to see how he copes. Nowadays he also tantrums on things he never did even as a baby. Like he wants me to sleep in his room. If i dont he cries a lot. He wants to hold me while sleeping and plays with my hair. As a 2/3 yr old he wouldnt even notice i was gone. Was a great sleeper. It seemed to me like he was so easy going...reality was he wasnt noticing me in or out the room. He just wouldnt notice his surroundings. B4 he was over focussed on enjoying his food and cartoons. So different now. Also has lots of anxieties now. But i have found ways in dealing with these baviours. Ofcourse if your child learns to talk it will be easier. Mines still not speaking in sentences yet.

My autistic son was a lovely calm baby and toddler. He is now 7 and very difficult. Very defiant and stressed when things change.

I miss his earlier years at times.

My daughter was diagnosed the week of her second birthday. One of my concerns was that she was "too good". She never opened cupboards or drawers, she never emptied toy boxes, she never explored, she never protested, she just went along with whatever was expected.
She's 19 now and has never misbehaved in her life, she's never raised her voice, she's never been unkind, she has always done exactly what was asked of her as soon as she was asked, she has been described often as Little Miss Perfect.
But it isn't a positive thing to be if I'm honest, she does things that she is unhappy about because she doesn't know how to refuse. Being perfect is anxiety inducing as she constantly strives to get everything right. I would love it if she learned how to know her own mind and do what made her happy rather than constantly trying to make everyone else happy tbh.

My autistic son has been the easiest child ever. He's probably too compliant tbh 😞

@meg1209 how is you child now? As my little boy is just like this! Xx