When should we be ready at any point

[Rxr2915]

So just had a chat with my boyfriend- with the heat being a million degrees understandably he’s had a couple of nice cold drinks. I’m not winging or anything but it all of a sudden dawned on both of us- we live 20 miles from hospital v rural so we do not have taxis here

I am 30 weeks pregnant at what point should he be “evening ready” ie able to drive at any point do you guys think? I would assume maybe from week 35? Or is that late?

I remember our NCT person giving us a (gentle) bollocking for not bringing our notes with us to our last meeting - because "from now on, it could happen at any time"- and I think we were around 32 weeks.... of course almost all of us had to be induced about 10 weeks after that but that's another story!

You are most likely to go into labour between 37 and 42 weeks I think. Is this your first? In this case (unless there are some unforeseen complications or emergency) your labour will probably be long enough for you to arrange transport.

True about transport but I know that he would prefer that he drove and yes this is my first the alternative would be my mum driving but that would not be ideal

I think from 'term' (37 weeks) is the best idea. Most babies are born after 37 weeks and first born are usually a bit late

In your situation, I would say just start now. Better safe than sorry. And it's not a huge sacrifice for him to make is it, given what you're going to be going to.through.

We agreed on 37 weeks as that is "term". Most babies come within a week of their due date but I know plenty of people that gave birth at 37 or 38 weeks.

That far from the hospital I’d want him to not be drinking now tbh unless there was someone else there with you who could drive (or not more than 1 drink). It would be a bit different if you lived in the city 10 mins from the hospital, then I’d probably say anything up to 35/36 weeks would probably be ok.

Thanks guys much appreciated! Will have a chat with him about it I have just been kind of leaving him to do his own thing with it as there won’t be much drinking when baby gets here if that makes sense

I can't remember what it was but I had something wrong one weekend about 28 weeks witn DC1. DH had been drinking that weekend and I said to him after that he needed to stop drinking just in case.

I don't remember a similar conversation when pregnant with DS2. But I was in and out the hospital after 28 weeks with him anyway. I ended up in the hospital at have him at 37 weeks.

I think we did 'term' but I only bothered taking my notes with me if we went on longer journeys - not popping to the supermarket or anything like that. And on some days DH would have had to get home from work first anyway.

Can you ask him to switch to alcohol free beer for the last few weeks?
That's what my partner has been doing recently. He's not a big drinker anyway, but with the weather so nice lately I understand why he likes a cold beer in the evenings/weekends. He's been quite enjoying trying out all the different brands.

A bit off track but drinking alcohol will only make him more dehydrated in this weather. Could use that as a selling point!

To be honest generally with your first there’s a long time between the first twinges and needing to be anywhere near being accepted on the the ward in hospital. I wouldn’t worry about it until much nearer the time and if he’s only having one or two beers then there will be plenty of warning and he can stop drinking when you get contractions.
I’d probably suggest not drinking more than one or two from much closer to your due date but then this isn’t something I ever considered while pregnant, my ex dh was working 2.5 hours drive away when I went into labour and I waited a few hours before calling him back.

I'd say start now, it's one of those things, if he stops now, you won't need him to drive, but if he doesn't you will. Personally I wouldn't take the risk

Just start now.

I only had 6 hours from first contraction to baby being born, we left it so late that baby was crowning when I was in back seat of the car. And that was with a 12 minute drive! The last thing you need in labour is to be arranging alternative transport.

You need to have a robust means of getting to the hospital 20 miles away and only way to do that is for your boyfriend to be in a fit state to drive 24/7.

I'd be asking him to be ready from now too. It's not just going into labour, you can have all sorts of things that mean you need to be monitored at short notice - headaches that flag pre-eclampsia risk, reduced movements, itchy feet suggesting cholestasis etc. The later you get in your pregnancy, the more likely it is that you'll need to go in and as people have said, it's not a huge sacrifice for him in the wider scheme of things! You don't want to have to call midwives/111 and then struggle to get in if they say you should.

Non-alcoholic beer is quite nice, and you could join him in having one!

Do you have anyone living nearby who could be a backup driver, in case you need it?

Probably from 38 weeks most 1st babies are late definitely not for the next 7 weeks at least

I just kept my notes in the car from about week 24 (we are also rural so go everywhere by car) then kept basic hospital bag in the boot from about week 35. OH stopped drinking completely from 37 weeks onwards so as to be ready to drive. My pregnancies were very incident-free though - if I'd had any reduced movements or anything I think we'd have been ready earlier.

Don't rely on first labour being slow and/or late though, my first was born at 39 weeks and like @Cannaa89 I was crowning in the car!

Argh some of the labour stories are worrying! Yes my mother isn’t far but I really don’t want her to be the driver and tbf she is 70 years old and has a social life and no reason not to have a drink if she wants too so there is 0 guarantee she would be any better!