Self soothing??

[CBM89]

Hello.
Baby boy is now 4.5 months. Will not fall asleep without being on the boob or on the move in pram during day. Won’t take a dummy. Still waking 4/5 times a night and won’t go back to sleep without being on the boob. Need some advice on how to get him to self soothe back to sleep.
Im so very tired !!
thanks in advance!

That is very normal at that age and beyond. My DD was very tough at that age and was waking every hour, she's almost 1 now and we are getting anywhere from 3-7 hours just depends.
It is very exhausting! Depending on a babies temperament will depend on whether or not they can settle themselves back off to sleep but a lot of babies can't.
They rely on us a lot as they are so tiny they don't understand how to drift back off to sleep without assistance.
I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear.
Check out some of these Instagram accounts as they explain it so much better than me:
Second star to the right
Little nest sleep
Hey sleepy baby
Fox and the moon infant sleep

You can't. He is a tiny newborn. He has needs and instinct that scream at him that without you he is vulnerable.
You just have to roll with it.
It's hell. It's hard but it will pass. Put him down if you feel overwhelmed and like you may lose it.

There is a sleep regression around 4 months which is probably not helping the tiredness!

4.5 months is still so young and crying is their only form of communication at this age and boobs are a comfort. I think from around 6 months they start to improve and it gets easier as they get older.

I feel your pain - my DD was a boob monster and the only way I got any sleep at that age was cosleeping.

My advice would be keep as a strict pre bedtime routine and stick at it until 6 months where you can, if you choose to, start to look at some sleep training.

Ah, the old 4 month sleep regression. I copped out and continued to feed to sleep in this stage, so I can only offer words of "the right thing to do".

For the next month or so, baby will be developing sleep associations that will stick for a while. If you don't want to continue this trend, then do keep relentlessly encouraging baby to sleep independently. It's gruelling! One time I spent 3 hours trying to put him down for a nap. Eventually, exhausted, I sat down for 5 minutes nearby him (he was lying on his play mat) and the little monster went to sleep on his own!

I think parents keep trying to DO SOMETHING to get their child to go to sleep. It stimulates them because "yay! favourite person is doing stuff with me".

I wouldn't start serious sleep training at this age, but just gentle encouragment and putting him in the "right" enviroment.

• Dark room
• White noise (I was against it at first because I don't want him to be dependant, but it does help)
• Sleeping bag - though not in this heat!
• Night lights can be stimulating, and babies aren't afraid of the dark
• Calm environment

It's really hard to keep doing all this! But the best way to stop "bad" associations is to stop them being formed in the first place.

Even if he does feed to sleep for the next few months, he WILL grow out of it eventually.

Good luck!

Tricky if baby wont take a dummy. You could introduce a small comforter, sleep with it a few times and then keep giving to baby.
I work with mums and babies and the only ones who soothe themselves to sleep, who haven't been left to cry, are the ones who have dummies. Babies usually need some form of comfort to settle to sleep. Do you give baby a minute to see if they will settle themselves when they wake before going straight in?

Thank you I’ll check those out. It’s just I think I was so lucky with my first one he was sleeping through the night by four months

Never feel like I’m going to lose it but would just like to be able to go out for dinner or have husband be able to help with bedtime !

I’m in the Same room still as baby is in a cosleeper. I do try and leave him for a few minutes but never works. Do you think it’s too late to introduce a dummy?

You can try! My DD was exactly the same, I felt trapped in bed because even attempting to creep away its like she knew and would stir within minutes.

If its any consolation, they DO learn eventually - I did NOTHING and she just started to sleep longer shifts by herself without me in the end!

The one thing I did wish was that I did just let my husband get on with sometimes - I did make a rod for my own back as she only ever settled for me and if I heard her crying I would run in lifting my top up as I knew a boob would fix it. I should have at that age let her learn to settle with him too.

I'd suggest putting the baby in their own room. A lot of babies sleep alot better when given some space.

And introduce a "blanky" (favourite muslin)

At 4m neither of these suggestions are safe, unfortunately.

This is not current advice. Babies should be in the same room as parent/s until 6 months (12 mo the now in the uS) and their sleep space should be clear as there could be a risk of suffocation

I know I’m exactly the same. Before I do anything else I just go straight to feeding.
I’ve just got him to start a bottle occasionally so I can leave the house and have bought some Mam dummies today to see if they help.
im away for a night in august and starting to freak out already!

Well my eldest was in his room from 4 months but I don’t feel like this one is ready for that yet.
but I will try and Muslin because that worked well with my first also. Thank you.