Found porn on my daughters phone 😭😭😭

[Muma00]

Please Help,
I really don’t know what to do, although my daughter is 9 years old, she would pass for a 11-12 year old, she started her period when she was 8 years old and has gone through puberty already.
This evening I checked her phone to monitor what she has been doing as I worry, but I have discovered there are afew tabs of pornsites open with very graphic content, I feel sick and haven’t stopped crying knowing she has watched stuff like that 😢
I have instantly put restrictions on her phone now but do i sit her down and talk to her about what i have found? I don’t know what to do 😢
I have older kids, and so protective of them all, I now feel like such a bad Mum and let her down 😢

Sit her down and talk to her about it, don't shame her, don't be mad. Just say 'oh, I was using your phone and noticed X in your browser. Where did you come across these websites' but definitely don't make out that she's done anything wrong,if you embarrass or shame her, she's likely to lie or find other ways to hide it. She may have been sent them by someone else (a friend) and clicked on them out of curiosity or she may have heard about porn and decided to have a look. She's 9, she's curious and doesn't understand that porn isn't where you learn about sex and relationships.
You are not a bad parent, you've put restrictions on her phone now and if you address things now then you've handled it well.

Look she's on the youngish side but kids are curious little blighters and it might be something her friends mentioned and she's had a look . Yes you need a chat - not to shame her but to tell her that porn isn't real and it's ok to be curious but it's really not appropriate for her age.

Expect this to rear at its head again in the teen years. Try not to explode with emotion, you want her to talk to you about this stuff when the time comes so even if your upset, you have to come across calm and non judgmental.

And I say this with so much love if you have elder kids (teens) I doubt they haven't ever looked at it either, probably just bit more savvy not to get caught.

You want to be in a place to open a discussion up not shut it down. Your not a bad mum. Kids aye who would have them ?

(Ps and I thought toddlers were hard work - teens top it by miles)

You let a 9yr old have unrestricted access to the internet? Why does she have a phone, let alone a smartphone, let alone one without parental controls?!

In this day and age it is incredibly irresponsible to be so lax. You've had a lot of sympathy from PP and I can see that you feel really awful about this, but exposure to pornographic material before you're even double-figures is very warping. She's likely to have seen things that distress and confuse her and if I were you I'd be seeking professional advice on how best to handle it.

🙄

Don't want to be hard in you OP as children are naturally very curious and its very difficult to avoid porn on the internet.

However I have to agree I think she is also too young for a Smartphone. My kids didn't get one until they were 13 or 14 and we still had restrictions.

Social media, porn etc can be very destructive to growing girls and their self image/self understanding.

I have a good friend whose dd developed a servere eating disorder that kept her out of school from 14-18 and she said her greatest regret was giving her a smartphone around the age of 10.

Good grief, what are you doing allowing a 9 year old unlimited access? This is mad.

Please talk to her about all this.

Bit shocked at a 9 year old having a phone with internet access. Also don’t you get child restriction software when you set up devices for kids.
yes , I would keep a closer eye, and give her opportunities to talk about what she saw . Poor thing.

This needs a conversation.listen don't fill the gaps with your emotions.let her talk.you need to hear honestly what the hell going on so she can't agree with anything you've assumed or goes on your reaction.be neutral,calm.sit down.talk
But why the foook has she got a phone and access.

You need to get to the bottom of why she’s looking at it - has she been having online conversations with anyone? It sounds she’s had no restrictions on her phone until now, so the situation could be a lot worse than just looking at porn. I know you feel awful, OP, and I don’t want to add to your distress, but no way should a nine year old have a smart phone and unrestricted internet access.

Hi all,

Thank you for your contributions, we will now be closing this thread as the user has de-registered.

Apologies for the inconvenience and enjoy the sunshine!