Nursery Question

[Danani]

Hello,

I have a question re choosing a nursery...

We have done our research and narrowed it down to 2 options:

1. Option 1: Close by (~10 min drive / 20 min bus); most affordable out of all the ones we've seen; seems decent.


2. Option 2: A bit further away (~15 min drive / 30 min bus); most expensive out of the bunch; but looks absolutely incredible - everything looks nice, new, vibrant, staff super welcoming.

My question is, when we send DC to nursery she'll only be 9-10 months old...is it worth biting the bullet and going for the more expensive option 2 (which is where we want her to go later on when she turns 2 or 3); or is it going to be ok to send her to the closer and cheaper option initially; and transfer her to the fancy one when she'll be a bit older to take advantage of all the things they offer? The thing is, both nurseries seem fine, it's just Option 2 has this really lovely curriculum for the slightly older children; they also offer a ton of extracurricular activities, as well as help for parents when applying for schools, and have a fantastic track record. However, I don't think DC would truly take the most out of it this young...and the price difference is ~£500 pm between the two. We're first time parents, obviously want to make the best decision, but equally don't want to just throw money if there's no real benefit to do so this early on...

I was thinking of openly discussing this with the nursery as well, see what their advice may be, but I think obviously they would be keen to have her sign up with them from a young age, so not sure how helpful that conversation would be.

I also worry about moving her from one nursery to another, is this going to be stressful and disruptive for her? I would hate for her to make friends and love her teachers only to move her out a year later...

Sorry for the massive post, I'm probably being way OTT and overthinking but any advice would be super appreciated!

I wouldn't move her. We've just had to move our two. The baby transitioned fine. The just turned 3 year old has struggled a bit more leaving her friends and teachers she loved behind.

My advice for what it's worth is to choose a nursery where you are happy to stay and not do a move. It's pretty hard for them to settle sometimes.

Secondly m, the nurseries seem a really long way away- if you're rural fair enough but if not location is a big factor.

Thirdly, and most importantly I'd base my nursery decision, aside from safety/safeguarding issues on the one where I really think the staff who will be looking after my child are the most caring.

Option 2 from the get go. It’s not like option 1 is walkable so really what’s another 10 minutes when you’re already in the car/on the bus and it seems like you prefer it for a young baby (super welcoming staff) right through preschoolers (great curriculum etc).

I was in your position. I went with option 1, it was horrendous and DS was only there 4 months till I pulled him out. Came back with injuries all the time and they couldn’t tell me how he got them, I heard from other parents they had the same problem. So we switched to option 2 and it was amazing, more expensive and it was a 20-25 min drive but the distances never seemed like an issue or complaint.

Thanks all! I appreciate everyone's insight and opinion!

I guess I can mention there was Option 3: 5 min walk from where we live; price-point is between Option 1 and 2; the staff seemed friendly enough; but the nursery itself did not wow us in any way, it looked kinda tired and the baby room where she'd be initially was very small and stuffy....It felt like even though it was SO close, there was nothing else really going for it.

We have a car, and we're in a big city, so lots of public transport options, so even though options 1 and 2 are further away, it's not going to be an issue (I hope).

If the staff are good in option 1 then I'd definitely go for it due to cost saving and being closer. Toddlers don't really care if the toys are brand new or well used.
We've put our lo in the closest and cheapest nursery. It doesn't have fancy stuff but the bub loves it and is thriving in there.

It would be really unfair to move them once settled. Having a bond with the staff and secure attachment is vital. We have moved further away from our nursery but because DD loves it and is settled we are commuting to it until she goes to school.
Option 2

2

Why kind of help when applying for school? Is this for a private school or a state school? DD1 went to a slightly tired looking nursery but the staff were very nurturing and flexible with the children’s needs which is why we took it.

My DD started at 10 months and we chose the more local and cheaper one and seemed ok but we had a horrific time, to the point I pulled her out and threatened Ofsted.

We then went with the one I had been dreamily eyeing up but had initially decided against because of the extra money and travel time and we didnt look back - from day 1 her experience was completely different - for a start, they were able to get her to nap!

A shiny flashy nursery doesn't always mean better mind you - for me its the staff. If they are engaging, friendly, attentive then thats your winner.

Its crippling us financially but I can drop her at the door every day knowing she is safe, cared for, paid attention to and given fun stimulating activities.

We went cheaper up to 3 then moved DD at 3 when we got the funded hours to the more expensive one. She moved fine, normal settling in to a new place, but was easier when she older as i could explain it to her

You have to also consider, will they still have a space to move her as a toddler? Lots of people start nursery later on if they need childcare but want socialisation (especially if they also get 2/3 year funding) so spaces may no longer be available unless your in a very under subscribed area.

With regards to the school applications, is this private as I doubt they have any bearing on state schools?

Price and fanciness can mean nothing, see my thread under this username. Most expensive one in the area, with “best facilities”, rated inadequate 2 weeks before PFB was due to start! Now going to cheaper by £500pcm local one because they had a space, 5min walk away, looks “scruffy”, but the children are well loved, go out all the time to library, parks and walks. Nothing gives me more satisfaction than seeing the bond PFB (now 20 months) has with the staff there, the way they speak to her leith true affection, which means I don’t worry at all.

At the time, a second time mum told me “just go for the one nearest your house”, which sounded ridiculous but honestly makes the world of difference to life and everyday time together.

You haven’t mentioned how the staff interacted with the children when you were there, or about the staff turnover (you can ask). I’d say those were the things to look for. Also free flow to outside (ours doesn’t have that for babies but takes them out a lot).

Yes, so, it is for private schools that they provide support around the whole prep and application process. They also do some fun stuff for parents (like support with different workshops/talks from specialists ie potty training, fussy eaters, etc etc). I know that is not the important bit, but it just seems like such a well-rounded place that goes above and beyond. Staff were wonderful, we saw them cuddling the babies and interacting with all the kids. I was even shocked that the manager who took us around knew the names of the different babies when we were in the baby room (the have 80ish kids, so I thought that was impressive!).

in the cheaper option, the nursery was fine, spacious, secure, staff we saw were lovely (though it was on the weekend so no kids to see them interacting with), they also had some cute things they’re deploying to help kids settle and feel safe and at home. It just paled in comparison with the other one. However for £500+ per month difference in price I can see why!

You are essentially paying for something that will take care of your most precious thing

Why (if you can afford it) your not going with the one you find amazing is beyond me

@MoodyTwo I'm not saying I won't go for the more expensive one, I just have never had a baby/sent them to nursery, so wanted to see what other more experienced people would recommend.

I'd go for option 2 if you can afford it and have the time. A great setting makes so much of a difference. I also wouldn't dream of moving my son to a different childminder unless we moved miles away. It would be too much upheaval for him.

So you saw Option 1 during the weekend when there were no children there but Option 2 when there were? No wonder Option 2 comes out better, plus staff will be putting on a bit of a show for visiting parents as any nursery staff member will tell you (of course they are probably lovely anyway).

Can you return to Option 1 when children are in so you can get a true comparison? I agree that a low staff turnover and staff interaction with each other and the children beats flashy new toys any time

@Abracadabra12345 yes, option 1 was open day on a weekend; option 2 was a showround during the week when it was open. TBH, they weren't putting on a show, because we were watching them via the cameras in the reception area and only went in the room later, and they were interacting all the same. But I agree, probably best if we pop over to the first one during the week to see it "in action".

Go with your gut. It'll always be right. I put my DD2 in the cheaper, less shiny nursery but it was definitely the right call, so far anyway! If you're really 50/50 just flip a coin and judge how you feel based on your immediate reaction. Just for balance I sent DD1 to a (different) shiny, expensive place and that was also the right decision

Thank you @bbqhulahoop ! That is good advice and good to know that the decision can look different and still be the right one! I think we'll think a bit more and then just go with what feels right at the time.

I think when it comes to nurseries you have to go with your gut feeling so if you have a better feeling about nursery 2 and can afford it then go for it, don't get your child settled in 1 then switch when older, ime older children struggle more with the change like that and she'll have got used to all of the staff and made friends by that point.