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Original poster

Loss of a grandparent

6 replies

Emmasumm · 17/07/2022 10:57

Any advice would be welcome my ex husbands mother has suddenly died and our daughter is six can anyone offer any advice on how best to support her through this time it’s her first experience of loss they were very close

OP posts:
Treaclex69 · 17/07/2022 11:19

If she's wants to talk about her let her but don't force her. We planted a special rose bush in our garden in memory of my DH's parents. My DD was 3 when we lost fil and 6 when we lost mil, when mil passed in Aug 2020 it was very difficult for DD as she witnessed mil at her very worst in her last days as due to the pandemic we had no alternative so she was very aware of what was happening and strangely it helped massively. Be honest if she asks questions just answer in an age appropriate manner most of all remember the memories, the funny stories and make sure you laugh it's the best kind of medicine.

Original poster
Emmasumm · 17/07/2022 11:33

Treaclex69 · 17/07/2022 11:19

If she's wants to talk about her let her but don't force her. We planted a special rose bush in our garden in memory of my DH's parents. My DD was 3 when we lost fil and 6 when we lost mil, when mil passed in Aug 2020 it was very difficult for DD as she witnessed mil at her very worst in her last days as due to the pandemic we had no alternative so she was very aware of what was happening and strangely it helped massively. Be honest if she asks questions just answer in an age appropriate manner most of all remember the memories, the funny stories and make sure you laugh it's the best kind of medicine.

thankyou so much for your words I’ve got her a little plant thing today that you write a message on

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perimenofertility · 17/07/2022 11:52

How sad for her at such a young age! I think is important to explain that it's ok to be sad - so often it's tempting to rush in to stop them crying but actually crying is a natural way to grieve. Also important to explain that her dad will be feeling sad too, and hat if she sees him crying it's because he misses his mum and she shouldn't be worried about him.
We have a wonderful children's book. It's called "Cry, heart, but never break", by Glenn Ringtved.
It's about a grandma who dies. "Death" comes to the house where he talks to the grandchildren about joy and sorrow and explains why people die. I recommend it.

Chocolatetrifle · 17/07/2022 12:35

Sorry for your loss.
Goodbye Mog, is a story book that you can get which discusses death, also 'Grandpa Rabbit is in heaven' is another nice book which explains about dying.

Answer questions honestly, and explain it is ok to feel sad, talk about the person regularly and display photos of the person.

easyday · 17/07/2022 13:00

Do you have a nice photo of them together? Putting it in a special frame and having it in her room may help.
Also I'd let her go to the funeral. My father died when my kids were 3 and five and it helped. They didn't attend the reception after (they'd be bored).

Original poster
Emmasumm · 17/07/2022 17:02

easyday · 17/07/2022 13:00

Do you have a nice photo of them together? Putting it in a special frame and having it in her room may help.
Also I'd let her go to the funeral. My father died when my kids were 3 and five and it helped. They didn't attend the reception after (they'd be bored).

ive been thinking about the funeral and have a feeling my ex will just decide without talking to me about it first we only communicate through solicitor his choice not mine and although I have tried and tried to co parent he’s just not on board

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