Lost my temper with my 3YO today

[NewMum0305]

Just feeling shitty and embarrassed and guilty.

My 3 year old has been off nursery sick the past two days - by chance, I was already due to be on annual leave so looked after her while my husband worked. Not much fun being cooped up in the boiling house (was in a red zone) with a sick child but she was a trooper and we got through. But have been stressed as she isn’t getting better and I’m behind on work and to top it off, she hates the antibiotics she’s been given so it’s now a physical battle to get her to take them and it all got on top of me today and I just screamed at her (just her name in frustration) when she once again was refusing her antibiotics, and then walked away in tears (my husband was there and had been trying to help).

I calmed down and apologised to her and told her it wasn’t acceptable for me to shout like that, and she was lovely as she normally is and gave me a big hug but I’m just sat her feeling terrible and mortified that the neighbours likely heard me scream like that and just embarrassed that I overreacted to that extent.

Not sure why I’m posting - I know if someone else said the same, I would say to move on and let it go but I just am feeling a bit of a shit mum at the moment. Please be gentle - am feeling rubbish already.

Blimey, if you've made it this far without a shout I think you're doing a great job! It sounds like a really frustrating situation, it happened, you've apologised, that's it, draw a line and move on.

Hope she gets better soon.

Blimey.. you shouted her name once and then grovelled to her.. i dread to think what my neighbours think.. i have 3 and i yell loads

Thank you both. I know it’s sounds totally OTT… I’ve raised my voice before eg when telling her off but I really screamed at her - I think it was the feeling of really losing control of my temper that got to me.

It's happens, and really it is fine. You were pushed to your limit and lost it. It really happens to everyone and what's more you apologised, which some may say is grovelling I say it's great role modelling, you made a mistake and said sorry. Don't beat yourself up, sounds like you're an awesome thoughtful mum ♥️

I understand. I’ve done the same but no longer do it. Instead I seethe and no doubt give myself cancer in the process 😬

It happens. You've handled the situation well.
Stop beating yourself up!

Thank you all and especially @Ganymedemoon for your kind words.

Not normally one to beat myself up but she’s been ill and cooped up for days in a boiling house and been so good about it and so I just felt so bad to reacting so disproportionately to something so objectively small. It’s not like she had been a relentless terror or anything like that.

I appreciate the reassurance and will get over it and move on as advised..!

Had similar problems with antibiotics for my 3y old - it's nasty tasting stuff and should be taken on an empty stomach. Nursery came to the rescue as they convinced him to take the dose as fast as possible via a syringe then gulp some water to take away the taste (they framed it as a game I think). Once they'd convinced him to do it he was much more cooperative at home! Sympathies though, there were a few tears shed at the start of the course...

And? You have limits, what is wrong with your small child seeing that?

kids are annoying, they will drive you mad, and occasionally you’ll lose your rag with them, even sometimes when they don’t really deserve it. Unless you’re making a regular habit of it then just forget about it, she probably already has.

don’t FGS be one of these parents who raises the sort of child who plays up, then has a massive hysterical crying fit when an adult has the audacity to give them the bollocking they deserve.

@ThanksAntsThants

I have absolutely no issue with my child seeing I have limits. I have clear boundaries as a parent and have no issue being firm and telling my daughter off or letting her seem I’m frustrated.

But this was me losing my shit at a sick 3 year old who was just being 3 - she didn’t “deserve” it as you put it. It was my stress projected onto her and I felt shit about it after. Surely there’s some middle ground between being a total walkover parent and screaming at your child..??

@BlazingRufus we have literally been offering her a small scoop of ice cream after each dose and she still refuses - total nightmare. She’s normally a child you can reason with so I can only assume it really tastes awful.

Oh yeah it tastes shocking - I had a taste from a refused spoon early on in the process and can confirm that it's totally foul. Reminded me of crushed aspirin... Is there any grown-up from outside the house (grandparent etc) she looks up to who could try to give her a dose? I think nursery only had any luck with ours because he likes to impress them.

So like she was refusing her medicine/kicking off and you just yelled ‘AMY!’ Is that all that happened?

I really dislike shouting at kids (and I hate the casual attitude towards it, especially on here) as I feel it’s completely wrong to do it in the same way it’s wrong to shout at/scream at another adult. However, you had a one off and explained to her that it’s wrong to shout and you’re sorry. You handled it very well realistically.

And I agree with you, not screaming at your child/apologising for screaming at her is a long way from being a walkover. Actually, you’ve correctly modeled to her the right way to behave and confirmed to her that it is wrong to lose your temper. You’ve walked the walk to her and she’ll remember that in her grown up life. Unfortunately many people think that anyone who doesn’t scream/hit/whatever tactics they use is a ‘walkover parent.’ I think it makes them feel better, like their overly harsh tactics are necessary.

@BlazingRufus I don’t think so unfortunately - will just have to push through until the end of the course and maybe take turns with my husband (though the last dose took both of us to get her to take it)

@Kanaloa thank you for your kinds words and yes, your understanding of the situation was right, except it was a “I’ve completely lost it” shriek of “AAAMMMYYY!” rather than a stern, controlled shout.

It sounds like it's been rough for you, don't beat yourself up! Some days are harder than others!

You'll remember that moment for a long time but I bet my bottom dollar she won't. I remember moments that weren't my finest from when my kids were small, they are now adults and have no clue when I mentioned them in conversation a while ago. Please be kind to yourself, you are only human. You reached your limit but recognised it before anything damaging could happen and you walked away. Apologising to her teaches her a good lesson too

Thank you both, your kindness is v much appreciated. Slowly regained a sense of perspective throughout the day..!

Same, mine are 2, 5 and 7 and I spend about 90% of my time shouting!

OP don't worry about this at all, we've all done it and she won't be bothered or even remember it.

OP don’t beat yourself up. It was a one off.

I’m more amazed at how so many parents on here are so casual about constantly shouting at their kids and think it’s okay. Imagine if your partner shouted at you everytime you did something ‘wrong’ they’d be labelled abusive - it’s no different just because someone’s a child

Is it the standard banana one? Or another one? We got given an orange one when DD had tonsillitis and she would not take it, we spoke to the GP and he then prescribed a different one stating that most children won't take the orange one...