Tips for decluttering etc

[Iamsnoopy]

I was left on my own whilst pregnant with my eldest. And to my perhaps shame I kept everything pretty much - every scrap of paper every cuddly toy. I then married and had my second 7 years later and both children are hoarders - broken games etc We moved to a much much smaller house 12 months ago and boxes are just stacked up everywhere garage, shed, summer house. After counselling and seeing friends with situations 100 times worse - we are tackling decluttering and binning bit by bit.

Yesterday after a furious argument about tidy rooms it was a dawning who realised he had absolutely no floor space as he just has games piled up.

it took hours but we decluttered his drawers, desk, under bed and clothes but he has a couple of massive game boxes still to go.

so tips for
completing it
eldest is worse so trying to even get in their room
is tough

broken stuff - tip
favourite drawings or certificates in memory box
clothes - charity
toys - charity shop

I have like 1000 cds ? What do I do with these? Charity shops will not take them nor dvds

anyone successfully decluttered?
how do you keep motivated?

both my eldest and son got upset this morning so we have stopped. But how do you keep on top of it?

youngest said he felt much better and has much more room etc but how do we not fall into the trap of more stuff filling the gap we have just made?

what cuddly toys or games do you keep and why?

can I have your best practical tips?

To point out I’m not married that relationship
was Abusive and I then did the same with youngest - counselling has helped enormously

My Occupational Therapist gave me the following to think about when decluttering:
Do I need it?
Do I use it?
Does it have a place?

It helps prioritise the things to keep.

CDs and DVDs - some charity shops will take them, but if absolutely none near you do, and you have the inclination, scan them on Ziffit or Music Magpie or whatever. CeX offer better prices on dvds, but there’s more effort there as you have to take them in store. Anything worth anything - even a penny - sell to them, assuming you have a few bits worth a pound or two. Anything else tip or give for free on marketplace. Tip them all if you don’t want them and aren’t able to use a selling app.

Depending on your budget Dana White's books are really helpful. She also has an online course with minimal mom and clutterbug which is really good.

You might not need this stuff. I have ADHD so I need it alllllll lol.

We always have a declutter before birthdays and xmas….. I always say if you don’t play with it anymore another child might appreciate it, I don’t tell them what is going to charity shop and what is going in the bin, i found when I did say it was going in the bin they would try and hold
onto it whereas the thought of another child being happy with it seemed to satisfy them

Just bin everything. That ohhh this will go here that can go there doesn't work for us. Because it never ends up in the charity shop ect and therefor you don't move forward. So bin it all and start again. I don't like clutter so I am ruthless. Each week have a proper look around and bin stuff not needed/used. Defo clear out before Xmas and birthdays.

Well we have 3 black sacks of toys for the infant school who have requested them for the infants bits - he is going on year 4. We have 4 black sacks of broken toys/ cars etc we have a black sack of uniform already collected for pta a bag of cuddly toys (he’s kept a hundred) but it’s getting demoralising now !

I think an important thing to think about is what do they have so much stuff in the first place and why is so much of it broken?

Answering those questions and coming up with a solution will stop you recluttering going forward.

Are the toys guilt buys from you? Are they pocket money buys from children who don't know how to save/get too much pocket money? Have you developed a buying habit as a family (car boot or charity shop hunters)?

Do they break stuff by accident because it's all over the floor/not stored properly? Because they don't value it because they have so much? In anger?

They key thing going forward is to think carefully before you bring something into your house. If it's hard to get rid of stuff, don't buy stuff you don't need in the first place. Where possible operate a one in/one out policy with toys/books/clothes etc.

Eldest just had a total meltdown about her cuddly toys she’s 15 - so I said nothing is going in the loft pick which ones you definitely aren’t bothered about and we will black sack them/ done we managed to just take 30 to a charity shop. Her recycled dinosaur with its own pen etc made when she was 5 that in a huge cardboard box on top
of her wardrobe that means she can’t store anything else there is gone - she took it outside and took a picture and it’s gone and been recycled etc

A combination I think. Eldest has never had an contact with her dad he didn’t want her and I tried to compensate and I was proud of her and she kept everything.

I just don’t want up regrets throwing it out

I couldn’t bare it when she started crying saying this was all
her stuff but she also hated it and couldn’t cope

There are two factors to decluttering - getting rid of stuff and stopping more stuff coming into your house. The kondo method is good and so is the bbc program sort your life out. The general advice is to declutter your stuff before you help the kids sort out theres.

• theirs

We all have a tendency to accumulate crap in our family. DH is in denial and believes himself to be the only tidy minimalist in the house, the DCs refuse to part with even actual rubbish at times, and I am trying very hard to reform but it is an uphill battle both against my own natural tendencies and that no matter how much I try, more stuff builds up (because I'm the only one cleaning). It is thankless, but things are gradually getting better. I've found it gets easier over time as you realise how much better you feel when things are clearer, and that you don't actually miss the stuff you've let go.

For the kids' rooms I 'tidy' it for them every so often when they are not home. 'Tidy' does = tidying, but in the process I chuck out all random bits of paper and broken things, and remove all outgrown toys and put them in the loft for a set holding time before passing on/selling. They are usually so pleased with how shiny their room is, they don't notice the missing stuff. Very, very rarely they will ask for a loft-ed item a week or so later. When that happens I look puzzled and promise to have a look for it in the coming days, then 'find' and return it I find doing the DCs' stuff easiest as without my own emotional attachment it is easy to see what needs to go.

I wish I had someone to do the same for my stuff! Instead I find doing multiple passes easiest (if not the quickest method). I go through an area getting rid of everything I am OK to part with, then revisit it a day/week/month later (depending on the emotional attachment to the item eg whether it is DCs copious amounts of artwork or my late DM's treasured nick nacks), and then sometimes do a 3rd or 4th pass. By the time I revisit each time, my subconscious has moved more things from Maybes to Get Rid. This method feels less of a wrench.

I highly recommend you try and sell anything you think is in good condition. Vinted is great and knowing that the item is going somewhere that someone wants it really helps. It's also great to see some money coming in in return that can then be used as a day out or other treat. It does obviously take time to list all the items and you have to keep them while waiting for them to sell but I still think it's worth it.

Stop
buying
stuff

"Depending on your budget Dana White's books are really helpful."

Her aslobcomesclean podcasts are free and good to listen to whilst decluttering.