Any social workers?

[QuizzicalLady]

Hi, looking for some advice. Sadly, a friend has received a call at 3.30pm today from social services MASH team. She struggled severely with harassment from them prior to Covid and has only just recovered from their interference. I don't want to go into why they have called but am just wondering what the timescales are for assessments and child protection conferences? She suffers severe mental health issues and am worried as, no matter how much you tell social workers, that their interference is making the situation worse, they simply don't care and it becomes a self-fulfiling prophecy because they get what they want in the end - further mental health episodes to prove their point. I want to support my friend by giving her some timelines to give her an idea of how long she has to endure this unnecessary stress. I'm so sad for her as I watched her go through this last time and it destroyed her. I saw another article today where a mother killed herself because of social services and I know my friend can't hold out for this long overdue overhaul of their failings by the government which seems to be taking an age.

No experience sorry but I really hope your DF gets the help she needs for her MH problems

Without knowing why they have called then its impossible to give advice.

However there is usually an initial referral discussion which takes place very quickly after ss become involved and its there that plans are put in place for case conferences/ assessments etc.

This is in Scotland so may vary depending on where your friend is. The main piece of advice that I would give is for your friend to work with ss and do whatever they are asking of her.

If she has severe mental health issues then she needs help and support, which social services can provide. It's better than them ignoring signs and yet another child dies from neglegt/ abuse.

If your friend suffers from severe mental health problems you aren't helping her or her children to frame social care involvement as harassment. The children are very likely being negatively impacted by her mental health.
a decision on whether an assessment will be completed should be made within 3 days. The assessment should be completed within 9 weeks if it's section 17, 3 weeks if section 47. She should be told the outcome in advance of the assessment being shared with her.

She works so severe is not the right word as she is happily contributing to a society that shuns her. I'm sure you are happy to accept her tax. All it takes is one malicious phone call and then they are there and she doesn't stand a chance. She has engaged with her private mental health team as social services would stick her on an 2 year waiting list and pat themselves on the back for their 'action', so she is putting her hand in her pocket and doing their job for them really. I think she will have to pay around £800 this month in appointments alone. So if she is solving the problem off her own back why does she need to do the social work dance? It's sad that right to a private family life is ignored in this country 😕. She is a good Mum.

🙄

Social Services absolutely don't have the cash or the staff to waste time harrassing decent parents whose children don't need help. Your friend has sold you a crock, I'm afraid.

@MolliciousIntent how is your career in social care going? Haven't you seen that social services are in crisis with no clue who is suffering or not hence the large spate of murdered children, yet they are making enquiries on someone who is simply trying her best? Nice.

Well evidently you have no clue OP. Plenty of people are quick to criticise the 'large spate of murdered children' (horrible phrasing by the way) but fail to apply any sort of critical thinking and recognise that conversely many many are saved and so don't end up as part of those sad statistics. Despite popular belief social workers have zero incentive to remove children (realistically its more paperwork and red tape so who would want that?), and a big part of what they do is to support families, including the children. I'd advise your 'friend' to work with them rather than being suspicious of their intentions. Out of those who shout about their children being wrongly removed from their care (to highlight in this case there's zero indication this is the intention in this case anyway) there's always a reason.

The problem is the murderers don't come with a tattoo saying 'murderer' so they have to consider all referrals and complete the assessments where necessary. Only be doing the assessments, can they know which are 'families trying their best' and which are harming their kids!

And sometimes people trying their best isn't good enough for a child because they're best means they are neglected or abused

She may well be trying her best. That doesn't mean that it's good enough! Neglect isn't always malicious, a lot of the time parents who aren't looking after their children well enough are failing through no fault of their own. Your friend will not be being investigated for no reason - there will be some aspect of her parenting that is severely missing the mark, otherwise SS wouldn't be involved, and refusing to accept that fact will not do her any favours.

So if she is solving the problem off her own back why does she need to do the social work dance?

Because their responsibility is the child's well-being. Her difficulties must be pretty substantial if appointments are costing her £800 a month. How long will it be before the problem is solved - as you put it? Can the child cope for that long?

While I can sympathise that this must be stressful for your friend I’m afraid her ‘right to a private family life’ simply doesn’t supersede her child’s right to be safe. She may well be doing her best but that unfortunately still may not be enough. Sadly some people, through no fault of their own or malicious intent, are simply incapable of keeping their child safe and it’s only by investigating and monitoring children at risk that SS can determine whether this is the case.

No that is pretty standard cost for where she lives. She pays for the best. £800 is one therapy session a week and 1 consultant appointment a month to monitor. You obviously have no idea how much it costs when you go your GP, any kind of medical appointment etc. Each of those professionals charges a high hourly rate? Why do you think the NHS is crumbling? The question is, when the NHS is destroyed, will you be able to pay? 🤔

@QuizzicalLady that's not really the question, is it. The question is whether your friend is fit to care for her child.

It's very clear that you're angry and worried about your friend but your comments display zero understanding of processes and have no basis in reality. The best thing you can do for your friend and her children is to support them and encourage her to engage with any assessment.

Given this is the second time ss have been involved with your friend it seems likely there are concerns about her parenting.

either she is not being fully honest with you, or you are part of the problem in terms of her attitude towards their intervention.

Despite what you may believe sw do not have time to harass parents - they wouldn’t even know your friend existed UNLESS someone raised concerns with them.

let the process happen and support her children to be safe.

(if you want my qualifications I’ve been practising over 12 years in safeguarding)

I've worked with a lot of parents whose children have been (mostly voluntary and temporarily)removed due to neglect. Most of those parents cared deeply about their children, they weren't 'bad parents', they were overwhelmed by MH issues that meant they struggled to care adequately for their children. The number one priority has to be the kids welfare; I had a huge amount of sympathy for those parents, I really did, nobody wants to remove a child from a loving home - but sometimes intervention is needed to protect the child.

I would try to reframe the involvement if it was my friend - it's not helpful to see it as a battle, if their involvement is deemed necessary she will have to work with them whether she likes it or not - seeing them as the enemy will make the process so much harder on your friends MH.

Does she know who reported her and why?

So a gap of 3 years, not sufficient enough?

No evidence of significant harm though - just she struggles with the process of kissing the a** of a very dangerous person with a pen.

Well that would depend

• is her condition one that fluctuates so sometimes she is well and capable?
• who was seeing the children (professionally speaking) during covid?
• had she made changes but struggled to sustain them?

it’s really hard to give a further position as we have no facts apart from she has MH.

m I understand you want to support her but hostility really is not the best way out of this

Yes she has been well and capable for a number of years.
Nobody saw them as they had been dropped down from child protection in 2019 and case closed. There were no incidents during covid up until now.
She has sustained her MH but it has recently had a blip.

You still haven't told us why SS were involved either time.

Has your friend recently been arrested?