Partner unhappy with me

[MissMadEyeMoody]

Hi, just looking for some help

So, I have 3 DC. 6, 3 and 7 weeks.
DC1+2 go to school/nursery while I'm home with DC3 and I'm EBF

The problem is that I'm finding it hard to keep on top of the household chores. There are always dishes in the sink, laundry basket never seems to empty, clean washing lives on chair until I get around to putting it away and there are toys and books all over the place.
DP works 8-5 Mon-Fri. He has now told me that he has been unhappy the last few weeks with the lack of tidiness I've done around the house, he comes home and complains that there is always something for him to do so he can't sit down and relax. He says he can't continue like this.
I've been trying my hardest, but I really am struggling, baby is never happy to be put down, and on the rare occasion he will lie on his mat for 5 minutes, I'll pop to the loo or grab something to eat/drink

Any suggestions on what to do?

Equal leisure time. You both should have it in the same quantities. That means you should have equal time when you're not working, doing chores, doing life admin, or looking after the children. If that's not the case, your relationship is unfair. Make him a spreadsheet if he doesn't get it.

Is he aware that there is a7week old baby in the household. Or did that pass him by?

He's being utterly ridiculous. You have a 7 weeks old baby!! He needs to realise that he is a parent of 3 children and there isn't a knock off time for that. If he doesn't like coming back to a messy home then he needs to make a mental adjustment and spend the first 15 minutes of reaching home giving the house a quick tidy up, and then he can 'rest' after that.

Wow tell your partner WELCOME TO FAMILY LIFE. My house isn’t as busy as yours (just one DC 8 month old) however she takes allll of her naps on me and refuses to sleep in her cot during the day so I have barely any time to get anything done and you better believe when my partner gets home from work he has a jobs list to get done (Or he watches baby whilst I do it) I get through by reminding myself in a few years time this will be a distant memory as baby will obviously be a young child and able to be left alone or at school etc so things can get done and both my partner and me can relax for atleast a few minutes! Your partner should of thought about this before you had another child if it’s a problem otherwise he should wake up and realise to keep a clean home and happy children it is hard work all around!

If baby doesn't like to be put down then maybe think about using a sling to allow you to get a few things done in between feeds? Not ideal in this heat but may be a solution.

Also, remind your 'D'P that he has three children, so the notion of 'relaxing' after work is not something he should have, as he has to do his share of parenting them when he's home. Not like you get to switch off and relax in the evening.

If there's any chance he's gearing up to "I can't do this any more and I'm leaving" then please make sure your interests are protected OP, seeing as you don't have the financial securities that marriage brings.

Ask him when you get to sit down and relax because I bet he expects you to do all the childcare during the evenings and weekends too, doesn't he?

At 7 weeks old and a fussy baby, it's no wonder you can't get much done. In a few weeks you'll likely be able to do more like just doing the washing up after making food or doing the laundry and running the hoover around. But for now with 2 children and a tiny baby, you should be resting, focussing on surviving and he should be picking up what you can't do!

If he isn’t will to help after he has finished his work day then let him pay for a cleaner once of twice a week.

Your DP seems to have unrealistic expectations of life with multiple children 🙄 treat him like a toddler and offer choices. When he gets in from work, say to him would you like to wash up or hold the baby? Would you like to clean up from dinner or do bath time? Are you cooking dinner or are you helping with homework?

On a side point, if you do want to do more house work because it's annoying you when it builds up then consider baby wearing, putting washing on a delay start, cleaning when DCs are asleep and before going to bed make sure the house is tidy so you start fresh the next day... Nothing worse than coming down in the morning to washing up and wishing you just did it yesterday 🙊

It's tough when baby doesn't want to be put down so be kind to yourself too!

I feel so sorry for you
Your partner is a twat